sillygirl
10-01-11, 23:43
Hi,
Sorry if this is too detailed, but I'm freaking out and don't know who to turn to.
I've been reading all the posts over people worried about HIV, and it does help, but I'm still terrified. I had a test 28 days post encounter, which came back negative, along with all the other std tests. my GP thought it was all good and I should stop worrying. I was in tears when I went to my GP initially about these tests too. I don't even remember if anything happened...I had drank too much, woke up next to a random guy, in the 30 sec convo we had when we woke up he didn't remember either. But I was fully dressed, and if he was too drunk nothing probably even happened...of course I still worry, and feel stupid and silly. I know if anything it was oral sex, but that's still risky.
I have had problems with reccurnet yeast infections my whole life, but now suddenly they're a symptom of HIV. I've been so stressed that the typical symptoms that I feel when I'm stressed have appeared, but they're also possibly HIV so that doesn't make it better. Everything from not sleeping and waking up sweating, to loss of appetite, soft BM, a seemingly constant cold, and itchy down there that hasn't been fixed by treating my yeast infection. I'm also forever examining my tounge to see if it looks like it normally does. Which of course I have no idea, since I don't normally look at my toungue. Looking back at my medical history book (right now super glad I keep one), all the symptoms I have now, I had before my encounter in march. I really don't know what to do...and then I realize that my symptoms could be another STD, and I go google it. I have been trying so hard not to google it, but it's right there!
The funny thing is I wasn't worrying about any of this until jan 3, when my bf and I were talking about sex being painful for me, and I decided I should go back to my GP. I have an appointment to talk about all my problems jan 14, I have an appt with the counsellor at school for jan 12, and I've gone for another HIV test, but waiting is killing me!
I think I feel some guilt too, since my BF trusted me to go to a party on my own, and I may have betrayed that trust. No way will I ever tell him if everything comes back negative bc he told me once that if I ever cheated, he would leave me. I wouldn't blame him. I love him so much, we've been together almost three years. Also, I don't want to have exposed him to anything that will have ruined his life as well as mine.
Sorry for the rant, I would appreciate people's thoughts...I really need to get to Friday.
Sorry if this is too detailed, but I'm freaking out and don't know who to turn to.
I've been reading all the posts over people worried about HIV, and it does help, but I'm still terrified. I had a test 28 days post encounter, which came back negative, along with all the other std tests. my GP thought it was all good and I should stop worrying. I was in tears when I went to my GP initially about these tests too. I don't even remember if anything happened...I had drank too much, woke up next to a random guy, in the 30 sec convo we had when we woke up he didn't remember either. But I was fully dressed, and if he was too drunk nothing probably even happened...of course I still worry, and feel stupid and silly. I know if anything it was oral sex, but that's still risky.
I have had problems with reccurnet yeast infections my whole life, but now suddenly they're a symptom of HIV. I've been so stressed that the typical symptoms that I feel when I'm stressed have appeared, but they're also possibly HIV so that doesn't make it better. Everything from not sleeping and waking up sweating, to loss of appetite, soft BM, a seemingly constant cold, and itchy down there that hasn't been fixed by treating my yeast infection. I'm also forever examining my tounge to see if it looks like it normally does. Which of course I have no idea, since I don't normally look at my toungue. Looking back at my medical history book (right now super glad I keep one), all the symptoms I have now, I had before my encounter in march. I really don't know what to do...and then I realize that my symptoms could be another STD, and I go google it. I have been trying so hard not to google it, but it's right there!
The funny thing is I wasn't worrying about any of this until jan 3, when my bf and I were talking about sex being painful for me, and I decided I should go back to my GP. I have an appointment to talk about all my problems jan 14, I have an appt with the counsellor at school for jan 12, and I've gone for another HIV test, but waiting is killing me!
I think I feel some guilt too, since my BF trusted me to go to a party on my own, and I may have betrayed that trust. No way will I ever tell him if everything comes back negative bc he told me once that if I ever cheated, he would leave me. I wouldn't blame him. I love him so much, we've been together almost three years. Also, I don't want to have exposed him to anything that will have ruined his life as well as mine.
Sorry for the rant, I would appreciate people's thoughts...I really need to get to Friday.