I need advice from you mums and mums to be

[heavenly]

I am in such a dilemma. I am 44, have been trying for a baby for 18 months, we have had tests and are both fine, but obviously my age is the main factor. I have been having anxiety and depression for the past 4 months, I am on 20mg Cit. So baby making has gone on the back burner for the mo.

What do I do? I can't keep putting it off as I have practically no time left really to conceive, but if a miracle did happen and I got pregnant, will I cope with it and being on antidepressants? I don't want to give up any chance I have of being a mum, even though I know the chances are so small.

[Brwonstag]

It really depends on how severe your anxiety and depression are. I am currently cutting down my medication (quetiapine, for bipolar disorder, though I also suffered with OCD and general anxiety, which my medication also helps me with). I am 40 and wish to start trying for my second child, my son being 2 and it took us a long time to have him.

As I cut my medication down, the old anxious thoughts start to pop into my head (like horrible accidents happening to my son), but I am determined to cope with them by myself in order to try for another child. I am very conscious that there isn't much time.

As to whether you will cope, I'm afraid that's the thing about pregnancy. You can't know how it will be beforehand and it's a risk all of us take. But you can try more alternative methods, like massage and other things to help you relax. As to herbal remedies for anxiety and depression, I think none are suitable in pregnancy.

Personally I'm quite a determined person, and I know this will help me get through some trying times, and a baby is worth it all, I can assure you.

You can always go back on medication after the pregnancy, and indeed, there are some medications that can be used for depression in pregnancy (although not at the conception stage, I believe). I was lucky enough to see a perinatal psychiatrist on the NHS, in Kent, but they are few and far between. And she only works part-time! She is worth her weight in gold!

Good luck, whatever you choose. :)

[heavenly]

Thank you for your advice. xx I have felt really low last night and this morning. My other half told me he had all but given up on us being parent, with me not being well, it did make him sad but knows thats just how it is. That made me sad. I don't want to close the door on being a parent and on my good days, I want to be pregnant, but on the bad days, I don't know how I would cope. Not sure if 20mg is enough for at the mo, my low moods make me see everything through a negative point of view and I feel weak. GP said she may up me to 30mg in the new year but will see how I am.

[josparks]

hi heavenly well i have ha and im 39 and having my 3rd child i must admit its not plain sailing ive had a few scares in the past weeks but im praying it stays ok i was told prozac was the safest to have if u were pregnant what i wasnt told is that it thins ur blood like asprin i am tryin to come off them but its not good when ur pregnant and anx but most times im not to bad now cos my mind is elsewhere but i do get the few times i am all my kids are 9 yrs apart so this is probably my only chance of having anouther im just trying to take it easy but i am lookin forward to it

[heavenly]

It is a real dilemma for me and I don't have a lot of time to put it off. I may have to up from 20mg to 30mg, so hopefully if that dosage works for me, and I feel brighter, more able to cope with things (I am getting counselling as well), then I can make an informed decision as to what to do.