Is it me

[sal]

just split with my partner, couldnt integrate my daughter and his daughter togehter living in one home. We been together for two years and he moved out yesterday into his own home but we still going to see each other. I miss him like mad but hate the fact he always had a go at my daughter when his was no different or if worse but he couldnt see that. Hurting so much and feel myself slipping back into the anxiety and depression and crying al the time. Know ive got throught it before but im scared, what if i dont this time. And is it my fault am i blind to how mh daughter is, i cant see her as badness but know she isnt perfect. Questioning everything i believe in since i got back on track and cant cope x

[Anxious_gal]

Aw I am sorry.
I don't know if my reply will but I'll give you the only advice I have.

The time apart will be good.
It will give you time to get your thoughts together.
reconnect with your daughter.
Learn more about your self and pursue your own interests.


would he willing to try family therapy?

theres lots of good relationship books on amazon.co.uk,
Some of them are very good at helping you think straight and sort through your feelings.

it's totally normal to be feeling anxious and depressed you have a lot to deal with.
:hugs:

[pinkpiglet]

I think that you should be very proud of yourself for showing a great strength! You have done the right the thing by the most important person in your life....Your daughter! I hear so many stories and see so many instances of where men and women put their partners, lovers, etc before their own children so I am happy to hear that not the whole world as gone stark raving mad. You are obviously more level headed than you give yourself credit for, you have found an amicable solution to a problem and carried it out in the best interest of everyone, you have acted totally selfless and as a parent this is a exactly as it should be. I am sure that you and your partner can continue to have a good, solid relationship by making the best of the current situation. Go out on dates, its got to be more fun than staying home, put time aside for yourself and and make time to spend with your daughters seperately.
Dont question your actions and certainly dont question your daughters, children arent perfect, we all know that but they deserve to be treated fairly and without predjudice in their own home. I 100% think you have done the right thing and I take my hat off to you. x

[andrew]

Hi Sal,
Keep your chin up hun, you'll cope ok x

[Vixxy]

I think you've done a good thing. It may seem like a nightmare, but you did what was best for your daughter. A lot of people will put their love life first and screw the effect it has on the child. So pat yourself on the back for that!

[sal]

Thank you for your replies and thank you so much pink as you gave me some confidence. Ive always believed in my daughter, whether she is an angel or not, she is mine and how she is is due to how ive brought her up. I am quite proud of what i have been through and we have still got there, and did try to explain to Tony that by him having a go at Sam all the time he was directly have a go at me in 2 instances, 1 she is my daughter and 2 my parenting skills as i am who made her what she is today. I really appreciate your replies as at the moment relying on my diazepam and scared im going to get really ill again and i cant go there again. xxx

[bluesparkle]

hi sal
im afraid i dont have any advice but i wanted to send you some :hugs::hugs::hugs:
i used to speak to you years ago ...and often wonder what has happened.
trust in your own instincts hun and you are an excellant mother.
you will be ok ... you are strong.
shout if you want a chat.
rach
x

[sal]

Thanks Rach good to hear from you, how arre you hun xxx

[mercer88]

So...You're recently single huh!? Me too...Would now be a bad time to suggest hooking up :shades:






I'm thinking yes. It probably would! But that's me being ludicrously moral as always :noangel:

If there is one thing I know about guys. And speaking as one, I would hope to know a lot. It is that generally, we're are not worth the hassle. You're evidently still hurting from the break up but, whenever you feel like the guy is your top priority you need to take a look at your kid and see that what you have done is probably right for her.

No youngster deserves to go through life feeling they're inferior, let alone because some jumped up penishead feels his daughter is a saint while yours is Lucifer reincarnate; and every little bit of potential and success in your daughter's future is probably going to stem from the fact that this relationship ended when it did and she did not grow up with an inferiority complex like some messed up people on this forum (*cough*ME!*cough*).

John Lennon once said "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." I'm assuming that most of your future plans involve your young 'un and, what happens to you in the meantime is either a bonus or a hurdle. If it's a bonus, enjoy it. If it's a hurdle, jump over it, kick it out of the way, push it aside, fall over it it, cry for a while, nurse your wounds and get back to running; because your life, and your little girl won't slow down to keep your pace. Whatever happens, you and your little one share a bond for life; every ounce of strength you muster for her now she will pay back ten fold to you in the future; so remember that next time you're feeling hopeless for yourself. It isn't about you; it's about that little girl.

(Oh, and on a side note. I've never met anyone so brave as, or who sets such a good example as an anxiety sufferer. Going through one or two hardships is one thing but waking up every morning feeling life is futile and feeling scared; and still managing to keep going...That's hard work and bravery...Lessons your girl will learn from you and that, in the future, will make you very proud of her.)

[sal]

Mercer, that was a really nice post and tears yet again, thank you i really appreciate what you said. If you ever need support im here for you. Thank you mate and in words i cant say how much your post helped me. x