scared of suicide

[elainey70]

I have been suffering from severe anxiety for 4 months and currently take 30mg seroxat and 75mg of seroquel. There was a story in my local paper this morning about a girl who had attempted to commit suicide by jumping from a bridge. This has really unsettled me and my anxiety is through the roof. I have a real fear that i to might try to do something like this and it's been playing on my mind all day. I had been doing really well. I'm now really scared.

[happysammy]

im sure this is normall the fact that you fear it means that its something u wouldnt ever want to do! i used to fear going crazy or mad but im pretty sure crazy people dont log on to no more panic as there going crazy lol

[Nigel]

Hi elainey70,

That’s the sort of tragic story that would make any normal person think, but that doesn’t mean that you might do something similar. No at all.

When a person decides to take their own life it isn’t done on a whim. It’s something that they feel absolutely sure about. The don’t have doubts about it like you have.

And HappySammy is right – when a person fears something it’s because it’s precisely what they do not want to happen. Fear urges a person to avoid the object of their fear, not be drawn to it.

Take care :)
Nigel

[Hazel B]

Nigel's right, it's your mind fixating but trying to protect you from NOT hurting yourself. Try to distract yourslef and keep busy to divert your thoughts.
People who do take their own lives have usually been very ill for a long time and have been planning what to do.

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Elainey I'm sorry that you have been troubled by these thoughts. It might be good for you to get in touch with your CPN/psychiatrist/ GP or failing that the Samaritans who are there 24/7. You needn't have to suffer like this. Take care. EJ.

[HarrogateChris]

There are times in the last few months when I've been scared by my own suicidal thoughts.

It's good to be open and talk about them. For me, I realised that it wasn't me that I wanted to end, it was my situation and my illness. That was a really helpful distinction. It also helped me to recognise that it was my illness that was making me think that way and I don't want my illness in charge making those sorts of decisions. At times, I lay on the lounge carpet and hung on. The feelings passed.

I don't want to die, if you're scared by these thoughts it doesn't sound like you do either. My GP advised me that the thoughts were quite common, some danger signs to watch out for are things like stopping talking about such feelings or starting to make secret plans to carry them out. If you catch yourself doing that get yourself somewhere safe, go to A&E or phone 999 or anyone. The important thing is to keep talking about the feelings and not to feel ashamed by them or to hide them away.

:hugs:

Chris

[harasgenster]

Hi
Don't worry. This is really common in people with anxiety. I was once terrified I would momentarily lose control and kill myself and I really didn't want to die! You do fixate on the things you're most scared of or the things that seem like the worst thing you could do.

I used to think I was going to attack small children and puppies/kittens and stuff. whenever I was around one I used to hold my hands really tightly to stop me from doing it or just walk away. Similarly, my Mam once told me she used to think she was going to kill her parents and a psychologist once told me she had had patients that thought they would kill their own babies!

You're not going to do anything you don't want to do. The anxiety is making you think you will go ahead and do something you fear but it's JUST the anxiety. No one ever acts on these fears when it's caused by anxiety. They act on them for different reasons. Suicidal people, as people above have said, know they want to do it and plan ahead. You're not doing that so there's no reason to panic. :)

[elainey70]

Thanks to you all for your replies. I am terrified of dying and have no intention of committing suicide, this is what makes these thoughts so frightening.

[mr badger]

As Chris and others have said, this is part of the deal for the oikes of us.

I've recently learned that there is a huge difference between thinking about suicide and feeling suicidal.

Two weeks ago I was in a major crisis and wanted it to end above all else, thinking repeatedly about suicide and just 'not being'. No plan,no consideration, just the fear of what I might do really.

Anyway, I think only REALLY crazy people never think about these things :)