Wildmage
23-12-10, 13:06
I have recently started having panic attacks and lots of anxiety, due to a lot of stress and worry I have been under.
I received my visa, after waiting for three years, to live in Nova Scotia Canada, which is something I have wanted to do and has been a dream for ten years or or more. All during the application process I was fine, I still had a lot of doubts and nerves, but I was so sure I wanted to do this, however when I received the visa back in March this year I started to feel really depressed and anxious. I started getting really depressed about the prospect of leaving my family, even though I am 37 years old and live on my own now, I don't live that far from family. I am finding moving so far from my parents very overwhelming and nerve wracking and it is making me very anxious. In August this year, I actually got to two weeks before moving out there and ended up having a massive panic attack at work, in front of one of the consultants, which was embarrassing and scared me silly, as I had never felt this way before and I did not know why or what was happening, I felt like I was going crazy with all the "what ifs" and "oh my god", type thoughts. This culminated in me asking for my job back and then with all the stress going off sick from work for several weeks, with anxiety and depression. I obviously pulled this back and got back on my feet, but felt like I made a mistake in not going to Canada and started looking into doing this again, but knew I needed to get over the anxiety attacks first, as there was no way I could do it in the state I was in.
Since this time I have had lots of anxiety, although not as bad as before. Last month I decided to start looking into going again, which, once again has brought on a lot of anxiety feelings, and "what if" and "oh my god" thoughts again, especially in the mornings when I first wake up, I cannot stop worrying about things, i.e. what if I give up my home, job and family and I don't like it or the people over there don't like me etc. I am still looking at going to Canada in the New Year, but every time I think about leaving my family I get really scared and all the thoughts just keep going round and round in my head driving me insane and I feel like I am never going to be able to do this. I have so many doubts and anxieties about moving away, even though I do have friends in Nova Scotia who will let me stay with them for six months until I decide if I am staying. My family mean so much to me, but I do not have anything else holding me back, no husband or kids etc so why am I finding it so hard to move away from parents, I know it is a fantastic opportunity and that I won't get this chance again and I keep telling myself this, but I still have loads of fears and doubts and still get really anxious.
I have read Paul's "at last a life" from cover to cover and know I am supposed to face my fears "feel the fear and do it anyway" etc, but this is such a big thing to do. I do not know if I am brave enough....
Thanks
Wildmage
I received my visa, after waiting for three years, to live in Nova Scotia Canada, which is something I have wanted to do and has been a dream for ten years or or more. All during the application process I was fine, I still had a lot of doubts and nerves, but I was so sure I wanted to do this, however when I received the visa back in March this year I started to feel really depressed and anxious. I started getting really depressed about the prospect of leaving my family, even though I am 37 years old and live on my own now, I don't live that far from family. I am finding moving so far from my parents very overwhelming and nerve wracking and it is making me very anxious. In August this year, I actually got to two weeks before moving out there and ended up having a massive panic attack at work, in front of one of the consultants, which was embarrassing and scared me silly, as I had never felt this way before and I did not know why or what was happening, I felt like I was going crazy with all the "what ifs" and "oh my god", type thoughts. This culminated in me asking for my job back and then with all the stress going off sick from work for several weeks, with anxiety and depression. I obviously pulled this back and got back on my feet, but felt like I made a mistake in not going to Canada and started looking into doing this again, but knew I needed to get over the anxiety attacks first, as there was no way I could do it in the state I was in.
Since this time I have had lots of anxiety, although not as bad as before. Last month I decided to start looking into going again, which, once again has brought on a lot of anxiety feelings, and "what if" and "oh my god" thoughts again, especially in the mornings when I first wake up, I cannot stop worrying about things, i.e. what if I give up my home, job and family and I don't like it or the people over there don't like me etc. I am still looking at going to Canada in the New Year, but every time I think about leaving my family I get really scared and all the thoughts just keep going round and round in my head driving me insane and I feel like I am never going to be able to do this. I have so many doubts and anxieties about moving away, even though I do have friends in Nova Scotia who will let me stay with them for six months until I decide if I am staying. My family mean so much to me, but I do not have anything else holding me back, no husband or kids etc so why am I finding it so hard to move away from parents, I know it is a fantastic opportunity and that I won't get this chance again and I keep telling myself this, but I still have loads of fears and doubts and still get really anxious.
I have read Paul's "at last a life" from cover to cover and know I am supposed to face my fears "feel the fear and do it anyway" etc, but this is such a big thing to do. I do not know if I am brave enough....
Thanks
Wildmage