fiance scaring me, im having bad panic

[miss_moose]

I'm not the tidiest person in the world but i thought i'd help, it started because there was a bin bag in the kitchen, i dont like touching ones that have raw meat packets in, and this one has a bacon packet in.
So i opened a fresh bag and put things in that.

Anyway, he started yelling at me for doing this, and has been stomping around the house.

Then i took some dirty plates into the kitchen and put them on the worktop. He comes in and see's that i havent stacked them in order of size, and has just picked them up and smashed them down on the worktop, screaming at me.

he's in shower now and im in floods of tears, my chest really hurts and i cant catch my breath, hyperventlating. im really scared and i dont know what to do

[anx mum]

I'm not the tidiest person in the world but i thought i'd help, it started because there was a bin bag in the kitchen, i dont like touching ones that have raw meat packets in, and this one has a bacon packet in.
So i opened a fresh bag and put things in that.

Anyway, he started yelling at me for doing this, and has been stomping around the house.

Then i took some dirty plates into the kitchen and put them on the worktop. He comes in and see's that i havent stacked them in order of size, and has just picked them up and smashed them down on the worktop, screaming at me.

he's in shower now and im in floods of tears, my chest really hurts and i cant catch my breath, hyperventlating. im really scared and i dont know what to do

Hiya hun u ok? Know how u feel im having panic attacks and hyperventlating is awful scares me. Whys he so angry?

[Del1970]

Is it you he is angry with Miss Moose or has something else upset him and he is taking it out on you?

On the other hand IF he has anger issues and you feeling so upset and hyperventilating I'd go for a walk, take deep breaths to calm yourself/visit a friend or family until he cools off then talk it over when you are both more relaxed.

Hope you are feeling better soon.
x

[JT69]

Hi Miss Moose, hope you o.k now??

Sounds like he has issues of his own...but shouldn't take them out on you hun. Does he not know that you suffer panic etc??

Try and take deep breaths and as Del says go for a walk if you can and that will help calm you down.

Sending you a big hug:hugs:

Jo.xx

[Nigel]

Hi miss_moose,

I’m sorry :hugs:

Try not to take it personally though. If your fiance isn’t normally like that, he’s probably having a bad day about something. Perhaps these things were the final straw, or maybe they gave him an outlet for his frustration because he felt unable to talk about the real issue. I know I sometimes do that – have a bit of a rant about something only loosely connected with what’s really troubling me because I don’t feel able to talk about the real issues.

It’s probably best to give him some space for now – he’s probably not in the best emotional state to sit and talk about it right now. However, it’s not the basis for a long and happy relationship, so it would be good to talk about it at some point when things have calmed down. But try to keep the conversation about yourself. Talk about how it made you feel, and what you would have liked to happen, and how you would like things to happen if that situation were to arise in the future. Try not to talk about him and what he did. That way he doesn’t have to explain or defend himself, and your words will stand a better chance of sinking in.

Hope things are a bit calmer for you both now.

Take care :)
Nigel

[miss_moose]

Thank you all so much for your comfort and advice. He tried to talk to me after i posted, but he just shouted at me again and couldnt understand why i was sobbing and hyperventilating. He tried to clear the air and explained why he blew up, but wont except he has anger issues. I told him no one has ever made me that frightend, i have alot of panic attacks and i havent had one as bad as that in years. I also told him i don't care how angry he is, he's not treating me like S**t like that again. and no matter what he says, his actions werent justifiable.

He went out to work about half an hour after and he's due home soon, so we havent really had time to talk, just had time out from eachother. So when he left it was kind of wierd. he said we'd talk about it when he gets back but whether we will or not is a different story, i just hope it doesn't end up in another argument.

Again, thank you all so much:hugs:

[gaaron]

:hugs:xx

[Anxious_gal]

Thank you all so much for your comfort and advice. He tried to talk to me after i posted, but he just shouted at me again and couldnt understand why i was sobbing and hyperventilating. He tried to clear the air and explained why he blew up, but wont except he has anger issues. I told him no one has ever made me that frightend, i have alot of panic attacks and i havent had one as bad as that in years. I also told him i don't care how angry he is, he's not treating me like S**t like that again. and no matter what he says, his actions werent justifiable.

He went out to work about half an hour after and he's due home soon, so we havent really had time to talk, just had time out from eachother. So when he left it was kind of wierd. he said we'd talk about it when he gets back but whether we will or not is a different story, i just hope it doesn't end up in another argument.

Again, thank you all so much:hugs:

wow well done for standing up for yourself. your right he was way out of order and I hate hate hate when people say worry without being fully aware of how their actions and choices hurt the other person.
I am impressed by your view on the situation, how you told like it happened, you didn't make excuses for his behavior and you held him accountable for his actions.

hope your ok x I am sorry that someone you trusted scared you x

[Captain Caveman]

I also told him i don't care how angry he is, he's not treating me like S**t like that again. and no matter what he says, his actions werent justifiable.


:yesyes:I agree with Mischel. Well done for standing up for yourself. Everyone on earth is equal and no-one deserves to be treated like crap. No-one is perfect and we've all lost our cool, but it doesn't make it right.


he said we'd talk about it when he gets back but whether we will or not is a different story, i just hope it doesn't end up in another argument.


It's good of him though to be willing to talk about it. So hopefully it doesn't end in another argument. Keep standing up for yourself.