dela
22-03-06, 11:49
So here we are another day. I keep reminding myself that it’s a day nearer relief . The routine of each day is tedious and repetitive. Do something enjoyable some might say. Enjoyable, enjoy.. hard to know what that means. I’m at work at present.. things are quiet.. I have to go to the next town at lunch time to go to the bank. It’s only 5 minutes by train. Hate going. Nothing will happen to me. I just feel scared of doing it. I will just keep breathing and remind that I am safe.
My wife is encouraging us to have a holiday soon. I worry worry worry about the financial aspect although we will opt for a cheap deal. I find it difficult to think about making plans of any kind. Even down to what I will do this evening. I just want to feel safe …probably want to hide away.
So what is it that is making me feel scared. Does it matter?
My thinking seems to have a flaw. Which leads to anxiety and then depression.
Although I know that dep is no respecter of status or position I keep getting a hammering that I “should” be able to get rid of it.This sort of thing “doesn’t happen in my family” I’m beginning to ramble .
Just looking for some encouragement
Apattern that I have followed is hooking up with people in a place such as on this forum. When I feel a bit better it’s like I’m a different person. I probably will end up not visiting here. It’s like I will deny ever feeling unwell. I want to be able to offer support but I don’t feel confident, in fact I feel scared about giving support and encouragement. I feel like running “away” So many of you here are really supportive and you give of yourselves all the time. (This is just another pattern of me being hard on myself!!!)
I feel scared…..
My wife is encouraging us to have a holiday soon. I worry worry worry about the financial aspect although we will opt for a cheap deal. I find it difficult to think about making plans of any kind. Even down to what I will do this evening. I just want to feel safe …probably want to hide away.
So what is it that is making me feel scared. Does it matter?
My thinking seems to have a flaw. Which leads to anxiety and then depression.
Although I know that dep is no respecter of status or position I keep getting a hammering that I “should” be able to get rid of it.This sort of thing “doesn’t happen in my family” I’m beginning to ramble .
Just looking for some encouragement
Apattern that I have followed is hooking up with people in a place such as on this forum. When I feel a bit better it’s like I’m a different person. I probably will end up not visiting here. It’s like I will deny ever feeling unwell. I want to be able to offer support but I don’t feel confident, in fact I feel scared about giving support and encouragement. I feel like running “away” So many of you here are really supportive and you give of yourselves all the time. (This is just another pattern of me being hard on myself!!!)
I feel scared…..