Fearful of the future

[simon68]

I am really scared of what lays ahead in my life.
So much so it is making me unhappy, and more than likely contributes to my ill health.

This country is a shambles, my job is a joke which pays little money, I miss my kids who live 22 miles from me (don't sound much but I am struggling to pay transport costs!), I am in a relationship that seems to have more downs than ups :weep: and I have the panic/anxiety to deal with too :weep:

I don't know what to think anymore and the future looks bleak. :weep:

How do I learn to cope with life in 2011?

[ChrisK]

Hello, I'm going through the exact same problem. I take fish oil supplement, a multivitamin pill, and an antidepressant to continue my life. Please remind yourself that you're not alone in this, and many people even faced worse. We have to place our emotional health above all else, to transcend the artificial cubical life of work and paychecks, in order to appreciate life for what it is. Humanity has long forgotten the joy of simple existence, we have been trained to take everything for granted. I know that your first guess is that it's easier said than done, A LOT easier said than done, and it can never be PERFECTED. Believe me, you are much more stronger than you credit yourself to be, pain reveals our srengtht, embrace it as an opportunity to test your efforts. Try to maintain a strict diet, and a strict schedule for exercise, social interaction and a time for peaceful solitude (prayer, meditation etc.), the things I should be doing but don't. :hugs:

[Meewah]

Hi Simon

Me too. I bet its very common. Coldplay wrote a song about it. I think that is what got me in to Buddhism. I could not live worrying about the future and what could happen. I now live every day as it comes its great. I now know that suffering is part of life and that we can change the way we think about all things. It just takes time. I think about death all the time and it really has helped de-sensitise me. I know this sounds crazy but gently expose yourself to things that your fear most in life. Keep doing it in a calm manner and the struggle you are facing now will start to ease. They say in Buddhism that with time you can reach the point where you do not fear death at all and you welcome it with open arms when your time is up.

I talked to someone who was dying and they said that we are all dying slowly its just that they felt a bit let down that it was the end for them before they were ready.

To quote Monty Python " we come from nothing and go back to nothing"

If I can be of any more help just ask.

Health and Happiness

Mee

[Captain Caveman]

Greetings Simon. In the last few days I've been reading about a lady who was known as "Peace Pilgrim". She talked about finding inner peace/harmouny. She mentioned the following which I think could help you out with the problems you have at the moment:

"There's the whole matter of having a meaningful attitude for the problems that life may set before you. If only you could see the whole picture, if only you knew the whole story, you would realize that no problem ever comes to you that does not have a purpose in your life, that cannot contribute to your inner growth. When you perceive this, you will recognize problems as opportunities in disguise. If you did not face problems you would just drift through life, and you would not gain inner growth. It is through solving problems in accordance with the highest light that we have that inner growth is attained" http://www.peacepilgrim.com/steps1.htm#index

[Veronica H]

Hi Simon

Good advice so far. Live as much in the moment as you can, and try not to think ahead or look back at problems past or future. Most of the things we worry about will not happen or will turn out differently anyway....I know it is easy to say and hard to do when your nerves are sensitised, but if you can manage this for now, then when your nerves have recovered you will be able to think more clearly about what you want and how you can achieve it. :bighug1:Vx

[Groundhog]

Hi Simon
Sorry to read you are feeling down at the moment. Here’s my take on it but I’ll warn you its from ‘the hip’ so deep breath before you read on :)

‘the country is a shambles. Yes but no worse than most others and considerably better than most (Millions of immigrants can’t be wrong) in a previous job I travelled widely and trust me there are some terrible terrible places out there.

‘my job is a joke that pays little money’ then move on, decide what you want to do and go for it. I have done a variety of jobs in my lifetime and all vastly different. In my youth I worked for a mainstream motorsport team, I then ran a firework display business for some years, sold that and now teach science. I often have people tell me how lucky I am because they are stuck in a job they hate just so they can pay the bills – nonsense, the opportunities are there if you go and get them rather than sit waiting for them to come to you.

‘kids live 22 miles away’ I do commiserate although to put it in perspective a colleague of mines child has just moved to America with his mother and new step dad, my colleague speaks to his son daily via web cam, e-mails, phone etc. Sometimes one has to cut ones cloth accordingly.

‘a relationship that has more downs than ups’ then talk to your partner, get help with a councillor if all this fails then perhaps it’s not meant to be, not all relationships are sadly.

OK I know its easy for me to write this as my anxiety is not with me all the time it is just set off by specific things that I am able to control to a greater or lesser degree but sadly in this life one can wait an awful long time for opportunities to come along its sometimes necessary to actively seek them out.

I’m rooting for you Simon, good luck :)

[simon68]

Thanks for the replies everyone,

I have read them all several times and really appreciate the input you guys and gals have written.

I'm going to try to take on board all that has been said, and research some topics also.

Groundhog, you have helped me think and focus on the positives, of which I have overlooked. Many many thanks. :)

Thanks everyone!!

[eternally optimistic]

Good luck Simon and hope everything works out.

Well done Groundhog