Should I wait or start? p.s I drink

[dozwold]

Hi Guys and Gals.
I have had anxiety on and off for 10 years, although the last few months its come back real bad that its caused depression too. To cut a long story short, I have been drinking for a few years now probabaly 7+, generally 2 glasses of wine an evening. I used to think that it was due to becoming a little stressed in teh day it was a good way to unwind, . Recently I have acknoleged its my "way out" from being depressed and anxious and that im probabaly an alcoholic to some degree. Maybe not a million units a month, but enough to "need" it to cope. I tried to not take any drink one evening and felt so bad that. i had teh shakes and felt so bad and my anxiety and blood pressure raise high. In any case, I have been living with my american girlfriend in london for 4 years, and last year i treated her not so nicely. i took out my issues on her. My girlfriend decided to take a job offer a year ago back in LA near her family and told me if I realy loved her and wanted her I would move there. My work is in London, and I decided to give it a go, and now fly for 3 weeks in LA to see her, and 1 week to 10 days in london so i can do my paperwork and keep my biz running. I have doen thsi for a year now. its sooo hard as when i get back my workload is very high and stressful, and my anxiety rises every month and my depression too as I have no friend in LA and work mornings from home there to synch with London time, and have half a day of doing nothing every day until my gorlfriend gets back which plays on my mind and depresses me. I have tried making friends and doingh things but when your depressed and anxious its even hard to decide what to do for lunch let alone where to go to make friends. My girlfriend knwos how i feel as i keep talking about it and have also become a hypocondriac. In any case, I came back to london this week for my work, and I got so depressed, stressed and anxious I went to teh dr as an emergency who gave me citalopram 20m and told me to take them. I have held off taking them for a few days as i live on my own while in london and so scared of not sleeping at nights or nightmares or suicidal thoughts. In fact i ended up drinking a large glass of wine earlier today because i was scared of starting my meds. Now i dont know what to do, do i still take my first pill tonight even though i had a large glass of wine 2 hours before? Do i wait until I see her again (shes coming to london and we are gong on a beach hpliday for 10- days over xmas and new year) to start them (but i hate hurting her by her seeing me depressed and anxious and worried about side efefcts on a holiday). All i can think about lately is that im anxious and depressed and that I need something (like dink or a valium) to help me get throuh each evening. I sometimes cant eat, and sometimes cant sleep (which is worse as make you feel eevn worse next day). im just so sad and lonely and I dont know what to do.

[shortstuff]

Even if you start to take Cit now, they take up to 6 weeks to begin to work. My cousin recently needed to restart taking Citaloprma but had her wedding coming up. The advice that was given to her by her GP was NOT to start taking them until afterwards as the initial bedding in side effects may increase her symptoms (not what you need in an already highly stressful sitution).

It really has to be your call though. Once you start taking them, the side effects (if you get any at all) are mainly short lived. From my own experience it was worth getting through this period as they really have helped me to keep on track.

Good luck with it all.

[dozwold]

hmmm - I really dont know. On holiday I am generally less depressed and certainly less stressed and it would be nice for the meds to kick in January when work gets stressful again. By the same token i will probabaly drink at least 1 large glass of wine nightly on holiday. Anxiety and depression even makes it hard to make decisions. oh boy... Also, there is snow everywhere - what happens if my pill will give me a side effect at night that will make me need the emergency room? my other option is to take a sleeping pill tonight after the first Cit. oh boy... im sitting here looking at the cit packet not knowing what to do.

[HarrogateChris]

I put off taking Cit for a while too, I was scared of taking them, things just got worse. I feel much better now.

My experience when first taking Cit was that I felt good for the first couple of days, then had the shakes and other side effects for the first week. In the second week my anxiety was quite a bit worse, although knowing this was a side effect of the meds made being worse not as horrible as I feared it might be. Suicidal thoughts are quite a long way from actually acting them out, you are not going to kill yourself when you don't want to because of the pills. I was scared that being worse would be unbearable, it wasn't pleasant, but it was manageable because I was expecting it and I knew I just had to hang on in there and it would get better.

The Cit took 4-6 weeks to settle down enough to decide how I was doing on that dose. Only the second week was really hard going.

The has definitely helped me, but the first couple of weeks might be rough so you may wish to consider what timing is best for you.

I have drunk occasional moderate amounts (a couple of pints once or twice a week) on the Cit. My patient information leaflet advises avoiding alcohol. How about reducing the size of your glasses of wine.

Chris

[dozwold]

Hi Chris,
Thanks so much for your answer. Knowing that the side effects are managable is good - I mean, can they be worse then the anxiety/panic/depression that made me finaly go and see the dr for? They must be real bad effects to get near that... Last few weeks i have had teh shakes, night sweats, depression, crying, imnsomia anyway so cant be worse... I have a feeling I should start to take them ASAP as the timing might be ok. I know I am depressed when I am in LA as I have nothing to do in teh daytime, so perhaps if the side effects kick in while on holiday i may be able to handle them better as I will be in my safe holiday place (where I am usually happy). I am more worried that I will be depressed when I get back from hol but that will be in 3 weeks time, so hopefully the side effects will go by then... I just need a small push to pop the first one. 10 years ago I took an Effexor for anxiety on teh dr's recomendation, and 10 hours after it an ambulance had to come as I thought my head was exploding with my first full blown panic attack. been scared of meds ever since, although i must admit valium never did anything bad to me...

[shortstuff]

The side effects are different for everyone, unpleasant but rarely, if ever, serious. You're mainly looking at raised anxiety, sleep disturbance, vivid dreams - that sort of thing. I managed to continue going to work as a teacher throughout. As Chris said, knowing that these symptoms are indeed side effects actually helps you to rationalise things a bit and get through it. It's a relatively short time to get through to get the results you need.

[dozwold]

Thanks guys. I guess all things that you can rationalise and put across due to the drus. My dr gave me some sleep tablets (zolpidem) so i guess if i wake up at 3am i will jsut have to take a pill the next evening so i can sleep properly the night after. would you recomend morning or night time taking of the pill (bear in mind i have a glass of wine nightly - without it i get the shakes and find it had to cope).

[HarrogateChris]

I've always taken my Cit in the morning. Never tried it in the evening but the drug stays in your system longer than 24hrs and in effect over time you build up a level of it in your system.

I would suggest in the morning if you normally drink at night. I say this as it keeps the two as far apart as possible and my experience taking it in the morning has been that I usually feel better later in the day, this might help you moderate the drinking which seems to be something you want to do.

It's a bit of a ride, but it's OK. You can get through it, just remember the side effects are just side effects and will soon pass. :hugs:

Chris

[dozwold]

Hi Chris,

Thanks very much for your comments. I will delay taking my first pill until the morning and just take it then with my breakfast. I do want to cut down the drinking. Im sure if depression and anxiety gets better i wont need too drink or feel like i need an escape so much :) I also need to stop looking at my emails 300 times a day - work stress pushed me over the edge into my latest breakdown, im sure of it... Wish me luck and thanks again...
Dozwold.

[HarrogateChris]

I also need to stop looking at my emails 300 times a day - work stress pushed me over the edge

I've been off since the end of October and I'm down to checking my work email once a day!! :roflmao:

Work is a surrogate parent, I'm just working out that my identity isn't defined by how I please that parent.

Good luck with the Cit, if you get side effects they soon pass :D

Chris

[dozwold]

Hi Chris,

Well i popped my first one this morning and so far all good. Feel a bit light headed but OK. Actually, much of my depression was gone today but I was with some old friends all day long. I took a sleeping pill too in case I get any terrible night side effects. Thank you for your support.
Dozwold

[HarrogateChris]

Pleased you've started, just remember, if you have a bit of a ride the next couple of weeks, it's just your body adjusting to the Cit, it soon passes, you just need to ride it out. It's worth it in the long run. :D

Chris

[dozwold]

Oh boy. Its my 3rd evening on Cit and I was feeling ok the last few days apart from a heavy head, a litlle bit of ringing in my ears and a few itchy feelings on my skin. All not too bad considering I was expecting far worse. In fact felt so good this evening I went back to my old self and actually poured my self a small (for me) celebratory whiskey. I managed to not have had no drinks for 3 days now which is probabaly my longest time without at least 1 glass of wine in 5 years. Only a smallish double shot, but wow i feel I have had 4 or 5 shots. Seems that the either me not drinking for a few days has done this or alcohol on Cit really does take you further :)

I have actually felt ok the last 2 days (depression anxiety wise). maybe the Cit is acting super fast (could it start working in 2-3 days?) or maybe I didnt realise how much damage drinking did to me the next day (which meant I was constantly in a state of hangover/anxious/depressed the next day from non stop alcohol daily (albeit around 2 large wine glasses daily). I dont know, but Im wondering what will I feel like tommorow after tonights whiskey. This is not alot for me at all compared to my usual self, but I guess I wanted to see if anxiety/depression does indeed get worse after a drink the night before, even if it is only a double shot of whiskey. I am also going on holiday over xmas and there will be free wine every night, and I dont wnat to stop drinking completely as I do enjoy the warm fuzzy feeling, especially with a partner and good food. Its enough to actually MAKE you depressed if you think you have to give up one of life's pleasures.
Dozwold

[HarrogateChris]

Still early days, so take things as they come. :D

I think moderation is probably the key word on the drinking. I've enjoyed the occasional social drink whilst I've been on Cit, but I've kept myself very much on the sensible side of having fun if that makes sense.

I suspect it's the recent abstinence that is making things seem more potent rather than the Cit. One thing I noticed early on was not to cut out normal things my body was used to. For a few days when I started on Cit I cut out drinking caffeine and felt terrible as a result. The Cit is already messing with your chemistry, probably best not to make any other drastic changes at the same time.

Not that I know what I'm talking about or have any medical knowledge on which to base this!! :blush:

Chris