Bit disturbed and upset by GP today!

[debs71]

Hi Friends,

Anxiety wise I have been doing very well lately...I have been able to also keep a lid on my panic (though I still feel it rising sometimes) and am getting on generally ok.

Anyway, I came back from Spain at the end of November, unfortunately with what I suspected was cystitis. I didn't see my GP as I had bought some over the counter herbal meds which were helping, but after 3 weeks I still had the symptoms on and off so today I saw my GP.

He confirmed cystitis/UTI with a urine test and prescribed me antibiotics, however what upset me was when I told the GP this was my second bout and it always coincided with the times I am intimate with my boyfriend (who I visited abroad) and asked him if there was anything I can do to prevent it (as I knew that you can take a low dose antibiotic as cover after sex if you have a tendency for them from intercourse) he said...

'Change your boyfriend'.....

I didn't take it seriously at first, and then he went on about antibiotic cover and making sure you wee after sex, etc. but then later on he said the same thing about changing my partner.

I asked him 'Seriously??' and he looked at me like I had two heads! I then asked 'Is it something to do with him then?' ...and he said no, but sex is about two people and how they interact with each other and some bacteria can come from his rectum and be passed into my urethra during sex'.

Why then would he say something like that to me then about changing my partner if this is a common thing that can happen to women after sex?

I don't know why but it just upset me a lot as I care deeply for my partner and he set stupid doubts in my mind, when I know a UTI is not caused by a sexual bacteria.

Just wanted to vent folks, sorry.xxxxxxx:weep:

[lajjj]

id say change your gp! thats disgraceful! chin up hun xxx

[Vixxy]

I'm very prone to a UTI after sex. After 4 different sexual partners, I'm still the same. It's got nothing to do with your partner.

[suzy-sue]

Sounds like his getting confused with his infections Debs :shrug:..If it was a an S.T.I you could understand it ..Sometimes you can be allergic to someone ,I knew a woman who was allergic to her husband :ohmy:.But it didnt give her a UTI .As long as hes freshly bathed there shouldnt be anyreason he causes this .You can get cystitis from being to vigorous during intercourse ,perhaps he was thinking along those lines ? I really wouldnt let his remark upset you .Some Drs are pretty tactless and strange at times .:wacko:. t/c LUV sue x:hugs:

[debs71]

Thanks so much everybody for your reassurance, I appeciate it so much.

I think what you said is so true Sue....he is a bit of an old school doctor so maybe he was on the wrong tack, and like you say, had he mentioned the possibility of an STI then I could understand his comments, but he straight off diagnosed UTI. I think also that the vigorous sex thing is probably very relevant as well as because we see each other only every 4-6 months, we do make up for lost time as it were and spend a lot of time together.

I know I am daft to let it upset me as I know doctors often make tactless remarks, I guess it is just my anxiety setting off silly thoughts and dwelling on it.

Thanks again friends.xxxxxx:hugs:

[ems43]

I would seriously consider reporting him to the general medical council... that is disgusting behaviour. Or if not make a formal complaint to the health centre manager x

[debs71]

Hi ems, thanks for you reply.:)

Do you think so? I have to say, it really did upset me when he said that, as I couldn't rationalise why he would say something so inflammatory which he must have known would cast doubts in my mind about trust issues?

Having worked in the NHS for a long time I know that GP'S can be silly, tactless old duffers sometimes (sorry to any GP'S out there, lol) but they really should consider their words and the implications it may have for some more vulnerable patients.

I spoke to my Mum about it and she reassured me too that it can happen to women after intimacy often (her included years ago) and to ignore him.

Thanks again.xxxx:hugs:

[Hazel B]

Debs, your GP sounds a bit out of touch and insensitive. I seem to get UTIs for no reason whatsoever and I do ALL the right things with drinking water, wiping front to back, peeing after sex, cotton pants, unperfumed soap etc. etc.

It will be nothing to do with your boyfriend, hope you're felling better soon and take care.:hugs:

[JaneC]

Hi Debs - stupid man and you are absolutely right that they should be more carfeul what they say. I'm the same as Hazel, follow all the advice and still get UTIs. Concentrate on getting well and never mind the silly old b*gger (unless you do want to make a complaint that is). Look after yourself xx

[debs71]

AHHH...Thanks Hazel and Jane. Your replies mean so much to me.:hugs:

[Danath]

sounds like another flippant, arrogant GP.

I've no idea whether his would be an issue over an infection being transferred from your partner or not, I have no medical experience, but his resposnse should probably have been (in addition to discussing and prescribing the correct treatment for you) to suggest that it may be worth your partner seeking medical advice just to clear up any suspicions there may be.

heck some doctors have even called both people in to talk to them about it even if one of them isn't one of his/her patients.

Doctors being distant and objective, I understand, they have to be as they cannot emotionally attach to people in their line of work, however that is no excus for being plain rude and insensitive.

[Eggy]

Alot of Doctors are arrogant ******s!! I'd report him without hesitation.

[pd]

When I last had a UTI the doc told me that they can be caused by having more sex than you normally do, nothing to do with the individual person you're with!

Sounds like he is a bit confused!

I've been told that peeing and having a wash after sex can help keep the infections at bay, and drink lots of cranberry juice if you feel like you have cystitis coming on!

[harasgenster]

Yep, I've been told by my docs they haven't totally worked out why sex can cause UTIs but they know there's a connection. I was told to go to the toilet before sex and again ten minutes after sex. Cranberry juice definitely helps.

Besides, some women are just more prone to UTIs and they're not totally preventable, they just happen sometimes. Your GP sounds like he was being a bit of an idiot. Maybe it was even his idea of a joke? I don't know, but I definitely think you should ignore him. It was an insensitive thing for him to say but just try to let it wash over you and not think about it. He's wrong on this issue.

[debs71]

Thanks everybody for you kind replies...xxx

Yeh, I think I will avoid him next time. He is a very experienced doctor granted, but he is also one of those old school types who really needs to obtain some bedside manner I think.

pd, I think you have hit the nail on the head, as my partner and I don't see each other often so are perhaps a little too affectionate (shall I say, putting it gently) when we are together....sorry if TMI!! Maybe next time I shall try to arrange some antibiotic cover before I visit again.

Thanks all.xxxx:)