sws1210
21-12-10, 22:40
Hi everyone, I've been getting cold sores about every 3 months for the past two years, but I recently became pregnant and got a cold sore and it has made me crazy! I am so paranoid about transmitting the cold sore to my hands or elsewhere on the body. I've never had genital herpes (only tested positive for HSV 1 which has shown up as cold sores on my lips) but I am convinced that if I am not careful I will spread it to my fingers or my genital area. I feel like it's bound to happen. And then it would be unmanageable. If I got it on my fingers, how would I function?? Surely I would end up passing it somewhere else. How would I take care of my baby?? I've read about babies dying from the herpes virus. I am so paranoid about this that it's all I can think about. It's ruining my life. I can't focus on anything else or enjoy doing anything else because I am so preoccupied with this. I'm afraid that even once the cold sore is gone I am still at risk because of asymptomatic shedding, which I read can still be contagious. I feel like there will never be any reprieve for me. I will always be at risk. And if I let my guard down I will for sure pass it to other parts of my body. So I continue to be super cautious and I wash my hands a million times a day to the point where they're really dry and sore, and yet I still feel like they are "contaminated". Instead of enjoying my pregnancy and staying calm and relaxed, I am consumed by worrying about this. I am so worried that the anxiety will be even worse after I have my baby. Instead of enjoying my newborn and forming a bond with him/her, I'm afraid that I will just be paranoid about the baby getting a cold sore from me (as I am sure I will get one after the delivery). This is making me really depressed. I feel like prisoner in my own body. I feel like a leper to myself and others. Christmas is coming up and I'm not even looking forward to it. I just feel drained and exhausted from always worrying and feeling paranoid and having to be super careful all the time. I am so jealous of people who don't have to deal with this. I don't know what to do.