retired santa seeks.......

[mick_uk]

Retired father christmas, own sleigh, freezer full of reindeer, seeks
women to jingle his bells through the winter.
Hobbies are sitting at the computer typing out wanted ads, crocheting tea cozies,
and making little origami figures in the shape of ex BBC newreaders.
Must have good sense of humour, a well thumbed book of the kama sutra and an IQ higher than their shoe size (negotiable)
Please send email address, photo, a cheque for £250, and a recent DNA test certificate.
If you can't meet the above requirements, proof of a pulse will be be enough.
Please write soon as my medication is being stopped after christmas.
Mick
x
PS: Trucker Jim, you are excluded from replying to this, and please stop
the late night phone calls.

[Magic]

Dear Mick, You just cheer me up no end. Wish I could be of service, Having a hard time at moment,but hopefully get over it.as well as that my landline phone is out of order.not that we have many phone calls.I have a mobile tho. Bin up all night with dog who is older than me. I have put my nmp on while deciding which job to tackle first and saw your post and a feel calmer now. I wish we had more people on nmp like you.
I can't understand why my landline phone is out of order cos my internet is conected and computer worrks!!!!!
Bye for now
Take care

[Vanilla Sky]

LMAO :roflmao::roflmao:

[debs71]

Hello Mick....

Blimey, how nice that you share the same hobbies with moi....

Exhibit 1 - Well, it is Xmas so I pushed the boat out with this one....http://www.anony.ws/i/1292940104.jpg


....and Exhibit 2 - this is my latest origami creation in the image of Angela Rippon...
http://www.anony.ws/i/1292940237.jpg


(Your posts are great MickX)

[Going home]

Good to see you again Mick...and if i wasn't already living with a crazy person...though he would of course say its the other way around...I would've indeed answered your ad and requested an interview :D

Anna x

[baileys]

I cant find me pulse so i will have to pass up this offer!

[bottleblond]

Mick

Be still me beating heart and my irregular pulse.

http://rlv.zcache.com/valentines_be_mine_mousepad-p1441900522872452987pdd_325.jpg

Ps.

Remember to put the bins out and give Rudolph his flea treatment please.

pps.

Can you nip out to the elf licence and pick me up my usual tonic? my shebutt is full of hemorrohroids again. :mad: You will insist i sit on that cold sleigh of an evening.

ppps

Can you please stop eating as many pies, you are letting off the most lethal radiation in your sleep and poor tiddles has taken to sleeping beside Trevor the trumper just to get some fresh air.

Goodnight poppet, see ya in the morning with your usual 'well flamed kippers, poached eggs with toasted reindeer dropping on rye

xxx

[mick_uk]

And you lot think I'm mad !
:roflmao:

ps: Christmas offer: Two days only: don't want to seem desperate but even the pulse is not compulsory now

[bottleblond]

:winks:

[mick_uk]

and by the way trucker Jim, sending me those photos is not going to change my mind (not unless i get a better offer anyway)

[debs71]

And you lot think I'm mad !
:roflmao:

ps: Christmas offer: Two days only: don't want to seem desperate but even the pulse is not compulsory now



LOL!!!!:D

[ditzygirl]

when a pulse is not compulsory you are in real trouble lol
:roflmao:

[KK77]

Hi Santa

Broad shoulders and hairy chest but can put on a female voice and wear a skirt if required.

Please consider after you've had a few.

Nancy Dawson

[mick_uk]

Nancy :blush:

(you think I'm joking...I'm getting desperate now)

[KK77]

Sorry, Nancy was sold on Ebay earlier to the highest bidder (£9.99 + £2.99 postage).

I have a rather flat Judy up for grabs though :shrug:

http://www.pointsincase.com/images/blowup_doll.jpg

[bottleblond]

My what a big mouth she has grandma!! :shrug:

[mick_uk]

Be serious now :lac:

[suzy-sue]

You were a beautiful baby mick ...:ohmy:

[mick_uk]

then it all went wrong sue :D

[suzy-sue]

Wing nuts Mick; thats the problem ...:roflmao:

[debs71]

Hmm....wing nuts....

...is that a medical condition?

Sounds painful.:wacko:

[mick_uk]

You can be so cruel sometimes :roflmao:

[debs71]

I couldn't resist that joke Mick, sorry.:D

Bit of a 'Carry on..' joke I know....Ooh Matron....!!

[mick_uk]

made me laugh :D

[KK77]

Got to Mick or you'd cry with luck like this :D

[mick_uk]

:roflmao:
I'm just thinking, next year can't be as bad as this year.....can it? :shrug:

[KK77]

Well look on the bright side: it can't get any worse :roflmao:

[mick_uk]

True :emot-partyblower:

[suzy-sue]

Never say never ..:lac::mad:

[Going home]

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRkx-Lyji1RkGiWTX2XbDLynWGBtpQ6s6L6kfzs02PRTmKEWCso0w

...ive only just sussed out how to do this but this one is just for you Mick,

Merry Chrimbo
Anna x

[mick_uk]

awww thnx Anna :bighug1:
merry crimbo to you too x

and a merry christmas to everyone else who takes the time to post on my silly threads :)
xxxx

[debs71]

Well Thanks for posting them Mick.

They brighten my day and many others too. It is nice to have just a silly laugh sometimes isn't it?

Merry Christmas hun.xxx:hugs:

[mick_uk]

:D
stops me going mad (madder)

Merry Christmas Debs xxx

[debs71]

Yeh, me too Mick...keeps me sane (well as sane as I can be, lol):D

All the best Mick.xxx