very very scared :(

[miniholly]

hi everyone, me again to pester you all lol.
but i've recently got yet another lymphoma worry, for well over 2 years now i've had a few lymph nodes swell up in my neck area, of course me being me i've started thinking the worst yet again after going MONTHS without even bothering about worrying about them, i'm so gutted with myself for giving into HA again but im in such a state of worry :(
i do have a left sided pain, of course in my head it means lymphoma but surely after 2 years i'd get more symptoms? i feel great, doctors and nurses have examined my lymph nodes felt them and said they're fine and they haven't grown, should i be worried? :( i keep telling myself after over 2 years surely a doctor would've mentioned if they thought it was serious, and believe me i've seen loads of doctors in the past 2 years. its such a scary thought, i need so much reassurance :'( xxx

[Greenman50]

Sounds a bit like me in October , i first went the docs with a chest pain just on one side , they said it was a muscle , i then got swollen glands in my neck and a sore throat for months , then a node under my arm came up . I was bricking it and got sent the hospital (only man in the breast clinic !) , they checked my nodes under my arms (only one was swollen) but it had gone down and the scan was clear , i also had a stiff neck , ear eache and head pains .
They all went away about three days after the hospital appointment but i was convinced i was dieing for weeks .
Also if you have been checked as you have, why would you not be fine . I,ve thought i,ve had 4 types of cancer , includeing the above in the last three months and ended up off work and ill with worry . I go from one thing to another . I,ve just started with this health anxiety thing and its terrible i feel i,ve lost three months of my life .

Can i ask , do you keep feeling and checking the lymph nodes , looking in the mirror , checking etc... , i did under my arms and the more i proded the more sore everything got , i don,t look anymore as i know if i did i would get the hot and cold flush feeling and be checking under each arm all night to see if i could feel anything .

[miniholly]

im sorry to hear about your HA :( its so awful, i've had mine on and off for 3 years now with my main worry being lymphoma so you're not alone. last year i had the biggest panic attack its left me with a persistent muscle tension pain going from my back wrapping around to my front, when it first started i googled it (like most silly HA sufferers like myself do!) and it was of course a symptom of lymphoma, so being in a mad panic i rushed myself to the doctors claiming it was a huge emergency, my doctor felt around the area and felt nothing and said it was more than likely just muscle tension! my mum who's a nurse has said the same thing too, its slowly getting better but sadly its taking a while. and i do of course check, prod and look at my lymph nodes in the mirror, i've asked other people to feel them but people can't feel anything! i feel as though i'm going mad...

[Greenman50]

Your not going mad , i drove myself up the wall the last couple of months .

I know its so difficult , but as you have had a clean bill of health you must stop checking and proding :yesyes:

I used to look at my throat aswell everday and hated takeing a shower incase i felt a lump anywhere on my body , sad eh !! But at the time i couldn,t help it .

I,m determined to beat this , with a fresh start tommorow , but it isn,t easy when something gets stuck in your head .

Your fine , enjoy tommorow :D

ps....Dr google started my HA , i spent days and days on there , big mistake by me .

[wherefromhere]

Dear Miniholly. I am sorry to hear you have the dreaded HA, I have it too and worry all the time :-(
Mine started not long after I had my first baby which was 4 years ago now. Whilst I was pregnant I developed nodes under my arms that have never really gone. I feel for them a lot and am now worried that I have had a sore throat for what seems like ages. I also have a wierd aching under my armpit. I drive myself crazy with worry. I am going to try and stop fighting the feelings as sometimes fighting them and trying to find an answer makes me worse. I do know the worse thing you can do is look up on google, but I do this sometimes and convince myself I am dying. I hope you are feeling better.
It is nice to have so many people that want to help you on here.
Much Love
Tara

[miniholly]

thank you both :-)
i have a total of 9 lymph nodes on my neck so of course it sent me into a total frenzy when i counted how many there were! i only thought 1 lymph node would swell up if you were ill so of course i put my 9 lymph nodes down to lymphoma seeing as in my eyes nothing else could surely cause it! but according to my doctor i'm fine, it just scares me they haven't gone down yet after 2 years :( but i've read some posts on here and some people have had them for more than that! so i guess i really should start believing im okay... xx