harasgenster
14-12-10, 13:54
Ok, here goes. This one's a bit embarrassing! And I'm sorry but there's a lot to say so it's going to be a long post!
I've recently been diagnosed with overactive bladder (after eight months of torture!), which is when your bladder sort of goes into spasm and just starts contracting for no reason. It's sort of like having cystitis and period pain at the same time constantly.
I'm on medication for it and it's really helping a lot but I still have a lot of worries.
I've always been a bit scared of the idea of incontinence and from what I've read my condition normally causes incontinence, although it didn't in me - which I'm glad of because it would have completely broken me! But I'm still a bit anxious about it.
I mostly blame the condition on a coil (IUD) that I got when I was 18 (I'm now 24). When I first started feeling unwell they did an ultrasound and found it had fallen out of place. When they removed it my symptoms got dramatically better (but stuck around to a lesser extent which is why I've been diagnosed with OAB).
There's several things I'm now worried about. The most embarrassing one is to do with sex. With my last boyfriend, I guess I was about 21, I began to have orgasms for the first time on my back. I'd always been too anxious to have them with boyfriends and on my own I had to be on my front because I couldn't relax on my back for some reason. Anyway, I taught myself to relax and all seemed to be going well. However, a couple of times when I was relaxed a bit of something would come out. I just thought it was female ejaculation because I'd heard about that on TV. But when it happened once when I was on my own I got scared and looked it up. It seems most doctors agree that female ejaculation is actually stress incontinence. Since then I have been too scared to orgasm and do not enjoy sex anywhere near as much.
I've talked about it with my current boyfriend (and when it first happened I actually spoke about it with my ex). Neither of them see the problem. They both said that if it's only a dribble it doesn't count and it doesn't put them off anyway (though I don't know how it doesn't disgust them!) I asked my boyfriend if he had known any other girls that dribbled and he said one of his exes had. He hadn't really thought about what it might be and didn't really care about it one way or another. Again, everything is fine. I then told my friend who said sex is a bit earthy anyway and, again, if it's only a little bit and there's no need to change the sheets or anything it really doesn't matter.
But I can't get over it, no matter what anyone says, the idea just disgusts me and makes me feel dirty and humiliated, which is why I can't orgasm.
This OAB has made everything a hundred times worse. It's like my body just went - what's her greatest fear? I know...
The condition has made it so that I can't feel pleasure during sex - anything up there just makes me need feel like I need the toilet - so obviously that's intensifying all my fears. I'm also worried that because I went to the toilet like every fifteen minutes for eight months I will have weakened my pelvic floor.
So, I decided to try Kegel exercises. I looked it up on the internet to find out how to do it and gave it a try. But I don't seem to be doing it right and I'm scared there's something wrong with me! It says you're supposed to insert one finger and lift the muscles. You're supposed to feel them lift on your finger and for the vagina to squeeze round the finger but I feel no movement on my finger at all!
I'm terrified I'm completely broken and I'm never going to be the same again, nevermind teaching me how to enjoy sex again, what if the physcial problems with sex (no pleasure at the moment) go on for the rest of my life! I'm worried maybe the coil has damaged me permanently?
And if I can't lift my pelvic floor like you're supposed to be able to, what happens if it gets worse? What if I end up completely incontinent in my mid twenties?
It all sounds stupid since I'm getting better, I know. But I can't stop worrying! I just wondered if anyone had suffered with anything similar or had any advice?
Thanks
I've recently been diagnosed with overactive bladder (after eight months of torture!), which is when your bladder sort of goes into spasm and just starts contracting for no reason. It's sort of like having cystitis and period pain at the same time constantly.
I'm on medication for it and it's really helping a lot but I still have a lot of worries.
I've always been a bit scared of the idea of incontinence and from what I've read my condition normally causes incontinence, although it didn't in me - which I'm glad of because it would have completely broken me! But I'm still a bit anxious about it.
I mostly blame the condition on a coil (IUD) that I got when I was 18 (I'm now 24). When I first started feeling unwell they did an ultrasound and found it had fallen out of place. When they removed it my symptoms got dramatically better (but stuck around to a lesser extent which is why I've been diagnosed with OAB).
There's several things I'm now worried about. The most embarrassing one is to do with sex. With my last boyfriend, I guess I was about 21, I began to have orgasms for the first time on my back. I'd always been too anxious to have them with boyfriends and on my own I had to be on my front because I couldn't relax on my back for some reason. Anyway, I taught myself to relax and all seemed to be going well. However, a couple of times when I was relaxed a bit of something would come out. I just thought it was female ejaculation because I'd heard about that on TV. But when it happened once when I was on my own I got scared and looked it up. It seems most doctors agree that female ejaculation is actually stress incontinence. Since then I have been too scared to orgasm and do not enjoy sex anywhere near as much.
I've talked about it with my current boyfriend (and when it first happened I actually spoke about it with my ex). Neither of them see the problem. They both said that if it's only a dribble it doesn't count and it doesn't put them off anyway (though I don't know how it doesn't disgust them!) I asked my boyfriend if he had known any other girls that dribbled and he said one of his exes had. He hadn't really thought about what it might be and didn't really care about it one way or another. Again, everything is fine. I then told my friend who said sex is a bit earthy anyway and, again, if it's only a little bit and there's no need to change the sheets or anything it really doesn't matter.
But I can't get over it, no matter what anyone says, the idea just disgusts me and makes me feel dirty and humiliated, which is why I can't orgasm.
This OAB has made everything a hundred times worse. It's like my body just went - what's her greatest fear? I know...
The condition has made it so that I can't feel pleasure during sex - anything up there just makes me need feel like I need the toilet - so obviously that's intensifying all my fears. I'm also worried that because I went to the toilet like every fifteen minutes for eight months I will have weakened my pelvic floor.
So, I decided to try Kegel exercises. I looked it up on the internet to find out how to do it and gave it a try. But I don't seem to be doing it right and I'm scared there's something wrong with me! It says you're supposed to insert one finger and lift the muscles. You're supposed to feel them lift on your finger and for the vagina to squeeze round the finger but I feel no movement on my finger at all!
I'm terrified I'm completely broken and I'm never going to be the same again, nevermind teaching me how to enjoy sex again, what if the physcial problems with sex (no pleasure at the moment) go on for the rest of my life! I'm worried maybe the coil has damaged me permanently?
And if I can't lift my pelvic floor like you're supposed to be able to, what happens if it gets worse? What if I end up completely incontinent in my mid twenties?
It all sounds stupid since I'm getting better, I know. But I can't stop worrying! I just wondered if anyone had suffered with anything similar or had any advice?
Thanks