hi!

[laura]

Hi Everyone

Well, I'm sure some of you will realise what I mean when I say that this is weird! I didnt ever think I'd be writing into a message forum let alone one about panic disorders and attacks. I suppose this is just another part of the realisation to me that this kind of illness can affect anyone and at anytime. I have been battling both depression and anxiety for some time now, although I didnt realise there was anything wrong with me. Well, I suppose thats not true, I suppose I always knew I wasn't feeling right but I think what I mean is that I just always thought it was "just me" and not that I actually was unwell. I hid it for years behind a mask of false strength and fake confidence and now that it is all open with my family, my boyfriend and my work colleagues as well as open to me to understand, things have been so much easier and I can do this, I can beat it, I can and I will. Oh how three months ago I never thought I'd say that. I have been lucky, with the support from everyone around me including my GP who referred me to a clinical psychologist I am doing great. Not 100% yet and I know it is a long and winding road to recovery but I can actually see some light at the end of the tunnel now and it feels good, at last I feel good even if it is only a little bit.
I just want to say to anyone out there, you can beat this, and you dont have to do it alone, Outwardly I was one of the most independant people you'd ever meet, young, successful, attractive and yet hiding a secret illness from everyone because I thought I could do it myself. Understanding I needed help and being able to accept it was and still is the hardest thing for me to do but I am taking the advice dished out to me. I have understood I dont have all the answers and that I need someone to help me, and they have.
Keep faith, faith in yourself, you have all got this far, when you feel down or panicky, remember the bad times, remember how bad it was at times and think to yourself, "I got through it then, I've got this far" and remind yourself if you managed it then, before, when it was really bad that you can do it again. Thats how I help myself beat the attacks when they come. I remind myself how bad I have had one before and that I'm still here so I can do it again. Hope this helps some of you.
Laura xx

[Laurie28]

Laura,

It was really nice to see someone with such a nice positive post!! I know what you mean about it being hard to admit you have anxiety/depression/panic etc! it took me a while to admit thats what it was and I never really started to get 'better' and until i admitted it!

It's great you have such a good support network with alot of understanding people. If there is anything you need to help you on your way let us know!

Have a scout around the forum and you will get great advise re: diet/exercise relaxation etc.

Good Luck and welcome
Lucky

[apricot]

Hi Laura,

Welcome. What wise and inspirational words! This place is brilliant for making friends who understand what you are going through and has loads of infomation on a range of subjects.

Well done on how far you have come! :D

Nikki

Turn 'what ifs' into 'I can' and you will.

[Meg]

Laura,

Well done for getting yourself help and well onto the recovery path.
Thanks for taking the trouble to seek us out and stopping by with your encouragement.

Good luck for a continued recovery path , with your attitude and determination you'll do great. If we can help you at all - just post.






Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[me]

oh what a lovely message, thankyou x its great to hear your message really reminded me of me!! you give me such hope, thankyou again love from mary x

[uryjm]

Hi Laura
A problem shared is a problem halved, as you've found out, but sharing it with people who are living through what you're going through, as you can here, is of even greater benefit. Or so I've found. Keep posting.

Jim

[sweetwater]

What a ray of positivity you are Laura! Totally lifted me up reading your post. Great to hear that you're travelling better, and you're right, half the battle is actually recognising that you are unwell and then swallowing your pride and accepting help from other people, which can be real hard at first. And of course when it is mental, it is so much harder to decipher whether it's your personality just going through a bad patch, or you are not well. Diagnostic criteria recognises this also and that's why they usually refer to the time frame of feeling unwell for over 6 months, as a diagnosis for depression for example. It's good also that you have support around you too - without those people who love you and accept you unconditionally and are there to weather the storms with you, I'm sorry (and this is just my opinion) but all the therapy in the world will not help you. Therapy is great though and has helped so many people, including myself, but I guess what I'm trying to say is, you must have someone who you can open your heart up to and trust, and know that they will be there for you unconditionally. And that's why this board is wonderful, as with all the online forums, as for some people I imagine, this is their `family' in a sense- they may not have people around them, may live alone, few friends etc, or others, who have got a spouse, kids, friends, family around them, but may not feel that they can share it with them and feel isolated...much love to you all. xx.

[uryjm]

Just an amusing quote on therapy:
"I came to therapy hoping to receive butter for the bread of life. Instead, at the end, I emerged with a pail of sour milk, a churn, and instructions on how to use them."
From a book by Sheldon Kopp, "If you meet the Buddah on the Road, Kill Him!"

Jim

[sweetwater]

lol Jim...it's true isn't it. Therapy, I think, gives you the tools and the premise to make it happen for yourself, but it cannot take you there...only you can do that.