View Full Version : Not finding this site any help right now
Over the past few weeks my anxiety has eased up but I've had people try and force me onto anti depressants, tell me to be quiet, bully me into thinking I need a GP, diagnose me...
I'm just a bit baffled..people told me weeks back get a counsellor..which I've done and it's helped a tad but only had two sessions..yes I feel a tad run down each day, like I'm crazy ect..
But I'm not worried I'm "ill" I don't want every test in the world to see if I'm ok..maybe some others can look at my posts and give advice..not sure I should come here if it makes me worry more at this time. :blush:
The only person that can really help yourself is you and the only way you will know in your heart that all this is anxiety related is to calm your head down.
If you feel better for relaxing a bit and not being so hard on yourself, even if its only for a few days, then its something to work on.
Im not concerned about having a serious illness, i just get fed up with feeling crap all the time but on the days when i calm down i do feel a bit better.
Maybe get some books that may help to understand how our bodies react to stress, thats my next goal.
I havent read all your previous threads so i hope im reading you right.
no help ? you have had more help than most we tryed and tryed and no one bully you not on here. hope you get better god bless
Don't forget Phil that Anxiety can make us feel very alone, even if we are surrounded by lots of people. Also, there are many times when it can appear that people do not listen to us or don't really care about the way we are feeling or what we are going through.
Agreed, everyone has their problems and they all have their own way of coping or dealing or tolerating them. Sadly, some are less fortunate in a way that the added stress can make it very hard to deal with whatever issues may come at us. I think that as Anxiety sufferers, we therefore fall into that category.
Their have been times when I have felt like putting a gun to my head, not because I'm nuts but because I can't stand the torture that everday brings anymore. However, I have still found the compassion inside me to post a reply to fellow sufferers on this site and try and offer some advice or guidance whatever. There are days when I have been dependant on this site, and it has certaintly helped me to get through on a lonely night when it seems I am the only one in the world. There have also been times when this site has made me feel somewhat worse, owing to the fact that everyone posts about their problems and therefore it only adds fuel to the misery! This is one of the evils of Anxiety and the way it makes us feel.
I can only sympathise with you Phil and ask you to hangin there. I see you have posted many times, so you must know the old story.
Personally, it is a war to which I have been fighting for over 40 years by myself. I have many deep wounds, scars and have been bleeding inside for all that time. I have been beaten, broken and crushed more times than I care to mention. But I'm dammed if I'm going to stop fighting!
Not quite sure what to say to you Phil. I suppose when you ask for help you run the risk of getting replies you don't like or don't find helpful. I'm not trying to force you onto meds but I would say that it appears there are other things which can help with anxiety which are not ADs - and there are several different types of of AD. Other than that, I guess you just have to stick with the self-help stuff (and I think it's great you are doing that) and the counsellor. Neither of those are going to work overnight, tho. Have a :hugs: in any case
ladybird64
19-12-10, 12:28
Over the past few weeks my anxiety has eased up but I've had people try and force me onto anti depressants, tell me to be quiet, bully me into thinking I need a GP, diagnose me...
I'm just a bit baffled..people told me weeks back get a counsellor..which I've done and it's helped a tad but only had two sessions..yes I feel a tad run down each day, like I'm crazy ect..
But I'm not worried I'm "ill" I don't want every test in the world to see if I'm ok..maybe some others can look at my posts and give advice..not sure I should come here if it makes me worry more at this time. :blush:
I guess at the moment I have less patience than the previous posters so I'll come straight to the point.
What exacly is it you want from people Phil? Pehaps you could be specific and then others can meet your needs.
I have been here a long time, you even longer and I have never seen anyone attempt to bully you or force you into doing anything.
You have posted about depersonalisation, you have been advised. OCD-same Anxiety-same
Advised to see your GP?-You don't want to
CBT?-You did it in the past and it didn't work
Books?- They don't work either
Meds? Nope
People diagnose you, they bully you and force you..not true and unfair to say it.
Anxiety is nasty but it's not ok to turn on others who have given their time trying to help and quite frankly, I'm fed up with seeing Anxiety used as an excuse for rudeness and lack of common courtesy on here.
What I will suggest and I know I have suggested this to you in the past is that you actually see things through, give them time to work. You have a habit of starting things like CBT, changes to your diet, reading anxiety information and then giving them no chance to work.
It won't happen overnight and to expect to feel better after a few sessions without doing much to help yourself is unrealistic.
If you don't find the site is helpful then you need to question what you hope to gain from it..are your expectations unrealistic?
Write down what you expect to gain from being here, support, reassurance, advice..if you're not getting what you want then maybe it's time to have a break and concentrate on more pro-active options.
I honestly can't see why there isn't room for all options but I guess that's down to you and what you decide to do.
harasgenster
19-12-10, 13:03
I'm fed up with seeing Anxiety used as an excuse for rudeness and lack of common courtesy
Here, here.
I agree with Jane here I'm afraid Phil.
I am a bit baffled by you saying the site is no help as when you come on here asking for advice and help, it is pretty certain that some things you will agree with or want to try, and some things you will think 'well I don't think that's for me', and that is what advice is like...you either take it or you don't. It is not fair to criticise just because that advice doesn't match whatever expectation you may have.
People are only trying to help.
I know anxiety is hellish, as do so many others here, and often it makes us project our frustrations about it onto others, but if I were you, I would try not to shoot yourself in the foot here, as people stop listening in the end if you do that enough times.
Try if you can to just take a moment out, even away from the site if you are feeling this way, and question whether this is a frustration borne from the way you yourself are feeling, or REALLY that the site isn't for you.
Anyway, I wish you well.
yvonne_uk_98
19-12-10, 14:11
Hi Phil06,
I have pm you. please answer.
Yvonne
bottleblond
19-12-10, 14:21
I'm really sorry you feel that way Phil.
I'm also sorry for the copious amounts of people who have tried to help and advise you on a daily basis.
If at any stage you felt bullied, you should have contacted an admin and we could have looked into it for you but all i have saw on your threads/posts is help and support.
I hope things improve for you soon.
Lisa
hello phil, ive been reading peoples posts on here, in the short term they are right. BUT!. like myself i was looking through google to try and diagnose myself everytime i had an episode of something new. if my symptoms were true what i read about i should of been dead with bowel cancer, brain tumor, AIDS, lymphoma,....... ect. im 23 years old and been in a bad place of late. my doctor knows all about my life and even lived it with me for a few weeks while i was younger. (family friend). a little about me just to ease you pains. while i was 14 i was being chased by every pro football team in the country, liverpool, arseanal, ect ect. i ended up at lincolon city hahaha. anyway 2 years there and got bombed off to bristol rovers. didnt like it there so i went to s****horpe united for 2 years but quit my dream before my second year. something i have later regreted. as now i could be on £20,000 a week instead i stick for £500 a week lol funny hey. after that i had a little boy on the way. fighting everyweek, police records, drugs, more fighting, and more court apperences. i lost the plot. it only hit me that it was catching up with me untill i was 21. 2 years now im anti drug anti voilence, and all for my little family and work. ive been ill for 2 years ive had a cbc blood test. all fine. ive got a camera down my throat next week just before crimbo. but no dought all will be fine. long story short. think back to your past as my councilor has told me. talk about it. you may be a saint but there will be something thats made you ill. not something pysical but mental. im all for asking people but everyone of these lads and girls have been through it on there own. we all do. dont go on meds as they worsen it for atleast 2 months. it will soon pass im getting great days now so i know im nearly there, its just the weeks on end that hurt lol. take care mate. scotty
Well I must say I was quite annoyed to read this as I have replied to your posts many times as you know.
I think you do need to put things into perspective Phil as this site will never cure you - that must come from within yourself. I agree with a lot of what other members have said, especially not giving yourself enough time to see certain things through. I know it must be very frustrating but you will never recover over-night and it takes a lot of time and hard work with certain therapies. A rolling stone gathers no moss as they say...
I too don't know what you're expecting from the forum a lot of the time. Reassurance is not the same as fact and personally I think we need a kick up the backside sometimes to motivate us into doing something positive, instead of wallowing in an orgy of self-pity.
Take a break and assess what you want to do but please remember that the people giving advice and posting on your threads invariably have their own issues to contend with.
All the best anyway.
eternally optimistic
19-12-10, 15:04
Hi Phil,
I do not think anyone would intentionally mean to upset or alarm you with their replies.
This site is a wonderful place to visit, and for me at the moment, is keeping vagulely sane.
If the site is not fulfilling your expectations then a "break" from here may do you good.
Sometimes, we all need that to reassess where we are in life.
Have you been to seen your GP. I am sure they could help.
ditto, i did not mean to upset you either, im just saying that we all have been or are going through this aswell. not a nice thing to be honest but our personalities keep us from our state of mind for a short while, while we help each other. im sure one day you will pass your comments on to another. hang in there boss
paula lynne
19-12-10, 15:52
Nobody here can fix you, only you can do that Phil. The power is in you!
You remind me of another member, lots of posts, but I dont see you helping anyone else. Helping others has been instrimental in many members recoveries. Ultimately, we are not doctors, and maybe you should be addressing all these problems to your gp?
Im sorry you feel like this, do you think youve recovered in any way since you joined, or does this forum compund your problems? If so, maybe it is time to leave, as its clearly not helping you at all. I wish you well x
Nobody here can fix you, only you can do that Phil. The power is in you!
You remind me of another member, lots of posts, but I dont see you helping anyone else. Helping others has been instrimental in many members recoveries.
I agree Paula.
I have to say that answering other members queries or worries has helped me so much to get to the better stage I am at now. I think because psychologically it removes you from your own worries. Also just seeing other peoples problems and recognising them in myself makes me feel less alone.
But the thing is, you have to find what works for you on this site and what doesn't and make the best from it on a personal basis, and if you find it exacerabates your insecurities and makes you feel worse then that is something you need to address yourself and no well meaning folk here can make that better for you hun.:shrug:
Listen, everyone, I think for a post by one person, people are kind of getting together and victimising him here a bit. I agree that was the wrong thing to say completely Phil, but I don't think things come out right when your feeling down, so please everyone, can you cut him abit of slack because this is NOT going to make him feel any better.
Its not fair if we all gang up on him on this one thread because of one thing he said. He could be in a fragile state for all we know. Sorry to throw in the pepper bombs.
Listen, everyone, I think for a post by one person, people are kind of getting together and victimising him here a bit. I agree that was the wrong thing to say completely Phil, but I don't think things come out right when your feeling down, so please everyone, can you cut him abit of slack because this is NOT going to make him feel any better.
Its not fair if we all gang up on him on this one thread because of one thing he said. He could be in a fragile state for all we know. Sorry to throw in the pepper bombs.
I think you will find that most of us HAVE been understanding and stated (well I did I know) that anxiety makes us say things out of left field so I don't find your post justified Pancho....sorry. Of course it is going to seem like a gang up to certain people who view it as such.
In fact, I don't really understand why people always post comments like yours that inflame a thread into something it is not. People are now bound to react negatively to what you have just said and change the whole focus of the thread which is trying to assist Phil.
Listen, everyone, I think for a post by one person, people are kind of getting together and victimising him here a bit. I agree that was the wrong thing to say completely Phil, but I don't think things come out right when your feeling down, so please everyone, can you cut him abit of slack because this is NOT going to make him feel any better.
Its not fair if we all gang up on him on this one thread because of one thing he said. He could be in a fragile state for all we know. Sorry to throw in the pepper bombs.
Nope, that's a fair comment Pancho. I think it's frustrating for both sides: Phil wants to get better and people want to help, and it's also easy to misconstrue what people say, especially when we're feeling rubbish.
I wouldn't want Phil to think that this changes anything. If he needed support in any way I'd still offer it, regardless of whether he chooses to accept/act on what I've said. After all, I'm not always right and he could completely disagree with me, which I'm always willing to accept.
I do appreciate what you've written though and don't want anyone to feel "victimised" here, even though I don't feel he has.
thanks melancholia.
I think you will find that most of us HAVE been understanding and stated (well I did I know) that anxiety makes us say things out of left field so I don't find your post justified Pancho....sorry. Of course it is going to seem like a gang up to certain people who view it as such.
In fact, I don't really understand why people always post comments like yours that inflame a thread into something it is not. People are now bound to react negatively to what you have just said and change the whole focus of the thread which is trying to assist Phil.
debs, my point is that lots and lots of people have made the same point on this thread that perhaps only a couple of people needed to say to get the point accross. I am not trying to inflame anything. i just don't want anyone to get upset :(
Phil,
I am one of those who has tried to advise you in the past, but you don't seem able to move forward at all. I'm not sure why - whether your anxiety is that severe, you're not able to or for another reason.
You are letting anxiety run your life instead of controlling your anxiety yourself. It's easy to let that happen. It takes a braver - not stronger - person to gain back that control. I know you desperately want to and there are many ways to help you do that. You need to try as many as you can and realise that none of them will help you cure your anxiety overnight.
I hope you can move forward soon. It's a shame to see you down every time you're in Chat. We do want to help but you must want to be helped as well. Try looking at your life more positively. It's not always as dire as it seems.
Best wishes, and Merry Christmas.
Take care Phil, and take it easy for a few days. You have more advice here than you may want to read.
Anyway, we are all in the same boat at times. You are ok...
Going home
19-12-10, 19:32
Pancho, although I understand your point, you've got to realise that all of the people who have reacted to what Phil has said are the people who have tried to help him so many times (and ive just had a reply from him to a PM I sent yesterday with no acknowledgment that I was offering help, just negative comments in his reply) so its natural for them to feel hurt by his comments and it just goes to show how many people have tried to help him. Its not ganging up on him.
People can be anxious or depressed and still be polite, good manners cost nothing and he must have known when writing what he did he would get a negative reaction...he's been here long enough. I really don't know how he came to this conclusion...perhaps if he didn't create so many different threads he wouldn't be so overwhelmed by all the different responses, but at the end of the day, people are trying to help him and to say what he has said is like a slap in the face. So please understand this too.
Anna x
A couple of quick points :
1) People have SUGGESTED you see your GP, as that is who will give you more help than a forum or chat room.
2) NOBODY has tried to force you take AD's ??? it has been suggested you try SSRI's like citalopram, which help a lot of people with anxiety, myself included, but for some reason you 'don't want' to try meds, you would rather go round in circles not getting any better
3) Being totally honest, you need to learn some common courtesy - you come into chat, ask the same questions every day, ignore peoples answers, want to be the centre of attention, then leave if people dont all pander to you.
Your main problem is you want a magic cure that involves no effort, sorry to say this, but YOU need to get off your backside and help yourself - hoping you will magically get better hasnt worked, the first step has to be made by you.
You WILL get better, but only once you get a grip and face up to yourself, this may sound harsh, but you have been the same for months now with no improvement, and it is very frustrating to see someone like that when there are things they can do ( which have been suggested over and over ) but they wont help themselves.
First off all I was not expecting three pages of a response. So I regret posting it as it was not my intention to have a string of replies from people who I have offended that may have helped.
I'll be honest and say it's not an overnight thing I have been on here 4 years. Right now over the last 3 months atleast the advice/comments things I seen going on in the chat made me decide this site is making me feel worse.
I have explained why I am very hesitant to go on anti depresseants never shoved anybody's advice away the last time I was at the doctor they said there's only one I could try and other doctors won't issue any. Reason was I had a manic episode a few years ago so by taking them it's a slight risk of hitting mania due to the anti d's. Don't want that as I'm over that for now. So yes if it comes to worst case I would consider but I'd rather look at every alternative for now.
I'm very personal with my anxiety..in the real world I need to be around people without it..it pushes me on, the fact I can hide helps me as people make a fuss if they knew. So yes at times reading some things here can make me worse. Sometimes I feel very anxious and need to come here but I will now look at other alternatives. There's been a few members who have really helped and I'm very grateful for them helping particularly the ones who use to write a long reply and balanced.
So for personal reasons I am taking a break from here (whether it be a day or two or a week or month or longer)..as I don't feel it's helping..I will continue my counselling, I'll keep up the work. I'm quite disappointed to post this so please ease off the replies..no PM's I'll maybe answer one or two but that's all. As I said I'm not meaning to make a fuss bottom line is others suffering is not helping me right now. But I'm not going to kick up a fuss I'm sure many get the help they need here so I won't be complaining to anybody.
Anyway I may be back at some point but I'll leave it there for now. Thanks.
I truly wish you luck Phil.
I hope you are able to find some peace of mind.
I think the question is: what do you expect to hear from people on here?
Not:
"Call an ambulance"
"Call NHS 24"
"Get an energy appointment and not one you want one week for"
"Get a blood test"
"Get a brain scan"
"Go on xx tablets because they are good"
I realised for some chronic anxiety sufferers they "have" to do that for reassurance but my worry is a bit more educed I know about anxiety so try not to over react. Course in some cases you have to but that sort of over reaction is very discomforting for me during panics.
Now it's a minority of posts but they make me more concerned. A point I want to make is they use to link old threads to new posts and say you had xx symptom and they would link about 3. I use to find that very reassuring.
A few others picked up on the point posting many threads is getting mixed advice. I tend to agree..the advice I want or the goal for me has always been have a life, not need to come here 24/7. Just like I don't want to be hypochondriac at the doctors every week.
It's 50/50 to weather a thread helps here now. So my choice is to stay away for a bit and I'd prefer this thread was locked..I don't want a mountain of replies and people having a go at me...in the last three months:
*I paid for counselling at £35 as the NHS wait is too long.
*Paid £15 for CBT for dummies recommended on here.
*Exercised more, did more healthy eating.
*Downloaded chill medication tapes and used them as a tool.
So I don't be told I have done nothing..the months before I was never away from the doctors worrying..so I took action.
Anyway I don't need to explain myself. Please leave it at that.
Don't get upset Phil. I didn't realise that part of the problem was advice you'd been receiving in chat, as I don't go in there.
I wish you all the best mate - do what's right for you.
I would just like to wish you All the Very best Phil .Try to keep using the Meditation Tapes and Keep positive . Have a Happy Christmas and Healthy New year . luv Sue x
Well Phil - that is really really good! Keep at it, and best of luck. I really didn't mean to sound harsh - and it sounds like you've put lots of excellent strategies in place. You'll get there, one step at a time. Hopefully we'll see you back here at some point in a much better place. :hugs:
Dahlia
Thanks..I'm just feeling very low as it's Christmas time..been battling on since May feeling I can't take this anxiety and just wish it would go away for xmas.
And yep I've had many good days but some days I feel rotten again. On a positive I managed to work two shifts this weekend...
My mind doesn't feel in the right place or in control hence why I fear going mad..but maybe its the added pressure of xmas and the weather..
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.