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Alan35
16-03-04, 15:59
Hello, this is my first post, just needed to write something down about the way I have been feeling lately and hopefully get some advice on what to do next.

I am 35 years old, self employed as a graphic designer, A job which I love doing, things are going great, so I should be happy, there are a few stresses related to running your own business but nothing that is complicated.

My wife is expecting our second child, it was unexpected but I found out months ago and never had any negative feeling about it.

Our lifestyle is good, never been more financially secure.

In fact life is pretty good

So why am I getting these horrible attacks.

First one happened about 2 years ago in Spain, long hot day in the sun, felt a bit funny around teatime, 1 hr later I was in a Spanish hospital, convinced I was dyeing, couldn’t breath, insulting the Spanish GP who was actually a very pleasant guy, he gave me valium and fluids through a drip - diagnosis heat stroke.

Got back to the UK 1st day back another attack, drove to hospital 2am feeling like I had drunk 10 pints, just to be told "go home".

Then nothing for 2 years

Then last Thursday I woke at 2am, needed the toilet, went back to bed and started to think about things, worrying little things not serious but they started to come in floods, they were way out of proportion, hot flushes, sweating, got worse when I closed my eyes, chest tightens, cant breathe, heart attack imminent (I thought), more thoughts about dyeing, started to think of who would be affected by this, started to think who would care. Jump out of bed started to try and explain what was happening to my wife, who looked terrified, I demanded she phone the hospital, which she did, we had some diazepam in the medical box, hospital recommended I take 1 to calm me down, I took 3, fell asleep, woke at 11am felt very relaxed and thought how could I possibly feel the way I did, It was such a detached from reality feeling, was I going mad?

Friday was fine, Saturday was fine, Sunday driving back from Edinburgh, listening to some depressing program about Iraq, BANG another attack, felt completely drunk, but did not want to stop driving, just wanted to get home, petrified at junctions, queues of cars behind me beeping because I was so hesitant at junctions and roundabouts, got home eventually, more pills, fell asleep, again woke up thinking this is just crazy.

Monday at work, another attack from nowhere, this time I felt like I had flu, shivering, got appointment with GP that day.

GP had this depression sheet, asked me to look at it and match symptoms, everything had a familiar feel, but I had encountered everything on the sheet at some point in my life, it was basic questions like "do you feel tired and drained", ok yes I had but doesn’t everyone from time to time. Anyway he didn’t examine me just prescribed more diazepam and a general anti-biotic to help cure any little thing that may be wrong with me.

That night another attack despite the medication, again on phone to emergency hospital line demanding an appointment, felt like a total hypochondriac, they told me to come into A&E, I fell asleep didn’t go.

Took rest of week off work and didn’t leave the house, felt safe, no more bad attacks, just hints, slept loads 18 hours per day at least.

Back to work on Monday fine, Tuesday 1pm another bad attack.

Ok I know that the attacks don’t last, but they are terrifying and I worry each time that reality will never be the same.

All I want is to get back into the groove!

Thanks for reading
Alan

nomorepanic
16-03-04, 16:18
Hi Alan

Welcome to the message forum - you will get loads of support and help on here.

Sorry to hear about the panics - we can all sympathise cos we have all been there.

A couple of things I wanted to say -

Diazepam is great for stopping panic and calming you down but you do not want to get reliant on it. A few people on here will tell you the horrors of addiction caused by valium etc.

Did the doctor offer any other form of help such as CBT or counselling?

Try keeping a daily diary and writing down how you feel and especially when you get the panics.

If you think it may be stress related (in any shape or form) then hypnotherapy may help that. Also get yourself some relaxation tapes and play them every day.

Take a look at the Natural Remedies page on the website - particularly about the Bach Flowers (Rescue Remedy) - these will help relieve the symptoms of panic.

Please try and get control of it now before it takes over your life and the panic takes over.

Good luck and let us know if we can help anymore.

Nicola

Meg
16-03-04, 16:31
Dear Alan,

I'm always sorry to read that someone else is suffering as we all have done or are still doing so depending on circumstances, but am pleased that you've found your way here where you are entirely understood.

Thanks for the detailed information , it helps enormously so we can comment being aware of the situation.

You have already recognised the main cause of your attacks...

'went back to bed and started to think about things, worrying little things not serious but they started to come in floods, they were way out of proportion.' Irrational thinking is at the cause of 70% of panic attacks, the rest are chemiocally induced - caffiene, recreational drugs, low glucose etc .

It's worth at this point easing up on the coffee and alcohol if you think either of these are excessive in your life, ensuring you get some sort of food - complex carbohrydrate about every 3 hours and start a vit B complex and Omega 3. This is just to give you the correct balances so you can move forward.

Heavy Distraction is the key when you are heading into an attack, something that competely absorbs you (R sided brain stuff is best ) and totally ignore your symptoms . Horrible and sounds illogical but it works . If you feel like you're about to die, agree with yourself that you'll wait 20 mins and see how you are then before summonsing help. It does pass without help. Rescue remedy can take the edge off for you.

Once you've learnt you can control them , then move on to changing your thought processes . CBT is the therapy of choice, You can do this yourself but might want a couple of sessions from a practicioner until you get the hang of it. Its not totally about positive thinking but more keeping the thoughts rational and not allowing yourself to go down the downward thought spiral .

Do have a hunt round on the home pages here - there is loads of information and help.
Post again and let us know how you are and any other questions or queries you may< have.

We've all thougt we're going mad , bad, insane, cracking up, dying but none of us ever have ....and neither will you.





Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

me
16-03-04, 22:19
Hi alan oh ive just read your message, oh we all know what your going through its so awful but hang in there, this site is so good i cant praise it enough it helps me so so much and everyone is so understanding. ive been taking diazepam too but only on the really really bad days.ive been taking the vit b complex and the omega 3 which meg told me about and cut out lots of the rubbish i normally eat and im sure it has helped. take care from mary

Alan35
17-03-04, 00:04
Thanks for the replies, its a small comfort to know other people have had similar experiences.

My first post was written 30 mins after an attack and I was still kind of light headed when writing it.

In answer to a a few questions that were raised;

I drink lots of coffee 8-10 cups a day, always have since my early twenties.

I hardly ever drink, the odd glass of wine with a special meal but months can go by without touching the stuff. I do however smoke occasionally, maybe 4 a day, have never been able to quit totally.

My GP did not mention counselling, just told me to wait a few weeks and see if things got better, this seems perfectly rational when im not having attacks, but during an attack I just want help and I start feeling he should have done more.

Close friends and family (the ones who know that i am having these attacks) show concern and re-assure me things will be ok, but I worry what they think.

Anyway I will spend sometime having a look through other peoples experiences and reading about ways to help myself. Its all a bit confusing and my life is so busy already.

When do these attacks occur for most people? I have always spent the time just before falling asleep at night thinking about things and i feel a bit hot if something is particualrly bothering me, but it always seems better in the morning. My friends say this the same for them but none have ever had attacks.

I guess i will be asking lots of questions of you all, but it feels good to talk about things with people who know.

Meg
17-03-04, 08:31
Please wean the coffee down slowly as you can feel withdrawal symtoms if you cut it down too quickly, but you will feel better for it. Its a major stimulant and will be assisting your heart to race at the drop of a hat. The cigs and drink at your level really don't matter so just carry on.


Sleep is the best way to ward off an attack if you can relax enough to drop off as by morning often the obsessive thought have gone and you're kind of reset.

The attacks will come anytime and any place you're allowing irrational scary thoughts to intrude and get hold. Please do not start avoiding anywhere.

A journal of thoughts, feelings and events really helps track what your pattern is...






Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

nomorepanic
17-03-04, 20:53
Alan

Cuttinh out caffeine definitely helped me too. I think the decaf variety is just as good so I can still enjoy a cuppa occasionally.

Watch out for fizzy drinks with it in too - including red bull, coke, lucozade, irn bru etc.

Wishing you well and let us know if you need any help on finding things on here.

Nicola

uryjm
21-03-04, 20:32
Hi Alan
Coffee can make me feel edgy and depersonalised, which is a pity because I think I drink about as much as you do! It can also give me heart palpatations, so everything in moderation is the best advice.
Where do panic attacks come from? Ah, now there's a question that has plagued just about everyone on this site I think. It's difficult to find similar threads that connect us all except for the fact that we all suffer from the attacks. Unfortunately. On the other hand, not only can you learn to live with anxiety and panic, but in trying to understand "why me?" you can learn a lot of positive stuff about yourself, the way you live your life and the way you look at the world. Which is why I'd thoroughly recommend you keep a diary - one day it will keep you, as Mae West said. Good luck.

Jim

red
21-03-04, 23:58
Hi Alan
Welcome to the site! You have probably found loads of stuff to help you through your 'symptoms' by now and I hope that you are coping a lot better.

Why are you getting these horrible attacks? Well, sometimes that is like asking "how long is a piece of string?" One day we are fine and have never experienced anything like it, then wham! The thing to remember is that, if you work on it, it won't be forever, it won't kill you and you are not mad. Finding triggers helps an awful lot, so the diary (although found boring by some) is a really good tool and will give a great history to work on eventually.

Work on the hints and tips for relieving an attack, follow the dietry advice, exercise and relax - all regularly, then reap the massive benefits!

Good luck with it, and remember - you are in good company here. Take care.

Red
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