Little-Girl-Lost
07-01-11, 01:19
Hi all,
I was just sitting here writing when I started to go into one of my "states" again. I call it a state cause I don't know what else to call it. Sometimes, I go into these really dark thinking states that actually take me over completely and I am completely dysfunctional when it happens in all parts of my life. I could be completely happy, in manic, depressed, angry.. it doesn't matter what is happening... there is no specific trigger that I know of..
Just all of a sudden... I start to feel hopeless about life completely... and everything around me, I'm just ready to get rid of completely. Any thing that I would usually use as a reason why things are worth it (e.g. people I love, or people who love me, or both) don't work to take me out of it and I cannot feel anything really. It is a state of "calmness" while being tormented by "Dark" thoughts.
In this state, I have been very self-destructive. I have done things that I typically would not normally do, and feel no empathy or guilt towards it (until after the fact) but in the moment, I'm impulsive and not caring.
That is so vague so I suppose no one will really have anything to say about this...
But it's just weird that it can happen so quickly.. out of the blue... and I can't control the way it feels/the way I think when in that state... as well as the actions or decisions I make sometimes.
Little Girl Lost.
Emma.
I was just sitting here writing when I started to go into one of my "states" again. I call it a state cause I don't know what else to call it. Sometimes, I go into these really dark thinking states that actually take me over completely and I am completely dysfunctional when it happens in all parts of my life. I could be completely happy, in manic, depressed, angry.. it doesn't matter what is happening... there is no specific trigger that I know of..
Just all of a sudden... I start to feel hopeless about life completely... and everything around me, I'm just ready to get rid of completely. Any thing that I would usually use as a reason why things are worth it (e.g. people I love, or people who love me, or both) don't work to take me out of it and I cannot feel anything really. It is a state of "calmness" while being tormented by "Dark" thoughts.
In this state, I have been very self-destructive. I have done things that I typically would not normally do, and feel no empathy or guilt towards it (until after the fact) but in the moment, I'm impulsive and not caring.
That is so vague so I suppose no one will really have anything to say about this...
But it's just weird that it can happen so quickly.. out of the blue... and I can't control the way it feels/the way I think when in that state... as well as the actions or decisions I make sometimes.
Little Girl Lost.
Emma.