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Susanw
11-01-11, 15:30
Had a visit at the medical cent to see the cpn. She was very nice, let me talk and even walk round her room as hip and knees very sore today, She spoke about my pnt and the suicide attempt I had, I cant remember it myself, but think I took tablets,,long time ago,,but im so glad they got to me in time as was in icu for a few days. I have watched my kids grow up,,got my first dog champ and a few since,,I would never have seen my son play for his football team and growing up so fast. My daughter loves drama, the school thinks she could go far,,she also wants to train for the police,,so why the hell am I back to square 1 again. I love being a mum, love my husband, he my best mate after my wee dog :yesyes:

My score card the cpn did was not a good score, did one about 6 weeks ago. I just cant seem to get rid of this feeling, like I was a long time ago, I realy dont want to die,,I love my family to bits,,told the cpn the truth, all my thoughts and what I want is to be normal again. Im scared inscase I do what I did before although I told her would not do tablets as it never work,,and Im glad it never worked,,I have a great family life,,yes im sore a lot,,with my spine etc,,stuipd car accident, but that happened in 1993,,so used to the pain and can cope with it.,I have read a lot of todays posts and know a hell of a lot of people and feeling just the same as me. Im going to fight this and watch my son play for Scotland and my daughter either on the tv,,or putting bad guys behind bars. Im now going to try and focus on the futre,,might not work, but going to do my best for my family

mr badger
11-01-11, 15:52
Hi Susan

Shame things aren't going well at the moment

Did the CPN have any guidance for you?

Susanw
11-01-11, 22:54
I see her in a week,,,got a cd to relax,,mot helping yet, but my first day,,,I want to get better, but got not too good thoughts,,wants them to go as want to watch my kids grow up,,i realy feel like i did 10yrs ago,,want the thought to go away, but panic, being sick a lot does not help much. Im a bloody strong person,,will fight this again,,hubby standing by me again,,did think he would walk away as he been throught this twice,,i dont remember much about them,I want to be normal again,not much to ask

mr badger
12-01-11, 08:50
Chin up Susan. You've done it before, you'll do it again. Sounds as though you've got a strong marriage - that's my rock at the moment.

And as for normal, never met a normal person.