stress at work making me bad

[katz41]

Had a horrendous start to the day..didn't sleep well last night despite staying off the caffeine and going to sleep took a while..tried a kalms which I think relaxed me a bit, was worrying about work anyway so I thoUght it would help..
Anyway got to work today to find that the person I job share with is now takking annual leave tomorrow instead of covering my shift as we'd agreed and guess who got the blame when I informed our manager?? Me! I've got to take my mum to the hospital tomorrow for her appt, and she needs me with her
So I got told that it wasn't acceptable, I should have booked it for when I had time off and I'd better not let it happen again!!!
Mum has got more appointments, they only do this clinic on a thirsday, she's nearly 80, really doddery on her pins and can only see out of one eye!!
Last time we went, we booked a hospital car that never turned up so we had to pay £30 for a taxi (I can't drive)
I'm so upset at the lack of support from our manager, its a good job I haven't seen her since as I probably would have lost my temper whuch would NOT be wise!!
I just can't believe it, well I can as they're always quick to criticise
I'm just so fed up

[katz41]

For two mins today I felt like putting two fingers up and saying f*** you but because I'm daft enoug
I stayed though what use I was I diont know..

[Dizz]

What a horrid and uncaring sounding woman. Have you explained to her that your mum needs you to take her to the appointments which are only on Thursday's and how she struggles?

If your horribe manager still shows no care and is making your life hard for you is there anyone else who could take your mum if you can't get agreed time off?

Tricky one eh but sadly 'those in charge' are often more interested in ticking their own boxes so they look good rather than showing any interest or support to their staff.

Is there anyone above her that you could talk to and explain your problem cos even managers have managers to keep them in tow and to oversee what's going on :)

[katz41]

I'm going to try and move on but I can't help feeling I'm the "fall guy" here and taking the rap for something that's not my fault And that makes me frustrated and angry
No there isn't anyone else I can ask to take my mum and to be honest I'd sooner be there with her myself
Thanks fir your post:) it's the first bit of support I've felt all day

[katz41]

I'm reluctant to lay the blame at my colleagues door ( im not like that) even though I feel it's her impromptu day off that's caused the problem ( she had agreed last time we spoke of it not to take this day off and would cover for me as I would cover for her)
Grrr I'm a bit mad actually:mad: as I feel I've been "had"

[katz41]

just emailed my manager, to apologise again for the mess today, dont know why its always me apologising..mums really stressed out too and that is also my fault
feel really low today and keep obsessing about it all

[katz41]

Just woken up now and thinking about all this...my only defence is to tell my manager that up to last week to my knowledge we were doing a straight swap and I did NOT realise that my colleague was taking an annual leave day- the thing is by doing that I may drop my colleague in it and I don't want to do that!
Worse still - I took my colleagues advice in composing and then sending an email detailing the swap and re reading it yesterday made me worry more and I feel she may have made me dig an even deeper hole for myself
I am sure she doesn't mean me any harm but I have sent another email detailing how I propose to avoid such a situation in the future and hope that will be ok
I've always got on with this manager on the past and want to again but I also don't want to incur the wrath of my colleague - I've seen how she can be with people she has fallen out with and I know it wouldn't be pleasant. We've had a good relationship up to now and I'd sooner keep it that way!!

[katz41]

update; had a much better day, think trying to wean off citalopram definitely hasnt helped, went from 40mg to 20mg on new years eve with doctors support and she did warn me it might be a bit of a jump..she was right! so i've moved back to 40mg and feeling a bit better already
i get really paranoid when i'm anxious as well and start imagining all sorts of things!

[jaded jean]

Hi Katz41
You are so much like me .Always on the lookout and watching everyone else at work. I have done things like that re the emailing the boss - was it in work hours?? Mine are usually late afternoon when something had been bugging me for the past week about another staff member who I think is acting suspiciously. I only work part time .
Re the situation about the swap with your work colleague- she knew she was off and she didnt care about what plans you had i.e. your mum.
I would have a word with Hr about it too and say these are important appointments for my mother and I am the only one able to take her ant then it could be memo'd.Dont be the fall guy for anyone- look to yourself at all times. I came back to work to find I was being ousted out of my position as Manager full time I may add to part time community work. Not a nice sitiuation but I couldnt do anything about it as it involved tenants etc . so I had that bombshell so I felt I was crapped on by management . But at least I have The DDA on my side now, Look after yourself hun if you notice anything odd going on report it dont worry. I accused of someone at work being a wolf in sheeps clothing spying on me- it was my anx at a very high level!!!
Take care

[simon68]

Sorry to read about your work situation :weep:

Sounds like your place of work is like mine.... I would have told my boss where to stick his job if I didn't need the money so badly!

Hope you feel better soon and your mum is okay!