Advise and help on PTSD please

[Magz2011]

A few months ago my boyfriend had a pretty bad car crash, he almost lost his life and was in ITU for a few weeks. His injuries were quite bad, a few months in hospital and now he's out. He's curently suffering from PTSD, he has his up days and down days but he's not himself atall. I'm doing my best to keep everything as normal as possible and stress free, I'm nursing him as best I can and generally doing what a girlfriend should do.

I know he will eventually get better, he's a strong guy and has plenty of friends to get him back on track but I'm starting to worry about myself. The night of the crash I was phoned and arrived while he was still trapped in the car, first of all that was all I could think about for a few weeks. But now I can't let myself think about it at all or I'll brake down and cry again! If I'm on my own then more than not I'll cry and all I think about is my again. I never eve thought about it affecting me, but things aren't getting any easier for me... just worse.

Does anyone know if this means I have PTSD also?
Any advise would be great, I can't talk to my boyfriend about this while he's dealing with so many other problems.

Thanks,
:hugs:

[ruthb1]

HI Hun, You probably have some sort of PTSD if you witnessed such horrific events. I went through a similar thing seven years ago, my partner suffered 2 heart attacks at the age of 40 within 3 months both times in front of me, second time i basically saw him die in front of me and then be brought back, it was horrific and I can totally understand what you are going through. I think you need to talk to your doctor, explain how your feeling. Totally understand if you dont want to go on meds I was the same and I fought it and fought it for months but in the end it got the better of me and I ended up rock bottom. I wish now looking back i had taken the advice of my doctor and went on meds straight away. I still have anxiety over what has happened in my life, but on the upside I still have my partner, who like your partner struggles with what has happened to him, but we both have learned to talk to each other about it and talking does help. My life wont be the same again an I think thats what I hated most, but I did go on meds. they did help me and I do cope now. hope this helps a little x x x x x

[Magz2011]

Thanks for the reply, OMG so sorry to hear about your partner it must have been terrible seeing that, but like you said you still have him and he has you. :)
Thanks for the advice too, I'll probably end up going to speak to my doctor, I just feel a bit silly as my boyfriends going through so much more. I want to be strong for him but I feel like I'm making things worse.

Also I'm only 22, If i went on meds now would I be on them for the rest of my life?

x

[eternally optimistic]

Hi Magz2011

I am sorry to hear about you and your boyfriends recent events.

This is something I can very very much relate to.

I would advise to cry as much as you possibly can..... I wish I had done that many many years ago when I too was involved in a nasty car accident.

I am 42 now, and my accident happened when I was 20, but because myself and my brain shut down over alot of what happened, I am paying the price for it now..

I would seek some help, either from your GP or a counsellor. Your GP is most probably the right place to start as they will identify whether you have PTSD and then point you in the right direction.

Take it from me, if you think you have a problem, try and deal with it as soon as possible. Unfortunately, when my accident happened PTSD wasnt totally recognised but it numbed me beyond belief.

At the time of my accident, I think those around me took the rough of what was happening. This may apply to you too.

Feel free to contact me, if you like.

Meanwhile, good luck to you both for the future.

[Magz2011]

Thank you jackie, I'm definately going to talk about it with my GP, ust have to pluck up the courage.

I've found that talking about it... even if it's to myself :-) helps!

I hope you're feeling much better now, I can't imagen what it would be like to actualy be in an accident and having to deal with it!

x

[Magz2011]

I've started to take it out on my boyfriend! he's bought a new car (exactly the same one as he crashed) and my panic's just taking over! I'm constantly angry with him and I can't tell him why!

I'm starting to feel more panicy then upset! I feel like writing it on here makes me feel better!

The only time i don't think about it is at work, but im being made redundant at the end of this month so I'll be out of work! I feel like i have nothing now, and if I carry on I'll loose everythng! So stupid because it didn't happen to me an I have to be strong for my bf but i feel like I have noone to look after me!

[Lynnann]

Hi Magz2011,

I think it would be perfectly reasonable to explain to your boyfriend how upsetting his new car is; that you see it as a constant reminder of what happened and that you want for both of you to move forward onto happier times.

Keeping busy does help with anxiety and panic, perhaps start looking for a new job or take this opportunity to look into courses to further your career, there are lots of government funded courses you can do if you are made redundant. Is there a dream job that you have always wanted to do but haven't had the qualifications?

Is your boyfriend recieving all the help and support he can get, perhaps a PTSD forum would be helpful to him?

As for whether you have PTSD, have a chat with your doctor, would be a good thing to do anyway as counselling to deal with your experiences would be helpful I am sure.

Hoping today is a good day for you

Lynnann:flowers:

Remember tomorrow is a bright new day

[Magz2011]

Hi Lynnann,

Thank you for the response. I spoke with my boyfriend about everything, I felt so much better for it! Held back a little as I know he can't deal with too much at he moment.

He's seeming to deal with it alot better now, I think the car has helped him more than I thought. Maybe I need to think about what he needs more than what I'm scared of!

I'm still going to go and speak with my doctor though as each time I talk I feel like I can forget it for a while.

Thankyou to all who helped on here, I've never been on a forum before but you really did help!

Thank you again xxx

[JoanneRB]

Hiya,
Know exactly what you are going through, my husband came back from Iraq with PTSD and it totally broke me. I am actually a practising hypnotherapist and it was so frustrating cause I couldn't help him professionally as I would have been too involved. I sent him to an EMDR professional and I am now seeing her myself. It is really helping. You can do a websearch for EMDR in your local area. I find it really hard to talk to my husband about it all and vice versa, so the EMDR lets you processes it without having to! Good luck.

[texel]

A few months ago my boyfriend had a pretty bad car crash, he almost lost his life and was in ITU for a few weeks. His injuries were quite bad, a few months in hospital and now he's out. He's curently suffering from PTSD, he has his up days and down days but he's not himself atall. I'm doing my best to keep everything as normal as possible and stress free, I'm nursing him as best I can and generally doing what a girlfriend should do.

I know he will eventually get better, he's a strong guy and has plenty of friends to get him back on track but I'm starting to worry about myself. The night of the crash I was phoned and arrived while he was still trapped in the car, first of all that was all I could think about for a few weeks. But now I can't let myself think about it at all or I'll brake down and cry again! If I'm on my own then more than not I'll cry and all I think about is my again. I never eve thought about it affecting me, but things aren't getting any easier for me... just worse.

Does anyone know if this means I have PTSD also?
Any advise would be great, I can't talk to my boyfriend about this while he's dealing with so many other problems.

Thanks,
:hugs:


magz you need to go to the doctors pet.stuff like this cant be bottled up and dealt with alone.you need a refferal from your GP.
giz a shout if you need any more guidance.tex