Friend coming to stay with me for week causing me stress/anxiety

[Freesolo]

I recently made friends over the internet with a lady similar age to me from Singapore and we have been texting, emailing and chatting on skype for a number of months and she has displayed an interest in coming for a week holiday to the uk in late March staying with me and would also like to travel to london and other tourist destinations.

Although not set in stone it really looks like its going to happen and and its causing me so much stress, im worrying not stop about it. Im worried incase i get a panic attack when's she's here, also if we go out for something to eat i have a phobia of eating in public places, but most of all im worried that i'll just toatally ruin the trip through being so anxious and totally embarress myself

Ive been open with her and told her i dont cope well with stress and have ocassional panic attacks and she just asked what she could do to help if it happens which was nice

I have been making some big changes in my life recently and to even think about this 6 month ago would have put me into a panic attack, but i feel like i really want this to happen and it would be such a positive thing for my life and something i would regret not doing

Im currently taking 20mg of citalopram, and also have access to Diazepam and Ativan for when my anxiety gets too much

Am i worrying too much about nothing? :unsure:

Can anyone offer me any advice on how to stop stressing over this and relax, or things that i could do to help the trip go better when sh's here

Thanks for reading

[LucyR]

Hi, I was just going to say that I do hope this lady is genuine and not some sort of a scammer as you have to be very carefull meeting someone off the internet.

[Freesolo]

No im 100% certain not being scammed :D she works full time has a week holiday in March and just likes to travel which is why she want's to come and visit, she is paying for her own flights and in all the time iv'e known her she has never asked me for money in any way. We are just friends

Thankyou for your concern though:)

[vicky23]

I've been in similar situations when friends have stayed over there's added pressure and worry about showing someone your true self, during the process of friendships becoming deeper you have to make yourself vulnerable and show an amount of trust that the other person isn't going to reject you. This is true for anyone so I'm sure she'd be nervous too but especially for people like us with added insecurities. I can also relate to how you're feeling from the point of view of meeting someone from the internet I've made friends with a few people in different areas and have met up with them and I know it's a very tense and stressful thing to do. Only you know how you would cope with that but for me a week with someone would be too much especially meeting them for the first time, how about suggesting she stay at a hotel near by in which case you can spend lots of time together but if you get a bit panicky you can leave but if you are feeling OK you can spend as much time together as you want. I don't think that anyone would find this unreasonable, it might be that she ends up here but starts to feel uncomfortable in someone elses house I think having a back up plan is always a good idea, even if you just talk about it before hand so both of you know there's options if you start to feel like you'd rather some time alone for a while there's nothing worse than feeling trapped no matter how well you get on with someone, the first face to face meeting situation it can be awkward.
This is a BIG achievement and step to take and it can be a very positive experience, I'm sure you're really excited and looking forward to it as well as being a bit nervous.
Just remember that it's ok and perfectly reasonable to have a few steps in place just to give you a bit of comfort. The first time I met someone from the internet for the day my Mam came with me (at the age of 22 lol) which is quite embarrassing but a true friend will understand, she went out shopping and we had lunch and had a wander round but knowing my Mam was close by brought me that bit of comfort, you know what your comfort things are cos they're personal to you, if you have a bit of social anxiety invites some friends/family around who can take the pressure off in terms of making conversation, you said you had problems eating out so make a trip out to the supermarket so you can cook together etc
Hope you have a really great time I'll write again if anything else helpful comes to mind
:)