Hello - I'm new.

[StarryBlueGal]

Hello everybody,

I have been lurking on this board for few times. I have panic attacks for a long time. I sometimes get them in the winter, but in the summer, I am usually fine. Recently I got redundant from my job, which I have been doing for 2 years. The panic attacks slowly returned as I was really shocked when my boss told me the news. Now I'm unemployed since last week - yes the same week during Christmas!

Now I had really bad panic attack last night, and I had these really deep thoughts, it was like a hidden thought behind my main thoughts - like I'm not important in this world, and life is not the same etc, the universe is so big and I am really tiny...- I felt like I'm going mad and I feel like I can't control things. I was shaking like hell and can't breathe. I tried to breathe slowly and it was in the middle of the night, I have not been sleeping well lately on/off. I feel sick sometimes and my stomach is wobbly. I am slowly getting OK again but I don't want it to happen again. My head was tightening up and it was hurting. It was like hot burning feelings.

I hate Christmas and I am not very good with eating in front of people. I know this sounds stupid but I am glad to find this forum. My family doesn't really understand how I am feeling and I feel so alone sometimes. I haven't been to the GP as I am scared and I don't like to take medication at all. I know I should but I am too scared to let change take over my life. I had a bad year in 2010 and I want it to be better soon.

Thanks for listening and I know you all will understand me.

StarryBlueGal xx

[paula lynne]

Hi Starry, welcome to the forum, youll find lots of help and support here.:welcome:

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and welcome to NMP :welcome:
Paige x

[Distel]

I am the same as you and have panic attacks but for a different reason have you thought about getting some counselling it would be good to go to your GP if you dont like taking medication they might offer you other help. Welcome to the site :):)

[jothenurse]

Definitely go to your doctor. That doesn't mean you have to take medications. Some counseling may help you.

[southernmagpie]

Hello Starry. Welcome to the forum.

I was reluctant to go to my GP about this but if you have a good one they are very understanding and as others have said they may recommend counselling or other help, which is what i am getting.

[_Emma]

Hi :) Welcome 2 the forum, I know u'll find lots of support around here, it's really helped me a lot. It sometimes even helps just 2 know there r others who feel the same way u do, always good 2 know ur not alone!

[StarryBlueGal]

Hello everybody,

Thanks for the lovely welcome. I found this forum really useful, I found this few months ago and found that most of you had the same things with me, which was a relief. I also belong to some panic groups on Facebook, and found that really helpful.

I am not really into counselling, but I know some friends who tell me that they found it really helpful. I am not keen on telling a stranger about my private thoughts and feelings. I would rather talk with a friend or family about it. I know if I don't do something about it, I would get worse.

My first panic attack was in 1997. On Christmas Day. I never forget that day. I hated that and since then I hate Christmas, as I associate it with panic attacks.

Starry xx

[jothenurse]

I know sometimes it's hard to talk to a stranger, but after awhile you learn to feel comfortable with your counselor. Talking to friends and family is fine, but sometimes they don't always know how to help you or what has helped other people going through what you are going through.

[blueangel]

Like some of the others, I really recommend that you go and see your GP - they're often remarkably helpful about anxiety and depression issues, as it's something that affects huge numbers of people.

[StarryBlueGal]

Thanks.. will have a think about it.

My family keep telling me to be happy and to look on the bright side of things... but it's hard because I don't have many friends and I don't go out much. So I tend to think about negative things and thinking about the past a lot. So that why I have depression and anxiety too. Saw my sister today and she told me to be happy and move on with my life.... sighs.

Family can be supportive but they don't really understand. Thanks for your support.

Starry xx

[simon68]

Hi Starrybluegal,

Everything you describe I suffer also. I'm sure the same can be said for all of us here.
The good thing is we have this fantastic website to open our fears and thoughts to others and receive support in return. :)

Your 2010 sounds so similar to mine. The only difference is I was made redundant in March so at least I was able to find employment in time for the dreaded Christmas.

Christmas was at the in-laws and I struggle in the company of lots of people. I made it through in the end.

You will get better and I'm sure your 2011 will turn out just fine. I know many people don't understand the problems we suffer, so if you need help or a chat, please don't hesitate to PM me.:)

Oh by the way, the night time panics are the worst. I have them regularly. :weep:
They also improve over time though.

Take care
Simon

[Nigel]

Hi Starry,
:welcome: to NMP!
I’m sorry to hear about the redundancy – not the sort of news one needs just before Christmas. Hope you soon find another job.

Try not to worry about those ‘really deep thoughts’. It’s human nature to be curious and ask questions, and definitely not a sign of going mad. People like Stephen Hawking have made a pretty successful career out of asking and trying to answer those sort of questions. In fact if people never had such thoughts, we’d all still be living on the dark ages.

“I am not really into counselling, but I know some friends who tell me that they found it really helpful. I am not keen on telling a stranger about my private thoughts and feelings. I would rather talk with a friend or family about it.”

I know what you mean. Sometimes people have told me it might help to talk to a professional about some of my issues, but I’ve never felt comfortable doing so and never have. There are even things I find hard to talk to family about. But for some strange reason it seems easier to talk to total strangers on the internet about it. Perhaps it’s the anonymity, or maybe the fact that while people might have different issues to me, they still have their own hang ups and wouldn’t judge me for having mine.

“My family keep telling me to be happy and to look on the bright side of things... but it's hard because I don't have many friends and I don't go out much.”

That’s something Mum often says to me too – to just be happy with the things I have – but it’s hard sometimes. Wish there was something like a magical happiness switch we could just flick when we need it. But happiness is a consequence of doing other things. It’s what happens when we do things that make us feel happy, and that’s what makes it’s so hard to do when feeling depressed.

“So I tend to think about negative things and thinking about the past a lot.”

That’s probably not the best place to be spending a lot of time, although it’s a characteristic of depression – dwelling negatively on the past and imagining it to continue in the future. What makes that so depressing is that the past cannot be changed, and that makes it all seem so hopeless. But the future hasn’t happened yet. You can make it whatever you want it to be.

Wishing you a better 2011, Starry :)
Nigel

[StarryBlueGal]

Thanks for your posts.

I never had these deep thoughts before - I had these thoughts before and brushed them away. But lately they make me feel panicky and scared. I think it's because of the redundancy thing that makes me feel like this.

I think of the past a lot where I was happy and compare it to the situation I am in today. I can't believe 10 years has gone past so fast. I want to go back when I was young where I was naive and happy in some ways. It is so hard to accept that I am getting older. But thanks for your support, it means a lot to me.

Simon, thanks for your help - I know what you mean, hiding it from your kids. I hide it from my family, I told a bit to my Mum but she doesn't understand. It is very difficult when you go through life and having these thoughts - it happened recently when I got redundant. I hope I get a job soon - but it's not easy because there are cuts around so it's hard to find a job now. Vicious circle.

Hope to see you around again, am coming here a lot now and finding it useful too.

Starry xx

[Nigel]

Hi Starry,

“I had these thoughts before and brushed them away. But lately they make me feel panicky and scared. I think it's because of the redundancy thing that makes me feel like this.”

That’s probably very true. Stress does make a person more susceptible to anxiety and panic, and redundancy is very stressful. Plus you probably have more time on your hands to ponder such thoughts, whereas before you were too busy working to give them much attention. They don’t have to be answered though. Simply dismiss them.

“I can't believe 10 years has gone past so fast. I want to go back when I was young where I was naive and happy in some ways.”

Yes...
And then one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun...
I wish it was only ten years... :unsure:

It’s no use dwelling on the past though. Learn from it, and use the best bits to start making the future into what you want it to be.

Take care :)
Nigel

[hihello]

Hi

I actually just posted something very similar to this. I have begun to feel like the world is closing in on me and very overwhelmed with the size of the world and universe. I know it sounds silly but its really scary for me to think that I will be on this planet for another 60 years. Please let me know if you find any ways to calm down when you start thinking about this, and I will do the same.

[StarryBlueGal]

Hi,

I've replied to your thread, I understand what you are going through but I am not really bad like you but I understand what you mean about the world being huge and the universe too.

Are you entering college or university? Are you working? I hope you have something that you want to aim for the future - you are only 21, you need to have something that you need to think about doing.

PM me if you want to talk about your thoughts about the world or the universe.

Also thank you to the others who also posted a comment to me. It's good to have support here.

Starry xx

[sotiredofthis]

Hi, I am also new. I am not sure if my symtoms are panic attacks or not. Stupid question but how can you tell? I seem to be getting worse everyday, blood pressure is all over the place but my doctor seems to think nothing is wrong.:weep: