Worst Panic Attack in Some Time

[mtatum4496]

Over the last year, my attacks have become much less severe. As result, my agoraphobia has begun to fade also, and I've begun to attend church again, going to an earlier service that draws a smaller crowd.

I probably should have taken something before I went to the service this morning, since I felt a little shaky around the edges anyway. But I didn't, and toward the middle of the service, a humdinger of a panic attack started in. Vision blurred slightly, lightheadedness, trouble focusing, feeling weak, wanting to run but feeling like my legs wouldn't support me, insides jumping up and down, etc - you all know all the different things one can feel with these attacks.

The service was a very traditional, very liturgical, nothing going on that one would think would trigger an attack. But as we all know, panic attacks don't need an apparent reason to blast in and ruin your day.

Somehow, I made it through, took some Xanax once I was back in my car and drove home. I normally stop for a Sunday paper after church, but not today. Even now (roughly a half hour later), I'm still shaky.

Today's attack is a bit disconcerting. I do still have attacks every now and then, but this is the worst one in some time - really making me feel down today. It's a shame, since the sun is shining and it is unseasonably warm, the perfect day for being out of doors.

Oh well, this too shall pass. And if I don't start feeling better in an hour or so I'll take the remainder of my daily allotment. Lately, I haven't needed more than half of the allotment on any given day (and some days none at all), but that may not be the case this go round.

[Captain Caveman]

Hi. Glad you have been improving. Good job for not taking something before your service. The more you do this, the more you will show yourself that you can cope with the unpleasant feelings you will need to go through to recover. It will be discomforting and exhausting, but bit by bit your confidence will grow and you will see that all this anxiety is self created fear of the fear. Keep it up.

[jothenurse]

How much xanax do you usually take in a day and for how long have you been taking it? I take ativan.

[mtatum4496]

Well, it's later and I am feeling a little better after taking the remaining amount of my allowed dosage. At least, I was sufficiently better to go back out and get a newspaper and spend a little time in the sunshine.

Yes Captain, I normally do try to ride things out, just to see if I can. Sometimes that works, sometimes not. Lately, it has worked more often than not. Unfortunately, today has not been one of those days.

Jo, my currently allowed daily dosage is quite low: half a milligram per day on an as needed basis. Some days, I feel the need to take something, other days I feel no need at all and so leave the pills tucked away where I can find them. I also carry a few with me when I leave the house, since sometimes just knowing they are there is enough to calm me down when the panic is somewhat mild.

My prescription is for the regular stuff, not the time-released version, so I can break the tablets in two and try a quarter-milligram at a time. Often that is sufficient, but once in a while I end up taking the other quarter-milligram if the first round doesn't do the job.

A friend of mine was prescribed Ativan last year, since he had a bad reaction to Xanax for the anxiety he was experiencing at the time. He did quite well with it for the roughly four months that he required something, and also had very little in the way of withdrawal symptoms. I seem to recall talking with my doctor about the Ativan, but he didn't think it would be as helpful with my agoraphobia as the Xanax has been.

[jothenurse]

I'm trying to taper off the ativan now. For the last couple of months I was taking .25mg at 6 and .25ng at noon. Really never needed anything usually in the evening. For the last 3 days I have just taken the 6 AM dose. It's been a little hard. Sometimes don't know what is my psychological addiction knowing that I haven't taken it and what could be withdrawal. My doctor said I was on a very low dose and shouldn't have any big physical withdrawal. She also said I could just go prn right now, but will try to taper off with staying with the .25 at 6 AM for a while and then discontinue the morning dose. I tend to ruminate about it. I get scared to take it and scared not to take it.

[mtatum4496]

Jo, I can understand being a little scared. After taking Xanax for three years now, you would think I would be comfortable with the drug - and to some extent I am. But there are times when I am afraid that second dose will be too much and I won't be able to function. This has never actually happened - in fact, it is always the opposite. Nevertheless, the fear remains.

Hugs and best wishes as you try adjusting to a lower amount each day. Just keep in mind if it doesn't quite work this time, it never hurts to try again in a few months. A lot could happen between now and then.