Heart concern

[candicemarie88]

As I've mentioned multiple times I am constantly worried about my heart.

I called out an ambulance in August due to a very severe panic attack, which I thought was a heart attack. The paramedics checked my heart rate on a machine and taped many wires around my chest area and arms... so was this an actual ECG? do you think that if i were to develop a heart problem in a few months it would have shown up then?

I' just extremely worried over my heart and visualise it suddently stopping, it's terrifying. I haven't told my doctor that I have health anxiety, but just that im always anxious and on edge.

I often can't handle the fact that I am a living being and that my heart is keeping my alive and that it should be checked every day to ensure it's working properly. Sometimes I wish I was lived in a home and were looked after and reasured on a daily basis. I need to overcome this... im so scared im going to drop down dead and my heart always skipps beats now and its VERY uncomfortable :(

[PokerFace]

Lol, I seriously can't beleive how much you sound like me. It's actually amazing, I basically wrote the last part myself in my health anxiety diary back in May :huh:

Anyway! Yea, what you had at the hospital (or at home with the paramedics) was an ECG and it's virtually impossible to develop a heart condition in a few months. Your hearts just reacting to what your brain is telling it to do even though you don't mean too. You're in a high state of anxiety pretty much constantly and that's what brings on all the nasty heart symptoms. x

[JoniEdwards]

Hi there

Like so so many of us, I have the heart worries too, every single day I have them. I know how you feel. I've had all the heart test a few times each time my ticker is just fine....stress and anxiety does crazy things to our bodies. Try to do some meditation and relaxation techniques...its a slow process but it's something worth trying, that's what I'm doing..=):hugs:

Joni

[Skin'eadWesty]

The heart issue is a big worry to me too. I get it at the silliest times. The other night I helped a lady carry her loaded double buggy up my train station steps, she thanks me, I go back down and sit waiting for my train. All of a sudden my heart's going crazy. I get the skipped beats at night too. I find it hard to come to terms with how anxiety can cause such a real and frightening symptom, but its true. I find i check my rate all the time too, it doesnt help me at all. 3 ambulances it took me to finally realise I'm not dying. But thats not to say it stops it happening. I'm waiting for some therapy at the mo. CBT is meant to be a good help

[Jamie C]

Hi

I have chest pains aswell, it really scares me, i'm only 18, but quite overweight aswell, even tho its never been a problem (it will be in later life so i'm gunna start doing something about it) i was very concerned untill i came across this forum, and discovered it was part of anxeity, it did put my mind at ease and i now know not to panic when i get these pains, altho it still makes me concerned about whats acctually going on in there.

Cheers Jamie C

[candicemarie88]

Thanks :) I know it must be anxiety, but that doesnt stop it from happening, so i'm always stressed out and feel as if im about to die!!

I've felt really abd today and now, feel really breathless and depressed, i can't stop crying. i feel as if im being smothered and someone is strangling me :( i keep sort of zoning out and then get electric shocks of fear rush through me... i can't handle this, i really do feel ill. i'm worried about taking tablets too because i'll read the possible side effects and then i'll develop those symptoms, but it's most likely all in my mind. im struggling to realise what's actually reality and what's just in my mind :(

I don't feel real, i have to constantly check my pulse, pinch myself, scream and take deep breaths... i don't understand how i am actually sitting here, a living and breatjing human being. i often experience these thoughts when im out of the house. it happened the other day when i was in tesco, i suddenly began to feel faint and wobbly, and to have a kind of out of body experience which then led to a panic attack and i had to leave the shop. im always obsessed with my breathing, because it doesnt feel natural and fear that i'll stop breathing when i go to sleep :( my life is a total shambles. is this depersonalisation syndrome? i don't feel real at all and im so scared of dying... i seriously think that i am dying, i really do feel ill and keep zoning out. my vision is also going blurry... im worried that i might have a brain tumour and am too scared to go to the doctors, i keep putting it off :(

i'm such a loser :(

[PokerFace]

You're not a loser at all. Does sound like you're having depersonilsation though, only had it a few times myself but it is bloody horrible! I was where you are a few months ago and with the right support, exercise, mental attitude, it DOES get better. You should go to see your GP for reassurance and maybe a talk about your anxiety to see what options are available to you. x

[candicemarie88]

okay thanks. i just hate myself for thinking like this, i can't control my thoughts though. i really want to get better for christmas and rleax. I still feel as if my heart is stopping and it's scaring the hell out of me. I will go to my GP and am going to ring the surgery tomorrow morn to make the appointment. I just feel like an idiot and as if they will think badly of me. I hate being like this, I want to relax and enjoy my life. I seriously do feel old before my time and this is only going to get worse.

Do you know if prolonged anxiety/stress can have an impact upon your heart? im worried that if i continue the way i am then im digging myself into an early grave!
x

[PokerFace]

Hmm you read that too huh? I'm gonna say maybe. And even with that maybe, it would probably be really high levels off stress for like 40 years or something and plus, who knows? Those people could have developed heart problems with or without their stress. Nobody can say for sure obviously.

It's not gonna get worse, I didn't get worse and I've pointed out how strikingly similar we are in our worries. The GP won't think badly of you and if he does you should find yourself a new doctor. Your GP is the first step to recovering from anxiety once you've taken that step and been told you have anxiety you can start to get things back on track. It'll be ok and let us know how you get on with your doc! x

[candicemarie88]

Thanks :) , it's reassuring to know that you've experienced really similar symptoms and you're feeling better now. what medication are/were you on? I'm asthmatic so can't take beta blockers. Almost out of diazepam now, and the escitalopram appeared to cause an allergic reaction, however that was most likely my mind influencing my body. i just want to beat this thing, i never expected it to become this out of control. When you were at your worst did you find it hard to concentrate on anything else and feel extremely breathless/shaky/sick? x

[PokerFace]

When I was at my worst I:

Couldn't speak properly

Couldn't think about anything other than my heart

Convinced myself anything I saw on the tele/read in magazines about heart attacks was some kind of premonition or warning

Convinced myself that if I kept "seeing" myself have a heart attack in my head I'd eventually end up giving myself one with the power of my brain (totally impossible btw for anyone that get's scared of this too)

Couldn't breathe for 2-3 weeks straight

Cried constantly

Couldn't hold down conversations

Became afriad to leave the house incase I died of a heart attack and afraid of stairs cuz it made my heart go fast(er)

That's just the tip of the iceberg really but that's how awful anxiety can be. But I'm no where near that bad now so I'm living proof it does get better! I take beta blockers for my anxiety at the moment but hoping to stop them soon, it can be beaten and recovered from without medication I think. Exercise is a nice place to start. x

[candicemarie88]

i experience all of those symptoms, it's so horrible.. i feel detached from those around me, as im always in my own little world - worrying about dying!!! My boyfriend and family get very frustrated with me and tell me I am being silly and childish, but to me this is all VERY real.

I'm glad the beta blockers are helping you... i hope i am prescribed an effective medication and can soon get back to my old self.

Thanks for your help and advice, it means a lot :) x

[PokerFace]

Hope the GP helps you out too! It's really not nice being afraid of your own heart cuz you can't get away from your own body no matter how much you want to. I really do understand the level of anxiety and frustration you're going through at the moment. As for your fam/bf they won't understand cuz people who don't have anxiety really can't understand. I've tried to explain it to non sufferers 1000 times in 1000 different ways but they just don't get it. You'll get people who understand and support you here though so it'll be ok!

It's no problems, I'm glad to help :) x

[wendell]

Hey candicemarie88. Everything you're discribing is familiar to me.
I developed an a fixation on my own heartbeat after i started getting loads of skipped beats one weekend in 2005. It didn't help that around the same time a kid at my university died of an undiagnosed heart condition whilst he was jogging, an unfortunate event which i think freaked a lot of people out, but which would always end up coming into my mind with every skipped beat.

I started exercising regularly and eating right, the skipped beats decreased in frequency and i got more confidence in my body. The last few years ive been training martial arts and doing loads of intense strength and conditioning work, i've proved to myself taht my body can handle some punishment and be absolutely fine, however since i first started getting panic attacks its like i've lost confidence in my body again. Anything strenuous makes me nervous and uneasy. The last few times i've tried to exercise it's brought on panic attacks.

I think in a way it comes down to ability to tolerate risk and uncertainty: you mention wanting to live in a home where you could get daily reassurance, i've had similar thoughts but if you think about it what kind of life would that be? Would you trade all your freedom and indepenence for that sense of security? Feeling anxious feels so horrible i guess it might seem like a good trade just to be free of anxiety. But all life is uncertain and there's no amount of reassurance that can change that, so there will always be that anxiety.

The sense of unreality of your own existence/ feeling like a stranger in your own body is apparently common in anxious people and is explained as the minds way of distancing itself from discomfort. In my experience it can be brought on by excessive introspection, you're much less likely to feel like that if you're engaged with something external. A mind occupied with the practical processes of day to day life will not usually be drawn into that kind of thinking. Interestingly i think it's something everyone experiences from time to time, but rarely talks about for fear of sounding like a raving lunatic. You might be able to relate to this article:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/may/05/healthandwellbeing