so very scared...

[misskitty]

Hi I'm new here, going through a difficult time and need some advice. I have suffered from panic attacks for around 10 years. Recently I wanted top move to be with my boyfriend who lives 20 miles away from my home. Instead of moving completely I have kept my flatwhich I can go back to at any time, and am currently staying with him.

At first I felt so positive, but now the panic attacks are coming all the time. I feel strange, scared that I am losingmy mind, nothing feels real, nothing is familiar and I dont know anyone here except my boyfriend. In teh evenings I feel better and more positive and like I want to stay here, but then in the morning it all comes back again.

Its made worse because when I think about going home, that offers me no comfort either, it's like two different worlds, the old and the new and I dont feel like I belong in either.

I get so scared taht I'm going mad or the panic is never going to end, and I had my panic attacks under control before I moved and now its like a landslide. I did expect this to happen but its no easier. Please can anyone offer me help or advice.. I hope I explained this ok. Thanks in advance to anyone who listens. I just need some reassurance from someone who knows what Im going through.

[Vixxy]

Hi there. Mornings are the worst for me too. I moved 37 miles away from my old home a few months ago, so I know what youre going through. I have no friends here either.
I've also had the same thoughts about going back to my old home and felt that it would be just as stressful back there too!
I think its because it takes a while for anyone to settle and feel safe in their home. Regardless of mental health problems.
The anxiety will ease up, you just need to give yourself a little time to get used to being there and form new routines. I suggest you think up things you want to do the next day to fill your day, so that youre not sitting there with nothing to do.
Also it seems to be a very common thing for people with anxiety to feel worse in the mornings. As the days go on youre getting more and more used to being there, so eventually the morning anxiety will fade. You just have to believe it :)
Keep your chin up and well done for moving!

[Nigel]

Hi Misskitty
:welcome: to NMP!
Well done for getting those panic attacks under control before. You can do it again. Moving home is a stressful experience, and stress can bring on anxiety, and eventually panic. So it’s understandable why you seem to be experiencing more of it at this time. And it’s natural for everything to seem strange and unfamiliar, because it is. But when a person is anxious they can’t tolerate all that uncertainty and start to worry about it. And worrying brings on more worrying... and so it goes...

Panic and anxiety are often caused by worrying about it, so it makes sense that if you could stop worrying about it, the symptoms will lessen. One way of being less scared of something is to learn more about it, and there’s loads of info on the left. And just knowing that this has been a stressful time and what you’re experiencing is perfectly normal is reassuring to, don’t you think?

And don’t worry – you’re not losing your mind. Nobody ever went crazy because of anxiety. In fact the mind is working just the way it’s supposed to, only it’s doing it a little too well and being a little too sensitive about things that aren’t really that important.

“Its made worse because when I think about going home, that offers me no comfort either, it's like two different worlds, the old and the new and I dont feel like I belong in either.”

My friend always used to say; “You are your own safe place.” She was a very wise person.

Give it time and you’ll soon be feeling positive about it again, like when you first moved in. Keep focusing on all the benefits and the good times.

Take care :)
Nigel

[misskitty]

thankyou both for your replies. Felt very strange again the last couple of days, trying to just get through it one day at a time but its hardl. Your support has really helped though so thankyou.

[tess]

hi miss kitty
i just want to say i completley empathise with you i am going through a similar thing as you,feeling everything is unfamiliar and different feeling like im not fully there madness.sometimes but on the brink of i suffer with GAD and panic attacks,i feel worse in the evening and night time as i am busy in the mornings.my mam died back in august and i lived at home with her so my home,my family,my life feels unfamilar and scary and not real with her not there i feel highly anxious all the time and at night i get really bad DP/DR and most times cant pinpoint why.any way jus wanted to empathyse with you and say its a battle but keep fighting but remember you conquered your panic before.YOU CAN DO IT :yesyes:

[misskitty]

thankyou tess, it is so reassuring to know i am not alone in this. Its such a scary feeling, and so tiring too. You are right though, I conquered it before and I will do again. I know I need to find some strength in myself and feel safe again, but its hard,. For me I find it easier in the evenings because my boyfriend is home with me, whereas during the day i am alone with only my thoughts for comany :unsure:. again thankyou so much for your reply, I am sorry to hear of your loss, and my thoughts are with you.