Ive had enough

[Chrismascray]

Hi all, not been on for a while now, used to memo on here because I had Cancer or was about to have a heart attack, palpitations missed heart beats etc, all cleared up after tests of course. Just started to see the wood for the trees and now a back ache, continuing now for a month or so. Wife thinks it is the cowboy boots I wear, added to my age 53, but I cant get stomach lung kidney liver or any other organ I can think of being Cancerous. I saw a CBT person some time ago, she was ok, helped me see a lot of things concerning my Father and how I was to blame for most things, ok so I took that on board, oh I am rambling now, I just want to be me, be worry free be less of a burden on people, I cant keep going to the Doctor asking if this is that or that, I cant fear seeing the Doc because I fear tests, even though all have been fine so far, but it could be this one, and any way why send me for tests, they must think it is something, sometimes you know, I just want to go to sleep and stay a sleep, I dont worry when I am a sleep. my back doesnt ache in the middle, like I had a cancer, I dont worry others, I dont pester others, I just want to go to sleep. Sorry folks, I need to talk, albeit via this site, I need to feel someone is listening, I really want to hear that my back pain / ache is muscualr and perhaps even stress related, I want to be ....me.

[scaredstiff695]

come on you can do this,
to post on here you must no deep down its anxiety you cna beat this we all can.
stay positive stay strong.
im a compulsaive worrier about my health it breaks me down too.
you have what sounds like a very supportive wife iof you were asleep you wouldnt get to see her pretty smiling face x
you are you you just have something invading your mind (thats how i like to think of it every ones diff) get rid of it youve done it before keep strong x

[Frozen in fear]

Is so hard day arfter day feeling rubbish we all have to keep going

[playman44]

you sound so much like me ,i love being asleep,its a release from the worry and the pressure and the anxiety ,im dying of a heart attack ten times a day ,it gets so bad i have all the phsical symptoms with the fear ,but im still here so ,i must have been wrong ,but it does not stop the worry ,be strong my friend ,i try to be for my family ,and remember your still here

[holly1986]

well first off CONGRATULATIONS youve just done 3 things;
believed that what you have is anxiety
hit a brick wall and realised you need to fight back
and finally, youve asked for help.

youre already half way there, youre doing so well and you should be proud of yourself. Anxiety is something that plagues each and every one of us on here and we know how you feel. everything you have weve had.

The backache is tension of muscles because youve been (unknowingly) tensing your back muscles and now its prolonged the recovery. please realise youre not being stupid or daft but please realise that what youre going through is temporary and will pass.

i have GAD and it sucks im 24 years old and the last 4 years has been a blur ive missed whats supposed to be some of the best years of my life and its still ongoing. But the times when im okay and not plagued by anxiety and fear are what im fighting for because that feeling of knowing im ok is the best feeling in the world. Ive ruined 4 years of my life and burdened my family for that time also but it is something I KNOW i can do - the tears will be dry soon. We all can get through this so well done on how far youve come so far.

x

[Chrismascray]

Thank you asll so much, taking the time to help someone none of you know means an awful lot to me, your words and a sense in your replies of care are special, thank you all, I truly hope you all find the peace and you all seek, yesterday when I posted was a bad day, I have burdened my poor wife for so many years I feel guilty going on and on to her, to her credit she never says no or Ipasses it off as nothing, but in my heart I feel guilty so my rant yesterday was , well it was what it was, and you kind people have helped me, thank you.

[gaaron]

:hugs:, it's the cowboy boots I worry about :D. Try not to feel guilty it just adds to the strain (I know it's easier said than done) x

[macc noodle]

OMG - now I am worried - I have had mid back pain for about a month now - does this mean I have a cancer?
:scared15:

[Greenman50]

I,ve done the back ache worry today , a pain in my side for nearly an hour , the panick set in for it only to be constipation from the meds .

Any ache or pain i get its Cancer , i was alright for 45 years , all this has only come on in the last three months , Dr google (should have seen this site first) has really done my swede in big time , never again .

I,m sure its just a pulled muscle , i know loads of people inc my wife who has back ache that comes and goes