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View Full Version : Constant Worry of Loosing Vision or Control of Body?



milkcarton
12-01-11, 10:59
Hi All,

Does anyone suffer the worry of loosing vision or control of body?

I think this is my biggest worry with HA at the moment (along with other symptoms that come and go for other illnesses), these symptoms persist in my mind nearly 90% of the time.

I always fear loosing control of my body as if I can't move or I am paralysed (I guess like having a stroke). People may notice that I jerk around in my seat a lot of the time, does anyone else experience this? It's also worse in flourescent lighting for some bizarre reason, like in my office or on the tube.

Which leads me on to my next biggest fear, loosing my vision! I have experienced 3 migraine with auras in the space of 2 months back in October and ever since I have the fear of experiencing another. I have been put on Propranolol for this, and touch wood, I have not had a visual disturbance as bad since. However, that still does not stop me freaking out to when the next one is.

I have noticed recently that if I think about seeing black spots or wavy lines, lo and behold, I do (though not to the extremity of an aura)! I work in an office which has greyish white walls and indoor lighting, everytime I look up to the wall I see waves, lines, blobs, spots....Also, I convince myself that I cannot read a word and therefore think that I most certainly am destinded for another Aura headache as that is how the symptom starts. Either that or I think I have a brain tumour, I can't read at the moment wqithout thinking that I cannot see the word or sentence properly and I loose focus easily.

I constantly live in fear of my next migraine with aura and even my vision plays tricks on me. Please tell me that I am not the only one that has this constant worry! I hate it :( it prevents me from doing normal day activities without thinking of wavy lines or am I able to walk okay.

I also get days where I have bad vertigo, usually when I am outside walking on a dull, cloudy day or a very sunny day. Again, the vertigo is horrid and I think of that when I look out at the weather before leaving the house!!

phoebe
13-01-11, 21:28
Hi,

I can totally relate to your fear of getting another migraine with aura, it was like I had written that part myself!

I've had migraines with aura since I was 11(am 30 now), I'd say I get maybe 5 or 6 a year but towards the end of last year I ws getting one every 3 or 4 weeks. I find that unless my mind is occupied I am always worrying about getting the next migraine, like you, I'll look at words or maybe a wall and think that I can't see it right and that I've got a migraine coming. I do this alot, I actually really annoy myself by doing it but I guess its just the way I roll!

Migraines with aura are horrible and even after having them for all these years I still get panicky when I have one. As soon as I get the horrible moving zig zaggy lines I have to go to bed, I don't want to open my eyes until its gone!

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone on this worry and hard as it is try not to be scared of the horrible visual disturbances:)

Phoebs x

westofengland
13-01-11, 22:50
Interesting you use the word 'control' a lot - they think OCD and health anxiety is about an excessive need to control the future and reveals a low tolerance of uncertainty

Not saying you are imagining your symptoms but I think the 'control' point is interesting. I am certainly a control freak in other areas of my life too.

If you have been to see a neurologist or had a brain scan and it's all clear, maybe it's worth trying to work on the psychological issues? It sounds like you are worried about the big bad illnesses like brain tumour and stroke, and they can test for these quite easily I would have thought