Missing someone

[daisycake]

I'm going to sound silly but I had a GP I was very very close to before I went to uni, she was the first person I had ever spoken to properly (other than my mum)about lots of things, I used to speak to her every 4 weeks from the age of 15.. I went to see her over summer this year, when I was at home from uni, and on going back to uni in September she said to come see her over christmas. But everyone says not to - that this will only set me back, that I'll end up upset over not seeing her again.. I feel so stupid because it's not as if I'm on my own, I have my mum, my GP in uni, and obviously friends, but it still hurts. I had to go to my chemist this morning to pick pup tablets, chemist is right next to surgery and her car was in the car park and all I could think was "I wish it was you that was helping me still..." . It's not like I CAN'T see her but to do so would be going against everyone's advice and she's not always the most helpful of people either - but aah I don't know what to think .. Just been a bit tearful over it all day, it's horrible missing people. My mum has an appointment with her early next week and says I can come into the waiting room wih her and say hi when doc comes through but that's not the same is it? And I can't reassure myself like I used to, I can't fully trust my new doctor, can't stop doing the what if game - and I never used to worry at all about my heart but suddenly it's ALL I can think about.

I wish things had never changed - when I was sixteen/seventeen I had loads of people who I could rely on for help and feel a bit lost now that it's all gone. I sound a bit stupid, I'm sorry but I could do with a hug, I'm fighting back tears and trying hard to laugh at the TV but it's getting difficult.

[daisycake]

What am I doing, crying on Christmas Eve lol.. :lac:

[gaaron]

daisycake, you're not being stupid or silly, christmas for some reason we've made ourselves think it's special, and so we feel more emotional when things aren't right. I can give you :hugs:and I'll say do what your inner self thinks is right. xxx

[Groundhog]

come here you softy....:hugs:
If she said go and see her then why not. Doctors are professionals and don’t make throw away remarks like that unless they mean them.

[Genie]

I'm feeling sad too, so sending you a hug and the thought that you are not alone right now:bighug1:
Last week, my gastroenterologist retired. He was the best doctor I had ever seen - he let all his patients talk for as long as they needed, about anything. When I went to see him last week, I gave him a card and felt really awkward (told him not to open it until I left), because I wanted him to know how amazing he had been. What you're feeling is entirely normal - you found a special person you could connect with. My gastro e-mailed me to thank me for the card and encouraged me to keep in touch, and I will. Groundhog is right - if she said see her, then see her. I am sure she will appreciate the fact that she has been so valuable to you.

Hope you can have a good day today.:hugs: