Cancer Specialist tomorrow :-(

[crazyhayz]

at 9:20am, probable Biopsy of enlarged nodes in Groin, and Neck... hopefully they test n comes back all-clear. Dreading it. Im 23 and have a 2 year old :( Plus all my neurological symptoms that im seeing a Neuro for on 2nd Februaery... its just never ending for me!! Wish me luck people x

[Mogwog]

Good luck

I bet it will be fine.

Laura.xxxxx

[elainey70]

Good luck, hope all goes well. x

[crazyhayz]

Hi all, lil update.

I had my appt today. the cancer specialist had a feel around and said that he wasnt 'overly worried' due to the size of them (they are under 2cm) each enlarged node, so hes guna send me for another ultrasound (had one 3 months ago) to see whether theyve got bigger or their 'structure' has changed.

My bloods again have come back totally normal which is good.

Ive got the ultrasound next wednesday, then im going back to see them in 1 months time for a review.

The consultant said they are 'quite firm' however, which is why he wants to test further. they were guna Surgically Biopsy but the consultant said that it could leave me with a permenently swollen leg and nerve damage so he said he wasnt that keen on doing this. he refused to do needle biopsy coz he said the results often come back as Inconclusive because the cells arent yet cancerous and they say on the reports 'cannot excluse lymphoma' so he didnt see the point.. so they basically said that the nodes in the neck and groin need to be watched carefully and then they'll see me back in a month with my ultrasound results n take it from there.

So another waiting game lol. But i feel ok, i actrually dont feel anxious at all about the nodes, im starting to be much more positive these past few days and telling myself that even if i have anything wrong, theres nuffin i can do, its obv the design for my life and i just have to accept whatever is thrown at me from now on.

Guna get back in touch with my therapist after xmas and ask to be given more CBT again, but this time base it JUST on Health Anxiety, because thats all i am anxious about, i dont have social anxiety or anything like that, no phobias, mines all health based, and a bit of general ajnxiety like 'what if someone breaks in my house in the night sort of thing lol!

Well, ive got my friends funeral tmorow, he died a couple of weeks ago, got hit by a car blessim :( so im guna try and stay positive for him and keep smiling. xx

Just thought id update u all rly, sorry to ramble lol xxx

much love xx

[Diva]

Well done you!

I so admire you for being rational and positive - just like a normal person!!!

I wish I could take a leaf out of your book.

Hope all is not too bad at the funeral - makes you think doesn't it, that we could all get hit by that bus tomorrow so why do we spend all our time worrying about things we probably don't have!

with love xx

[Ella_Jayne]

You sound like you're really addressing things CrazyHayz! Well done you hun!
Sorry to hear about your friend, it's terrible when someone dies so suddenly, but it goes to show that life should be lived to the full, because we never know when our time is up! Your attitude is admirable. Keep it up.

xxx :)

[crazyhayz]

Thanks guys x Im definitely feeling much better these last few days, i go thru days wherre i feel like im cracking up or breaking down again like i did in march, but ive gotta keep telling myself im ok and if i was really ill then i wouldnt have days whewre i feel fine then all of sudden have loadsa symptoms ...i need to accept its anxiety n nuthin more. its funny coz whenever i get this positive attitude and feelings of happiness, i start to feel so much better, i.e symptoms almost completely go! faint lightheadedness is always about but i think its prob my worrying about not worrying haha, silly i know!! but ya therapist said alot of ppl do that :) when they get better they have little relapses where they start to worry that their not worrying/panicking/or being anxious!!! crazzyyy!!! But thanks again guys, il of cors keep u up2date with my ultrasound next week. much love pals!!xxxx

[Mogwog]

Hi Chick

Your appt sounds like it went well.

I wish I could see things the way you do. I am worrying about a largish soft lumpy bit in my collarbone which I am CONVINCED is cancer:weep: I've never been so scared in all my life.

You sound so close to beating this damn HA.

Let us know how your ultrasound goes.

Laura.xxxxx

[gypsywomen]

good luck hope everything fine xx

[bronte]

good luck hope everything goes your way and you can put it all behind you xx

[crazyhayz]

thank u guys xxxxx