Do I Don't I

[countrygirl]

I have been posting about the weird head sensations while trying to fall asleep and getting into a right old panic - once I realised how bad the panic was and calmed down with great help of you on this board I have felt better - still getting the sensations but not panicking about them.

When I saw my GP in such a state at beg of week - he said he was certain that the sensations were an anxiety reaction- he has already ruled out an adrenal tumour. One thing I did bring up with him was that 2 yrs ago when I had a mri head scan they found a tiny cyst on my brainstem that was probably causing the pulse in my ear all the time that I had developed ( the scan was to rule out my fear of a dangerous artery in brain). The results were sent to a neurosurgeon who said so what, loads of people have small cysts on their brain - nothing we do about them and said just forget it.

I reminded my Gp of the cyst and said I was worrying it had got bigger and this was causing the sensation and he said no way but I insisted I be re scanned and he said only if you are willing to pay for it yourself as he could not arrange it on NHS.

I have now got an appt for private mri in two weeks time but now I have calmed down I don't think I need one as I had these symptoms over 8 yrs ago and I am still here!!

One half of me says cancel the scan - I am terrified of scanner and it costs nearly £300 but the HA bit says what if what if what if - the silly thing is that even if it showed a huge cyst because of where it is there would be nothing they could do anyway so why bother.

Arghhhhhh!

[Frozen in fear]

I keep getting worried about brain tumour i now keep get ringing in my ears its getting me even more down

[Captain Caveman]

Hi countrygirl. Going off what you have written, I would say cancel the appointment. You have to draw the line somewhere. You will do your head in if you continously go off for scans to every part of your body that produces some sort of symptom. That doesn't mean you never for the rest of your life visit the doc or get a scan, but going off what I'm reading, I would say you could do with learning to accept that we can't always be looking for 100% certainty on everthing. We gotta take risks and live with some uncertainty in life.

[Horse]

Countrygirl.

My Dear Friend, you've have said it yourself!

'If they do find something, there's nothing that can be done anyway'.

My thoughts on this one is therefore, forget about it and worry about another symptom instead!

For example, this morning I have so far had no pain from my stomach as yet, but instead I awoke to a somewhat persisitant tickly cough.
Therefore, I obviously have Throat Cancer today and will probably before too long be infront of the bathroom mirror with torch and mouth open wide, whereupon I will see nothing unusual at the back of my throat, but instead will more than likely notice that my gums are more red than they were 20 years ago! I will, quite understanderbly so, start to panic being as it is Saturday and the Doctor and Dentist is shut (how inconsiderate)!

So now I have Gum Disease and decide to give them a good brushing followed by floss and a good rinse with Mouthwash. All goes well until the floss causes some bleeding which results in pink saliva! Now we have a major problem in a sense that I am going to bleed to death because I've flossed. Manage to supress bleeding gum by a good couple of rinses of mouthwash whereby I accidently swallow some. Now feel like I've swallowed a javellin! Read back of bottle which states 'Do not swallow'. So instead of bleeding to death, I've now just sodding poisoned myself. Begin to feel dizzy and see allsorts of flashing stars and hear muffled sounds. The last time I had this was back in the sixties after smoking some 'medicinal tobacco' but that was intentional.

Should I call for an ambulance? Hang on, the place is really untidy, what will they think when they come in? Decide to hoover and clean up incase I do call them. Heart now pounding and the odd palpatation is coming. Even more reason to hoover because I really might need an ambulance as I'm going to have a heart attack as well now! My thoughts are sidetracked as I hear the letterbox go. Open a letter which reads....'Have I wondered what would happen to my family if I were to suddenly die'!
Yes, what little family I have but never see would sell the house in a week and have a bloody good time at my expense!

Suddenly realise that tickly cough has died down, gums have stopped bleeding, javellin in stomach has disappeared, my breath is nice and fresh (especially when I burp), the dizziness and muffled hearing has gone and my ticker seems to be ticking normally and it's only 10.30am.

Now then, what can I give myself to worry about this afternoon?

Horse.

[scaredstiff695]

horse
i love your post you have njust in one post described us with health anxiety.

my cbt said to me when we notice thats its anxiety we have to keep reminding ourselves dont let the anxiety slip back into our minds dstraction distraction and relaxation.

countrygrl

i have to agree where do you draw the line ive never had any tests done mri or anything the mere thought scares the living delights out of me but the rational side of you is telling you you dont need this test so follow that cos if you follow the anxiety side you will just feed it xx if your doctor was at all worried you would be having it doneon nhs xxxx

[Nigel]

Hi Countrygirl,

£300 :eek:
Eeek!! :ohmy:
That would make me panic :w00t2:

I’m pleased that you’re feeling a lot better now you aren’t worrying about things as much. I think there’s a very good lesson in there somewhere :winks:

I agree with what others have said – I think the scan would be an attempt to have 100% certainty that everything was alright. It would no doubt do that today – for a few weeks even – then what if???

What if they missed something...
What if it didn’t show up but now it’s got worse...
What if something new has developed and they didn’t check for that...
What if... what if... what if...

I think a better way is to seek reasonable assurance – as you have by talking to your GP – then to learn to live with just a small amount of uncertainty. What might help though is to ask him to explain to you why he feels so certain there’s nothing to worry about. He’s obviously pretty certain because he wouldn’t risk being wrong, with all the consequences that would entail. That would probably be as big an issue for him as this is for you.

I think it’s the uncertainty that’s causing so much anxiety, and if he could pass on a little of his wisdom I think it would then be easy for you to trust him and accept what he says. You just need to understand before you can believe.

For example, I don’t understand a lot of medical stuff but one of my uneducated thoughts would be, why would a nasty in the brain only cause a symptom at that one specific time? Wouldn’t it occur at random times throughout the day/night?

Keep doing what you’re doing, and I’m sure that once your mind gets used to the idea of not panicking about the symptoms, they’ll soon start to subside.

Take care :)
Nigel


ps.. Horse :roflmao:

[countrygirl]

Thanks everyone - horse I printed out your reply for my husband - he kept thumping the desk saying yes thats you while laughing horribly:blush::blush:

Nigel - agree with everything you and other have said - I think I will go back to my GP next week when I am not a panicky wreck and ask him what he thinks about cancelling the appt - I have plenty of time to cancel as you only have to give 48 hrs notice. The only thing sabotaging me at moment is what if the scan picks up something new that I need to knwo about like a brain tumour:shrug::shrug:oh how I hate the what ifs

[Nigel]

“The only thing sabotaging me at moment is what if the scan picks up something new that I need to know about like a brain tumour”

That’s the problem, isn’t it?
But be the doctor for a moment...

If he assumed you were fine and turned your request for a scan down, and said, “Don’t worry,” and it turned out that you did have something serious, the consequences for him would be very severe. Lots of inquiries and difficult questions, a severely dented reputation, probably bad stories in the press, and possibly the loss of his career. Lots of pretty serious ‘what ifs’ for him too.

He, however, doesn’t seem concerned, and that’s because he knows things that you don’t. Things that assure him that he’s right. That’s why I think asking him to explain his reasons will go along way to giving you that reassurance you’re seeking.

Take care :)
Nigel