i am oh so shocked......

[calm]

hi friends as you know i have been battling HA/panic attacks since june last year.

my daughter is not too well again - she hasnt been right for months and we are seeing the consultant at the hospital once again in february.

today my husband and mum-in-law said that they think kerrylouise's illness all is down to me and my problems!!!!!!

i feel such a huge failure! how could they be so cruel!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am there for my daughter 24/7 my hubbie works away alot and i do it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:weep::weep::weep:

[Anxious_gal]

no no no :lac: don't blame your self it's not your fault :weep:

I sorta understand, my family for a long time blamed my mothers alcohol addiction on me!!
But I knew enough about alcoholism to know it was not my fault.

people can be unbelievably ignorant and narrow minded at times.
people have a need to blame a person for things they cannot control.

my mother blamed me and so did the whole family..... I understand in a way how it hurts when people close to you almost gang up on you :weep: and say hurtful things.

your her mother you want whats best for her and you would never hurt her x

it's awful for anyone to think for one second what your husband and his mother thought.

I know its hard but what helped me is to stand back and look at my family from a psychologist's point of view and try not to to let them make me feel bad about myself.
don't ever let anyone tell you , who you are or how to feel.

in order to help your daughter you need to look after you and really love yourself :hugs:

like on a plane you always put the oxygen ask on yourself so you can then help others to put on theirs x

I hope things improve for you x

what illness does she have? if it's ok for me to ask? but please don't tell me unless its ok with you :hugs:

[willitstop]

how dare they put blame on you :(
do not blame yourself its not your fault xx

[calm]

thank you oh so much for your comments....you dont know how you have made me feel...thank you from the bottom of my heart.

yes you are right...i need to love myself which at the moment i do not - but both your words have made me feel so much stronger xxxx thank you xxxxxx

[Vanilla Sky]

It's so easy for others to blame someone else , it takes the heat of them.
It is not you fault ,
Love and hugs to you :hugs::hugs:
Paige xx

[tracey c]

This is not your fault, you are a great and loving mum and everyone here knows that!
You have been doing so well recently, please don't let their comments knock you back - you know they are wrong - how can a medical problem be your fault.
You provide love and support for Kerrylouise - its cruel for them to say what they did, but you have to try and ignore it - THEY ARE WRONG!
Carry on being the great person and friend you are and stay on your recovery journey.
Take care, thinking of you,
Tracey :hugs:

[calm]

paige and tracey...thank you im going to read all these comments again and again and again xxxxx they give me such strength.

i feel very wobbly today i am trying to be everything to everyone.....im sure you know where i am coming from xxxxxx

love you all loads and thank you....here for you anytime you need me xxxxxx but you know that anyway xxxxxxx

[Nigel]

Hi Calm,

That’s so unfair! If anything, you could probably say the opposite – that your daughter’s illness triggered some of your HA. Nobody is to blame for anything.

Well done for all your recent progress :yesyes:
I know things have been improving because you haven’t been around as much :winks:

Best of luck to you and Kerrylouise :hugs:
Nigel

[Hazel B]

My goodness, you do NOT deserve comments like that, how insensitive!

You've made brilliant progress, try to put this behind you and keep moving on and upwards. Take care.

:hugs:x

[calm]

thank you my dear friends...i have had a major blip...really ha which has been awful but thank you for being here for me xxxxx it is so appreciated xxxxx