Annie
07-08-03, 23:15
Hello to everybody.
I am a new member and would like to say how it has helped me knowing I am not alone out there.
I have suffered from panic attacks in some form since I was a teenager, (bus journeys to college I suffered from quite bad adrenalin)I am now 33. Six years ago I started having panic attacks if I was going out of town to visit friends or shop.
It is only now when they have become really bad what the ones in the past were.
They became a real problem almost twelve months ago. I commute to work which is a quick walk to the bus stop and then over an hour of a bus journey. I did this for four years without any difficulty whatsoever. I even looked forward to it as I meet friends on the bus. But, twelve months ago I started a new job, I worked there for two months before my female boss started bullying tactics and making my working life miserable. I had the first of my recent spell of panic attacks one morning (last October) on the bus whilst talking to a friend. The bus goes straight onto a motorway two minutes into the journey and it stays on this motorway for the next forty minutes to ann hour, there is nowhere to get off. I had to tell my friend I wasn't feeling very well, and did what many PA sufferers have probably done at one time or another, I said that I wasn't feeling very well as I had drunk too much wine the night before, I hadn't touched a drop. From then on I was having them every morning on the bus, a few times I even stood up on the bus on the motorway to ask the driver to stop. Partway down the aisle I realised what I was doing and sat back down, closed my eyes, breathed deeply and prayed that I could make it to the other end without seriously embarrassing myself. I am not sure what the symptoms of all PA sufferers are, I am sure that everybody's is different, but mine are severe stomach cramps and an overwhelming need to be near a bathroom. On the bus I feel terrified.
It then started in social situations where i felt exposed, shopping, cafe's with friends, queue's (I now cannot stand in the queue for my bus, I walk around town until i see the bus approaching).
Anyway I am rambling now. To cut a long story short, I was off work for eight weeks, I then left my job. I am now in a non stressful job and they are easier, but I still panic on the bus about having a panic attack. My last one was not on the bus though, it was whilst having lunch with a friend i have known since I was four. There is no rhyme or reason, and I just wish I knew why.
I read a lot about them now, and when I start to feel one coming on, actually thinking about it and what I am going through, strangely enough, helps. I am thinking of writing an article about them and thinking about what I will write about often makes an attack go away.
This will not beat me, and I will still catch this bus every morning, but i never drink the night before a bus journey, and i never arrange shopping trips with friends :-(
Annie
I am a new member and would like to say how it has helped me knowing I am not alone out there.
I have suffered from panic attacks in some form since I was a teenager, (bus journeys to college I suffered from quite bad adrenalin)I am now 33. Six years ago I started having panic attacks if I was going out of town to visit friends or shop.
It is only now when they have become really bad what the ones in the past were.
They became a real problem almost twelve months ago. I commute to work which is a quick walk to the bus stop and then over an hour of a bus journey. I did this for four years without any difficulty whatsoever. I even looked forward to it as I meet friends on the bus. But, twelve months ago I started a new job, I worked there for two months before my female boss started bullying tactics and making my working life miserable. I had the first of my recent spell of panic attacks one morning (last October) on the bus whilst talking to a friend. The bus goes straight onto a motorway two minutes into the journey and it stays on this motorway for the next forty minutes to ann hour, there is nowhere to get off. I had to tell my friend I wasn't feeling very well, and did what many PA sufferers have probably done at one time or another, I said that I wasn't feeling very well as I had drunk too much wine the night before, I hadn't touched a drop. From then on I was having them every morning on the bus, a few times I even stood up on the bus on the motorway to ask the driver to stop. Partway down the aisle I realised what I was doing and sat back down, closed my eyes, breathed deeply and prayed that I could make it to the other end without seriously embarrassing myself. I am not sure what the symptoms of all PA sufferers are, I am sure that everybody's is different, but mine are severe stomach cramps and an overwhelming need to be near a bathroom. On the bus I feel terrified.
It then started in social situations where i felt exposed, shopping, cafe's with friends, queue's (I now cannot stand in the queue for my bus, I walk around town until i see the bus approaching).
Anyway I am rambling now. To cut a long story short, I was off work for eight weeks, I then left my job. I am now in a non stressful job and they are easier, but I still panic on the bus about having a panic attack. My last one was not on the bus though, it was whilst having lunch with a friend i have known since I was four. There is no rhyme or reason, and I just wish I knew why.
I read a lot about them now, and when I start to feel one coming on, actually thinking about it and what I am going through, strangely enough, helps. I am thinking of writing an article about them and thinking about what I will write about often makes an attack go away.
This will not beat me, and I will still catch this bus every morning, but i never drink the night before a bus journey, and i never arrange shopping trips with friends :-(
Annie