A dark cloud...?

[Nicole01]

Hi All,

I know so many people post their streams of consciousness on here, so I'm following suit and hoping it might do me some good.

I'm pretty lucky. In fact, I'm VERY lucky. I have a dream job that i worked very hard for, a sensational boyfriend and amazing family. I have a lovely flat, and at only 24, surely a bright future ahead of me. But...

I'm depressed. I have suffered from anxiety and OCD for as long as I can remember and i worry about everything...me dying, my family dying, my boyfriend etc. Then i hear awful stories on the news and i get scared from that. I'm scared of everything...I don't think that's any sort of way to live your life - which kind of makes this whole situation worse. I don't have anything to be depressed about, and more frustratingly, i don't want to be depressed at all. Over the last few days, i keep getting these waves of suicidal thoughts - like someone in my brain says "go on, just do it. what's the point? if you're not worrying about death, your worrying about something else...seriously, would it not just be easier to give in?". Luckily, I'm a very open person and speak to my Mum and boyfriend who are both fantastic so i don't bottle it up. But I'm so scared that I'll cave in, and that strength they think i have will crumble. I don't want to hurt myself at all...but how long can someone fight?

I'm on Sertraline and am off to the doctors tomorrow. I'll go on fighting i guess..

I'm hoping I'm not the only one to have felt like this? A dark cloud that engulfs you?

Nx

[cooley2274]

hello nicole,
hope you can keep possitive.life certainly is a challenge it doesnt matter what good things are in your life you cant help how you feel.:weep:everybody is up and down all a time what is very interesting about dark clouds is that the come and go.sometimes we have to just wait until the sun comes out....and rest assured it always does..:winks:just make sure your mam is there when it is cloudy and your boyfriend:)

[ElizabethJane]

Nicole are you having any sort of talking therapy? It might help you to talk to a professional person who is not involved with you?

[joannap]

i feel exactly the same way. how long have you been on sertraline? i have been on prozac for nearly 3 weeks and my mum and husband are saying they can see improvements but i still feel terrible inside and that is how i explain it - that i don;t want to die but worry i will be overtaken by the complusion to do something silly because i feel so awful and every minute is a struggle. just thought it may help you to know someone else feels the same! xx

[eternally optimistic]

I'm pretty lucky. In fact, I'm VERY lucky. I have a dream job that i worked very hard for, a sensational boyfriend and amazing family. I have a lovely flat, and at only 24, surely a bright future ahead of me. But...

Luckily, I'm a very open person and speak to my Mum and boyfriend who are both fantastic so i don't bottle it up. But I'm so scared that I'll cave in, and that strength they think i have will crumble. I don't want to hurt myself at all...but how long can someone fight?

I'm on Sertraline and am off to the doctors tomorrow. I'll go on fighting i guess..

I'm hoping I'm not the only one to have felt like this? A dark cloud that engulfs you?

Hi there, you sound like you have some great people around you and that will be so useful in the future.

I hope the visit to the doctors tomorrow will be useful to you and also comfort you that you are not losing the fight.

I truly hope your dark cloud moves on soon and that the sun is shining on you very shortly.

Good luck

Nx[/QUOTE]