View Full Version : Need some sound advice please
I have been feeling quite postitive the past couple of weeks because I have been having Reiki treament & hypnotherapy. However, I had a big setback last night. The problem started when I phoned my mother in law last night to ask her how her holiday was - she just got back from Cyprus. She had a great time then I made the major mistake of asking how her flight was (well you do don't you - to make polite conversation). She started talking about how cramped it was, how she was so fidgety, & did'nt know what to do with herself. She said that she really does'nt think that she could go on any flights longer than that now as she finds it quite difficult (she's 71 now). AS she was telling me this, I started envisioning our 9 hr flight we are taking on 1st July. I started getting flashbacks to the same flight which I took this time last year. I remember people putting their seats right back & how claustraphobic it made me feel. When I asked the Air Hostess if she could ask them to put their seats up a little bit, she said no, she could not do that as it is up to the passengers how they put their seats (apart from when meals are being served). I found this most upsetting as there is little space as it is. Anway, I started into a spiral of fearful thoughts about the plane (which, if I'm honest has been at the back of my mind since I booked the holiday last Aug.) The upshot of it was that I could not concentrate on anything after that call. My 7yr old new I was upset & asked me what was wrong. She knows already that I fear flying so I told her I was worrying about the flight. She started to cry because I think she is worried that I won't get on the flight & quite frankly so am I. MInd you the past 2x that we have does this flight I have worried about it but did manage to get on. But coming back is an ordeal too. This time I just don't know if I'm strong enough - I just don't know if I can go through this worry & anxiety before it & even during it. My husband came home a little late from football - kids were in bed. I told him what had happened. The holiday is due to be paid by the 8th April - & this is preying on my mind too. So, he said look if this is just too much for you then we will just have to cancel - we will only lose our deposit. That's when I started to cry because I realised that is what I want to do cancel. but I am so worried about letting my family & myself down. He said that the kids will get over it - they've been 2x already & if I can never get on a flight again, the kids will be able to when they are older. He said we can still go on holiday somewhere here in the UK. He siad that It's not the end of the world - it's only a 2 week holiday. I said how embarrassed I would be to have to tell people why we cancelled & how they will think that I am a terrible mother for letting my kids down. He said that was riduculous, people won't think that. He said if Maureen (my friend) called you & said she had cancelled a holiday because she was unable to get on the flight would you think she is a terrible mother, I said no. He said lot's of people can't get on flights. I said that I can't believe that my life has come to this - that I am actually considering cancelling a dream holiday because I can't get on that plane. He said that lots of things happen to people that they think how has this happened? It's just the way it is he said, so there is no point worrying about that. He was being so nice about it, which made me feel worse because I feel like I am being a selfish idiot. But I honestly don't know how get the courage to go on this flight. I swing back & forth, back & forth & it is eating me up. I know that I am supposed to just accept the fear, live with it & just do it - but I cannot seem to actually do this. I cried for hours last night because if I do go, then it will be an ordeal for me for ages - it's already been like that & the closer it gets the more anxious I get. But if I don't go, then I will have to face the look of disappointment on my children's face & I know that I wi
i think that you should go on the holiday and think about the positive things about flying. I had a fear of flying when returning from Amsterdam, and it was so hard i was literally dripping sweat but i feel like im so strong for being able to do it.
It'll be hard work, but relax - think about how amazing the holiday will be and try not to look at the down sides of panic attacks and fear..
I hope this helps
David
HI
I really know how you feel as I am scared of flying too. I am off sick with stress and anxiety anyway, but am due to fly to Las vagas holiday of a life time in 6 weeks and I am already getting in a panic. But I think of how I will let myself down if I dont go, and I will miss all the wonders yet to see. But I know when you are frightened its so easy for others to say well come on you will be ok. So maybe its a case of I will if you will.
Jenn
Hi Jenn,
Wow! Las Vegas! What a great place to go. That's a long flight too? When is the last time you flew? What is your fear on a plane, the same as mine? being confined? or of the danger? You sound more positive than me & you've only got 6 wks to go. I like that idea, I'll do it, if you do it. Please let me know how you get on & don't hesitate to PM me closer to the time if you are feeling anxiety.
Hi Panicdiva
I may seem positive but im not that strong when it comes to flying, I just hate it when the doors close and I know its not like a bus if I panic I cant just hop off. I think thats the main thing being confinde, I keep thinking I wander if there is a doc on board just in case. What a pair we are. I know im going to lose it at the airport, but I dont want to let anyone dowm least of all myself I suppose. I really hope you can make it. I will be proud of you let me know nearer the time how you are and I will tell you how I got on.
jenn
Hi Jenn,
The thing is, I did do last year & in 2002. So I have done it - but like you, once that door closes, well it is so final - there is no way of going back. Even more annoying about all of this is that I used to LOVE flying! To me going on holiday was not a real holiday unless you got to fly - this all started when I started having panic attacks after my 2nd child was born almost 8 yrs ago. Anyway, I know you can do it too - sometimes the worry before hand is much worse than the reality.
Hi Panicdiva
We are in the same boat. but I really hope we can both do it. Ive paid for the holiday so stand to lose a lot of money and I am not sure I can do it to my hubby, he has been so good looking after me while I have been off sick. People at work seem to enjoy the airport bit they class that as part of their holiday, me i just want to get ,in get on the plane and go. the more I hang around the more panic i feel.
Shall we make a pact, ill go and tell you all about it only if you do the same, but pm me if you need someone to talk to. im here.
jenn
Hi Pan
Understand how you feel and always here to listen if you need me.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Hi panicdiva
I am in the extact same boat and 5 weeks today I will be on a plane!
The closer it approaches the worse I am getting. Two years ago I went to Zante and caused such a scene at Edinburgh airport that I didnt think I could get on the plane. I vowed I would never get on a plane again but when my friend suggested we go on holiday with our daughters I booked it on line and didnt really think about the flight as it was some time away. Last night I went into a panic just thinking and writing this now brings me out in a panic.
I am planning to get some hypnosis before I go and I guess I will just go and see what happens. Like you I worry that I would be letting down my friend and my daughter and what would other people think if I had to cancel.
Your husband sounds as though he is really supportive and I am sure that no matter what decision you make your family will be happy just spending time with you whether it is abroad or in the UK.
Take care and I wish you all the best
Darkangel
........life is for living not just for surviving
Thanks darkangel,
Hypnosis is a good idea. I went last year for a few sessions before going to Florida. However, the sessions were mainly for my fear of going on the 3hr journey on the motorway (we fly from Manchester because we like Virgin). Actually my pre- flight nerves were not quite as bad as 2002 when I had no hypnosis. Going on the motorway last year was really not too bad. However, the night before at the airport Hotel I could hardly speak, or eat or anything. I cried when we took off - and to be honest - I was a nervous wreck the whole flight. So, this time I am going to try NLP which is alot like hypnosis - to concentrate more on the flight rather than the motorway. I know that you live in the same area as me - so if you want the name of a couple of people that I have used, I would be happy to give them to you - just PM me.
*AS she was telling me this, I started envisioning our 9 hr flight we are taking on 1st July. I started getting flashbacks to the same flight which I took this time last year.*
Its all your negative thoughts starting this all off and perpetuating it. You will not lose control and run up and down aisles
Flying (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3092)
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anxious need some reasurance from my friends here (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3918)
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Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress
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