feeling pathetic

[ItWillPass]

Today has been a rough day for me. I am assuming what I have is anxiety though I am not sure. My anxiety has been pretty under controll for awhile now... But wow do I feel a relapse. Logically it makes sense, my husband has been out of work for several months. While financially it has been horrible, emotionally it has been great because he was always around when I needed him. I was working part-time and I would know that he was home and very close to me, and could drop everything if I needed him. I know this sounds SO selfish... hence the title of my post. But, today he started a new job and I am just a basket case. I feel like my head is going to explode. I am really dizzy and I feel like an elephant is on my chest. To make matters worse, I am expecting. I almost called 911 I felt so horrible. I just feel like something is terribly wrong and I am on own... I guess I didnt even realize how dependant I was! ahhh. :weep:

[PokerFace]

When I first got anxiety my sister was always around because she worked 5pm-10pm and by the time she went to work my mum was home and then when she got a real job my mum was off for the Summer cuz she's a teacher so I was never alone.

When everyone went back to work my anxiety peaked really badly cuz I'd never had to be alone all day every day and I was scared something was going to happen to me and no one would be able to help. All I can say is it's a shock to suddenly be left feeling helpless and scared but it does pass. I've been alone all day every day since September and it does get easier. I still have bad days sometimes, but they're no where near as bad as it was in the beginning.

You're anxiety is telling you something is seriously wrong because you're nervous about being alone which is hightening your anxiety and setting off a string of symptoms, it's the same thing as being out of our comfort zones.

You're NOT pathetic at all, a lot of people with anxiety have trouble being alone but it really really does get easier. xx

[katiebean]

It definatley sounds like a bout of anxiety to me. Don't forget, you're completely allowed to worry about things, and some anxiety reoccurence doesn't neccesarily mean it's a full blown relapse. I too, am having a bit of a blip at the moment, but then life is never an even keel for very long. Although i hate going, my GP always reassures me. Do you take any medication?

[ladybird64]

Hello :)

Poor you, everything seems to be hitting at once doesn't it? But the thing to try and keep in mind is that you are totally and completely normal.
It is the most normal thing in the world if you are an anxiety sufferer to want to have someone with you all the time, "just in case"..it happens to us all no matter what type of anxiety we have.

But I have a feeling you are going to be able to manage this anxiety becuase you are so very logical about it! You know what's causing it, contributory factors (baby on the way) and you have realised you have been dependant on someone else.

So..them's the facts. And if that makes you a basket case, what does it make the rest of us who rely on others for peace of mind? :winks:

Try and think it through if you can. What is the likelihood of some disaster happening? Minimal. I know you're terrified but maybe try and alter your thoughts a little..what a chance to prove to yourself that you can manage on your own for a few hours?

You say that you work part-time..is hubby with you when you go to work? If not then you can reassure yourself that you CAN be away from him for a few hours..no catastrophy will happen.

Why not take one day or even one hour at a time. Instead of counting down the hours until he gets home, try counting them as how many hours you have managed to cope without needing help "just in case"?

Just a suggestion :hugs:

[ItWillPass]

Thank you all so much for your support. Seriously, I feel so alone today, and I feel so lucky to have found this forum of people who really get it. Lady bird, I am still working... but I work very close to home, so it was always very reassuring to have my husband at home... a few times I had bad spells at work and he would come get me. Now in hindsight, all of those bad spells were really nothing, so I have to remind myself of that. That while he did come get me, chances are I really didnt NEED him to. Anyway... I am just a mess today, but having the support here has really meant more than words can even say. Thank you so much.