New to medication and feeling very scared.

[AnotherNewYear]

Hi all

I have been reading lots of information on here this morning about the side effect of CIT and how every one else is doing on them. I have suffered PA for 20 yrs since the birth of my first son. At times I haven't been able to get out of the house for weeks at a time / been sick off work for many months ...and they even went away for 4 years on their own accord. How ever they have now been back for 4 years and I have been managing them with wine. One sip/glass - always helps me to calm down and battle on for another day. A month ago a bottle of wine didn't make me feel better - and nor did the second bottle.

I went to see the Dr the next day and on Boxing day (didn't want to start over Xmas) took my first 20mg's of CIT. I am petrified of taking medication (my PA's are health related)

I am feeling very anxious about the side effects I think I might be having or might be getting over the next days/weeks. Is it to soon for the real side effects? Is what I am feeling all my head because I am feeling so anxious??:

Fuzzy head - keep staring off into space

Funny taste in my mouth

Slight ringing in my ears

Need to go loo a lot!!

Disturbed sleep (have ALWAYS slept well)


I am sending myself into such a panic ... Luckily I am off work till 4th Jan but I am already worrying that I will be too bad to go in!

[HarrogateChris]

The first couple of weeks on Cit can be hard going, but hang in there. We're all different and have slightly different experiences. Cit has been a fantastic help for me and I would definitely go through the experience everytime without hesitation if it got me back to where I am now.

Knowing that it is just the side effects of the meds and it will soon pass really helps coping with it.

Chris

[happycamper]

Hey AnotherNewYear,

Please don't panic about citalopram. I too was scared to take them initially, had them nearly 3 weeks hidden away before plucking up the courage.

Side effects vary between people, some aren't overly pleasant, but the nausea was no worse than being pregnant, tiredness same as doing night shifts, headaches a bit like having a hangover, but they do improve...I've been on cit for 6 months now and the only thing I get is feeling more tired than normal, but anxiety at it's worst made me feel tireder.

Go with the flow, also you might consider taking only 10mg for the first week or two if your side effects are troublesome. X

[ash1807]

As Chris said, the first couple of weeks can be hard, with all the symptoms you describe. They do settle down. For me Cit had been godsent.

Just hang in there.

ash

[AnotherNewYear]

I am so tired of PA's - I feel like giving up the fight !!! I hope these tablets work.

[HarrogateChris]

I am so tired of PA's - I feel like giving up the fight !!! I hope these tablets work.

Just remember, no matter how tired you are, if you can just keep taking the tiniest steps you will get there. The pills work, they just take a little while, but you can do it. A few days is nothing compared with the years you've struggled.

:hugs:

Chris

[happycamper]

Give them a chance, they really have worked for me, no debilitating anxiety and panic like I was having, since starting them in June. It's as if the cit gives me a shield from them.

Also I haven't had to have any time off work, albeit I am only part time. But I know everyone is different, work was never one of my difficulties fortunately.

There's loads of support on this forum too.

Clare X

[katiebean]

Hiya,
I took Cit for 7 years and felt a massive improvement. 5 weeks ago I had to start taking them again and suffered from side effects for the first two weeks. During the first two weeks my anxiety increased massively, I was nauseous, dry mouth, tingling down the arms, very shaky and dizzy and jolting awake. Pretty soon after the two weeks the side effects decreased dramatically. I reassured myself that they do work, I have experience of this before, I made major life changes once I was settled on them last time, moved twice, bought my first house, retrained and started my own business.
You need to stick with it because they really do help once your stabalised. Reassure yourself that side effects are only temporary, and they do subside.....it says it on the leaflet inside the box.
Look forward, and just accept that it WILL get better, just give it time.

[AnotherNewYear]

Thank you all very much for your words of wisdom!! It seems the more i read on here the more I realize I properly have Panic Disorder rather then PA's. I have spend pretty much 20 years fighting them - making myself drive the kids to school, making myself have a social life, making myself go to work - I am actually ok at work these days it is the getting to work that is the problem lol - I leave for work at 7am just so I dont have to sit in any extra traffic but don't start work till 9am and the journey is only 15 minutes!!

My whole life is fitted around these attacks - they dictate my (and my families to a certain extent) life and I am sick of it. I have done well 'sort of controlling them' i think ...but I am very tired and miserable that they have taken away so much of my life.

[katiebean]

I know how you feel about being sick of it. The trick is to not fight it but accept it. The symptoms subside easier once you try not to fight them. I know how hard it is. I can reassure you that once the medication is stabalised the panic disorder (what I was diagnosed with) no longer rules your life.

[AnotherNewYear]

I know you are right about excepting them. It is like fight or flight and i always choose to fight ..I have never allowed one to wash over me with out trying to fight it - dunno if my fight instinct is too strong or the lack of control to be brave enough not to fight is more scary then the attack it's self.

[AnotherNewYear]

*accepting

[HarrogateChris]

My whole life is fitted around these attacks - they dictate my (and my families to a certain extent) life and I am sick of it. I have done well 'sort of controlling them' i think ...but I am very tired and miserable that they have taken away so much of my life.

There is a pretty good possibility that the cit could stop them completely or make them something far less significant to you. That's got to be worth a couple of weeks to try out :yesyes:

The other thing you could try is working on changing your relationship to these feelings and emotions. It's easy to say but hard to do, but they are only thoughts and emotions, not necessarily reality. I'm going to have to start sticking money in a swear box if I mention mindfulness (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showpost.php?p=771591&postcount=77) again, I've turned into a fanatic! :roflmao:

:hugs:

Chris

[HarrogateChris]

I have never allowed one to wash over me with out trying to fight it

I think the trick is not so much to let it wash over you, but more one of metacognition - that is to recognise that you are having the panic thoughts but to see them as they truly are: a pattern of thoughts and sensations arising within yourself rather than something you must fight or succumb to.

Chris

[AnotherNewYear]

Thanks for the info Chris I will have a read later. I am seeing someone from the (I assume) the MH team tomorrow to see about getting me CBT. I gave up smoking the night of the attack I couldn't stop (one month and 3 days ago!!) - I have cut out all but 2 cups of weak tea a day and any other caffeine and have tried to stop drinking wine to control the attacks - gone from 4-5 bottles a week to less then a bottle a week and now have several nights in a row of not drinking anything. When this snow clearer I am taking running back up because exercise is always good ...I am willing to try anything !

[katiebean]

I find that at the moment I can't drink any alcohol......it just depends on how it effects you. I also cut back drastically on the caffeine. Like you, I am also going to try to do more exercise once the weather picks up. Before October I used to do a long cycle at least once a week with an old pal. The first time was a struggle but after that I looked forward to each one! It helps that she is a friend that I can talk to also, she had similar experiences with panic after giving birth to her first child.
I admit, it is difficult not to fight the attacks. But today, even though waking with strong anxiety, I was able to accept that my thoughts were just coming from that. It's hard when your heart is racing and you feel like you're going to throw up. I have to say to myself 'It's just panic', and it helps.

[HarrogateChris]

I have to say to myself 'It's just panic', and it helps.

Excellent, good for you :hugs:

xx

[AnotherNewYear]

Afternoon - just wanted to write a few thoughts down.

Saw the MH lady yesterday - apparently they can not offer CBT to everyone and after her assessment offered me group type support - not keen on this plus it is in the day time and I work full time/have kids that need picking up. So was offered 6 telephone support sessions with a self help booklet type thing ....sounds rubbish to me but I am up for trying anything and plus this time I am on medication (which I have never taken before).
She explain how CBT worked again and I think that in its self has had an impact...and because I have had to think about my triggers rather then hiding from them in an attempt to make them go away. I have been working on what I am thinking at the point an attack goes from mild to bad ...and calming myself down at that point (I don't think I am about to die - it feels like something bad will happen ...but not death- I know i am not dying most of the time!! lol) ...anyway this has been working for me (in safe situations) hopefully the rest will come in time.

Now the CIT (20mg) on day 5 - was very nervous about taking it and I am a little worried that the worst is still to come when it takes effect - but it has been ok .. have had the staring off into space, am really tired, funny taste, tight jaw, thirsty and headaches ....but I haven't had worse or heightened attacks ...which was the only thing i was worried about.


Feeling more positive then i have in a long time

[HarrogateChris]

Now the CIT (20mg) on day 5 - was very nervous about taking it and I am a little worried that the worst is still to come when it takes effect - but it has been ok .. have had the staring off into space, am really tired, funny taste, tight jaw, thirsty and headaches ....but I haven't had worse or heightened attacks ...which was the only thing i was worried about.


Feeling more positive then i have in a long time


Really pleased you're feeling positive :hugs:

The second week is often the worse on cit, if things get a little rocky soon just remember it's the pills and it won't last long. It's worth it :D

Don't want to be a prophet of doom, but forewarned is forearmed. Just enjoy feeling good now, it means the cit is working and it's worth sticking with.

Chris