BigDunk34
14-12-10, 12:54
ive recently found that writing down what im going thru really helps, because when i read it back a few hours or days later, i realise how stupid my behaviour is. here is a list of diseases ive worried about having this week, (last seven days)
testicular cancer: no reason for this, i just thought "i havent checked them in a couple of weeks....what if....."
hodgkins disease: i can feel two softish round lumps either side of my neck..... dont know how long theyve been there, and i have to feel around to find them, they are not obvious, but still i thought the worst!!
bone cancer: i have an uneven manbrium bone, doc has cheked it, says its fine, but i found my solf prodding it and thinking "does it feel diffrent? bigger?" and i ended up worrying about it for a few hours.
skin cancer: i have a red flat freckle/mole on my back, ive had it checked, all fine, but i found a small crusty scab on it, it has gone smaller now, but i was convinced i had skin cancer, ruined my weekend!
now thats four deadly diseases in the space of 7 days, crazy!!! i find it helps to think of rational thoughts to counter act my negative thought, and my rational thoughts outnumber my negative thoughts 10 - 1!! for example, my testicular cancer rational thoughts.... based on nothing! not even symptoms!! if somebody had told me that i had leprosy, i had laughed! why? no symptoms! see what i mean??
hodgkins... yes i have two lumps either side of my neck, both in the same place, so what did i do.....stick it into google! need i say anymore... however, i have a mole on my arm that ive had since birth, its unsymmetrical and is more than one colour and its bigger than 6mm....if i google that it will say CANCER! but i know its not.. so why do i think ive got hodgkins?
the bottom line is... yes i may have cancer, but so might everyone else on the planet! the reason why i worry so much is that i love my life and never want it to end, but when i worry, im not living, so it has to stop. i feel that writing stuff down and reading it a few days later is like filming yourself dancing whilst drunk, and then watching it back when your sober! you cringe! hahahahaha!!!!!
anyway, i hope people can relate to this and it can help them a little bit!
in the words of evanescence...... I AM DYING....AGAIN!
hahaha!!!
testicular cancer: no reason for this, i just thought "i havent checked them in a couple of weeks....what if....."
hodgkins disease: i can feel two softish round lumps either side of my neck..... dont know how long theyve been there, and i have to feel around to find them, they are not obvious, but still i thought the worst!!
bone cancer: i have an uneven manbrium bone, doc has cheked it, says its fine, but i found my solf prodding it and thinking "does it feel diffrent? bigger?" and i ended up worrying about it for a few hours.
skin cancer: i have a red flat freckle/mole on my back, ive had it checked, all fine, but i found a small crusty scab on it, it has gone smaller now, but i was convinced i had skin cancer, ruined my weekend!
now thats four deadly diseases in the space of 7 days, crazy!!! i find it helps to think of rational thoughts to counter act my negative thought, and my rational thoughts outnumber my negative thoughts 10 - 1!! for example, my testicular cancer rational thoughts.... based on nothing! not even symptoms!! if somebody had told me that i had leprosy, i had laughed! why? no symptoms! see what i mean??
hodgkins... yes i have two lumps either side of my neck, both in the same place, so what did i do.....stick it into google! need i say anymore... however, i have a mole on my arm that ive had since birth, its unsymmetrical and is more than one colour and its bigger than 6mm....if i google that it will say CANCER! but i know its not.. so why do i think ive got hodgkins?
the bottom line is... yes i may have cancer, but so might everyone else on the planet! the reason why i worry so much is that i love my life and never want it to end, but when i worry, im not living, so it has to stop. i feel that writing stuff down and reading it a few days later is like filming yourself dancing whilst drunk, and then watching it back when your sober! you cringe! hahahahaha!!!!!
anyway, i hope people can relate to this and it can help them a little bit!
in the words of evanescence...... I AM DYING....AGAIN!
hahaha!!!