daisycake
24-12-10, 23:33
I'm going to sound silly but I had a GP I was very very close to before I went to uni, she was the first person I had ever spoken to properly (other than my mum)about lots of things, I used to speak to her every 4 weeks from the age of 15.. I went to see her over summer this year, when I was at home from uni, and on going back to uni in September she said to come see her over christmas. But everyone says not to - that this will only set me back, that I'll end up upset over not seeing her again.. I feel so stupid because it's not as if I'm on my own, I have my mum, my GP in uni, and obviously friends, but it still hurts. I had to go to my chemist this morning to pick pup tablets, chemist is right next to surgery and her car was in the car park and all I could think was "I wish it was you that was helping me still..." . It's not like I CAN'T see her but to do so would be going against everyone's advice and she's not always the most helpful of people either - but aah I don't know what to think .. Just been a bit tearful over it all day, it's horrible missing people. My mum has an appointment with her early next week and says I can come into the waiting room wih her and say hi when doc comes through but that's not the same is it? And I can't reassure myself like I used to, I can't fully trust my new doctor, can't stop doing the what if game - and I never used to worry at all about my heart but suddenly it's ALL I can think about.
I wish things had never changed - when I was sixteen/seventeen I had loads of people who I could rely on for help and feel a bit lost now that it's all gone. I sound a bit stupid, I'm sorry but I could do with a hug, I'm fighting back tears and trying hard to laugh at the TV but it's getting difficult.
I wish things had never changed - when I was sixteen/seventeen I had loads of people who I could rely on for help and feel a bit lost now that it's all gone. I sound a bit stupid, I'm sorry but I could do with a hug, I'm fighting back tears and trying hard to laugh at the TV but it's getting difficult.