Wedding

[deadcellx]

Hi everyone.

I'm really looking for some support/advice. I'm getting married in May, and of course I'm nervous.. But I'm so frightened I'm going to cause myself a panic attack or break down, on the day/lead up to it. I'm scared I'm going to ruin it, end up making myself so ill. I hate attention, I don't know if I will cope.

I'm sorry if I've posted this in the wrong part. of the forum.. I'm nervous just writing this! I don't know how to explain these feelings, but I really really hope someone knows what I mean?

Amanda

[paula lynne]

Hi Amanda, many congratualtions! I think anybody whos been married will tell you its normal to feel nerves....but you can do a bit of preparation now to help you through, and hopefully youll be able to relax and enjoy the day.

If you havent already tried the following, here are my suggestions-

See yourself in your mind being confident and well on the day...see yourself being relaxed and enjoying yourself. Try this exercise often.

Try lavender. Use a few drops on your palm (when you are calm and relaxed), breathe in, and as you do so, say to yourself "I am loved and I am safe"...do this everynight for 5 mins. On the morning of the wedding, find a quiet 5 mins and do this...your brain will of learnt to associate the smell with feelings of calm and happy feelings.......

Try bach rescue remedy. They sell lozenges here in the nmp shop....

If you feel a bit "off" during the day guess what, youre the bride!..you are allowed to sit quietly somewhere to gather your thoughts..its ok.

Try re-breathing into a paper bag to address any hyperventilating. This will quickly help the oxygen/carbon dioxide imbalance. Again, nip to the loo or somewhere quiet, with a bridesmaid etc for support.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect. Weddings are never perfect. Deligate-give others tasks or responsibiliteis, dont try to do too much yourself.

Start to get into a routine of bath, then lie in a quiet dark room and listen to your favourite calming cd. Use this on the wedding morning. Again, a nice trick of the brain.

Have a wonderful day, be happy xxxx

[nomorepanic]

We have had a few weddings on here and I can happily say that every single one went ok and the worry was far far worse than the actual event.

You will be fine and will have a lovely day.

[deadcellx]

Thank you both :)

Paula I'll give those a try out, thank you so much for sharing!

I hate how my head is conflicting itself, and that when I'm trying so hard not to think about it, family, friends and people at work keep bringing it up. I know they mean well but it's realllly not helping. I had a bit of a break down in a resturant today, when I was out with my partner, over things my family said about it yesterday.

[seashell]

Hi Amanda,

Not sure if this is any consolation but I'm in exactly the same boat as you....getting married (supposedly) in July and the thought of it is making me ill. Not the usual reaction but all I want to do is hide and forget about it, constant questions from work colleagues and family etc are not helping at all....so I sympathise massively!
xxx

[pinkpiglet]

Hi there! I'm a May bride too!! YEY!!!

I thought about all this anxiety business before we booked the wedding therefore thats why we are off abroad to do it in the open air with a few family and friends. I am not the type of person who likes too much fuss anyway and this felt like the best option for us (we both suffer with anxiety and panic).

I know that i'm still going to have some degree of anxiety on the day and I think the only way I am going to get around this is to avoid any triggers personal to my situation. The day as been planned to be as relaxed and informal as possible with some small details to make it unique to us. I couldnt have planned anything with too much grandure as I would have been setting myself up for disaster.

You know what things help you in tense situations so make sure you are prepared i.e;
Rescue remedy to hand, a place to retreat to if panic grips, someone close who can usually help you in these situations (groom, a parent..) etc...

All this aside, i am sure that once you get down that aisle you will get swept away with the moment and forget all your worries,
and besides........it normal for brides to get wedding day nerves.

Good Luck :)

[deadcellx]

Hi Amanda,

Not sure if this is any consolation but I'm in exactly the same boat as you....getting married (supposedly) in July and the thought of it is making me ill. Not the usual reaction but all I want to do is hide and forget about it, constant questions from work colleagues and family etc are not helping at all....so I sympathise massively!
xxx

Thanks seashell, I totally know what you mean, the constant questions and expectations are so unwanted! I really do want to get married, and I don't want ME to ruin it!

Pinkpiglett that's a very good plan! I really do hope I'll just be fine and enjoy it, can't help but worry y'know!

I hope the both of you have smooth and enjoyable wedding days!