frustrated by lack of direction

[allergyphobia]

Hi everybody,

I am getting on quite well at the moment. When i don't have too much stress, my anxiety stays quite low and I am continuing to try and push through my stresses about allergic reactions and food. I still find things difficult but I feel like I know where I am trying to get to and the steps I am taking to get there.

However my main gripe at the moment is my lack of direction in my career. I recently started a new job working for a company that helps long-term unemployed people get back into work. I work at the head office, a desk job and it's not busy enough to keep me interested and motivated.

My degree was in social sciences, research based and about communications. I know i want to work on the 'front-line' so to speak... i dabble with the idea of teaching or social work, or student support services...then to the other extreme of Marketing and PR or working for somebody like indus delta, who carry out market research for brands.

MY main problem is i flit from one to the other. i feel like i've been bored and de-motivated for 2 years, and it's really starting to grind me down. i feel if i could stick out this new job i might be able to become an employment coach, but i don't know how long i can last!! Money is a problem- jobs i see i may be interested in are too low paid and I'm worried at 23 that i keep flitting from one to the next.

I just feel worried to start down a road of something then realise it's not what i want to do. i don't have the right experience for social work - i'd love to help people with mental health problems, i recently saw a job for a volunteer placement co-ordinator for those with mental health problems and it sounded so ideal for me. i feel like i "get" mental health - the books etc the theories just click with me.

so i guess i just feel lost, and unconfident...like should i do some courses, where do i start, i don't know. i like interacting with people, this role is too isolated for me, i know that much.

i feel scared to take a risk and also feel a failure for not knowing or letting myself and people down. it feels horrible not having any direction... complaining so much about being bored at work.

please don't get me wrong i am grateful i have a job - i spent 3 months unemployed and i know how hard it can be.

i'm sorry, this is more of a whinge than anything... just wondered if anyone can relate, or offer any pearls.

x x x

[heavenly]

Hi there, though we have different goals maybe, I can totally relate to some of what you are saying. I have a job which is part time and stress free, receptionist, sounds great, but since getting depression and anxiety and things that have unravalled since going to counselling, I realise that one of the things I need to sort out is my job. I used to be a medical and legal PA so now I feel unfulfilled and bored, then my mind wanders, negativity creeps in and my anxiety and depression gets worse. It has taken some soul searching but I am going to do something about it, baby steps and all that. I want to work with primary school age children, so am going to write off to schools offering my services as a volunteer, then hopefully once I have got my foot in the door, something permanent may crop up. I am going to do a teaching assistant course online, I am also going to do an Introduction to Sign Language Course, we have a couple of special needs schools where I live as well so that may open some doors. I don't know where these courses will take me, but I know that I need to take back control of my life and feel that I am doing something, so its a start anyway! :D

[midgey]

Wow, Heavenly, I really admire your drive.....to push to take on new things when you have anxiety and depression is great.
allergyphobia, I can relate to what you are saying. Our experiences are different but I may have a couple of ideas.
I wonder if you have thought back to when you took your degree, what pulled you to that course. I would imagine you had some idea where you wanted it to take you?
I work as a health visitor so I work closely with social workers. Why do you say you don't have the experience?
I wonder if you have contacted MIND? You may be able to volunteer. They must have some roles where they need coordinators...maybe to guide users of the service to other services?
None of this may be relevant or ring any bells but it may help !!
Good Luck

[ditzygirl]

I can relate to this too sweetie. I dont think its a negative thing necessarily either. Its healthy to gain skills, and attempt new challenges.

You have a job just now which you kinda like and in this current climate that is something to be grateful for. Why don't you try some voluntary work or go to night school and try different courses, even if its fun stuff and see how you get on. Life is about skills but they don't have to be just work based.
Take up a new hobby and you may be surprised at where it takes you.

You might be surprised by where it takes you and who you meet.

Good luck and keep us postedx

[heavenly]

I can relate to this too sweetie. I dont think its a negative thing necessarily either. Its healthy to gain skills, and attempt new challenges.

You have a job just now which you kinda like and in this current climate that is something to be grateful for. Why don't you try some voluntary work or go to night school and try different courses, even if its fun stuff and see how you get on. Life is about skills but they don't have to be just work based.
Take up a new hobby and you may be surprised at where it takes you.

You might be surprised by where it takes you and who you meet.

Good luck and keep us postedx

Exactly what I am doing it for, not sure where it will take me but I am sure it will help me!

Allergyphobia - you have a lot going for you, I know you will succeed! xx

[allergyphobia]

Hi there, though we have different goals maybe, I can totally relate to some of what you are saying. I have a job which is part time and stress free, receptionist, sounds great, but since getting depression and anxiety and things that have unravalled since going to counselling, I realise that one of the things I need to sort out is my job. I used to be a medical and legal PA so now I feel unfulfilled and bored, then my mind wanders, negativity creeps in and my anxiety and depression gets worse. It has taken some soul searching but I am going to do something about it, baby steps and all that. I want to work with primary school age children, so am going to write off to schools offering my services as a volunteer, then hopefully once I have got my foot in the door, something permanent may crop up. I am going to do a teaching assistant course online, I am also going to do an Introduction to Sign Language Course, we have a couple of special needs schools where I live as well so that may open some doors. I don't know where these courses will take me, but I know that I need to take back control of my life and feel that I am doing something, so its a start anyway! :D

Hi Heavenly, thanks so much for your reply!!

I can relate so much to what you've said, especially about feeling unfulfilled and bored and then mind wandering so the anx creeps in. this is completely it.

it sounds like you are really pushing yourself towards you goals - do you think it's this "unfulfilled" feeling that is driving you? i guess i feel as though i have got to a point where the same as you, i need to take the control back and stop putting it off! X

[allergyphobia]

Wow, Heavenly, I really admire your drive.....to push to take on new things when you have anxiety and depression is great.
allergyphobia, I can relate to what you are saying. Our experiences are different but I may have a couple of ideas.
I wonder if you have thought back to when you took your degree, what pulled you to that course. I would imagine you had some idea where you wanted it to take you?
I work as a health visitor so I work closely with social workers. Why do you say you don't have the experience?
I wonder if you have contacted MIND? You may be able to volunteer. They must have some roles where they need coordinators...maybe to guide users of the service to other services?
None of this may be relevant or ring any bells but it may help !!
Good Luck

These are some great ideas, thank you so much. Contacting MIND is a great idea or finding some volunteering. I guess because my background is in office work and research, to cross over to more social work they want somebody with qualifications and experience? You've really made me think about things so thanks so much :) xx

[allergyphobia]

I can relate to this too sweetie. I dont think its a negative thing necessarily either. Its healthy to gain skills, and attempt new challenges.

You have a job just now which you kinda like and in this current climate that is something to be grateful for. Why don't you try some voluntary work or go to night school and try different courses, even if its fun stuff and see how you get on. Life is about skills but they don't have to be just work based.
Take up a new hobby and you may be surprised at where it takes you.

You might be surprised by where it takes you and who you meet.

Good luck and keep us postedx

Hi Ditzy! I think you're right. I should stop seeing it as a negative thing and as a chance to turn things around, to learn new things!!

Definitely going to try the night school/voluntary work route to try a few new things and road test them. I've noticed as i;ve got older (i'm only 23) i've just stopped taking risks and it is time to start taking them again, as like you say, i may be surprised where it takes me!!

Good luck to you too, i will update this when i make some progress as it might spur me on a bit!!!!!

amber
xxx

[heavenly]

Hi Heavenly, thanks so much for your reply!!

I can relate so much to what you've said, especially about feeling unfulfilled and bored and then mind wandering so the anx creeps in. this is completely it.

it sounds like you are really pushing yourself towards you goals - do you think it's this "unfulfilled" feeling that is driving you? i guess i feel as though i have got to a point where the same as you, i need to take the control back and stop putting it off! X

The minute I had even entertained the idea I was going to try something new, I immediately felt better! The power of positive thinking! :yesyes: Changing my job is only one aspect of my road to recovery but its an important one as its a big chunk of our life. I was pootling along in this job, thinking I was happy, then I suddenly had this anxiety and depression and with reading self help books and going to counselling, I realised that I wasn't fulfilled and didn't feel worthwhile with the job I was doing, I knew I had a lot to give. So I am going to ask about volunteering to begin with and do a couple of courses, see how I go!! :D Good luck to you, keep us posted. xx

[allergyphobia]

Definitely! Well you've all inspired me and I have requested some more information on some opportunities i have found on www.do-it.org.uk (http://www.do-it.org.uk) so hopefully they will turn into something!

That's completely it, i don't feel worthwhile in what i am doing and so i need to be proactive and change it :D xx

[heavenly]

Definitely! Well you've all inspired me and I have requested some more information on some opportunities i have found on www.do-it.org.uk (http://www.do-it.org.uk) so hopefully they will turn into something!

That's completely it, i don't feel worthwhile in what i am doing and so i need to be proactive and change it :D xx

That is a great website, I saw that a while ago and forgot about it, thanks for reminding me!! I can feel your positivity through the pc! :D We will do this!!

[allergyphobia]

it's great, just hope they get back to me. frustrated as a lot of the short/evening courses i have looked at seemed to start in january so i seem to have missed the boat... gotta keep on trying though!! xx

[allergyphobia]

Well! After finding some opportunities I was interested in through www.do-it.org (http://www.do-it.org) ....guess what!

Next Friday I am going to a first meeting to be on an events team for a charity that helps disadvantaged inner-city children have a holiday in the country or by the coast!!

This is going to be great events experience for me and an extremely worthwhile cause! I am so excited already.

I am also waiting to hear back from an online magazine that promotes charitable events and are looking for people to write articles online - the man said he was definitely interested and is just looking at my CV.

Thank you everybody for your advice. You gave me the boot up the :whistles:I needed!!

:yesyes: Amber xx

[heavenly]

Well! After finding some opportunities I was interested in through www.do-it.org (http://www.do-it.org) ....guess what!

Next Friday I am going to a first meeting to be on an events team for a charity that helps disadvantaged inner-city children have a holiday in the country or by the coast!!

This is going to be great events experience for me and an extremely worthwhile cause! I am so excited already.

I am also waiting to hear back from an online magazine that promotes charitable events and are looking for people to write articles online - the man said he was definitely interested and is just looking at my CV.

Thank you everybody for your advice. You gave me the boot up the :whistles:I needed!!

:yesyes: Amber xx

Wow, you don't let the grass grow, do you!! :ohmy: Really proud of you for taking that first step!! :yesyes:

[Nigel]

Hi Amber,

Sorry I don’t have many clever ideas for you on this one because I’m a bit like that myself and haven’t yet found the answers. But I wanted to wish you the best of luck for having the determination to try. You deserve to do well :)

It’s a good thing to follow your dreams because a person always does better at something they feel passionate about. It’s always good to have more options available too, but in the current economic climate, don’t be too hasty to burn your bridges until you’re certain about your new ones.

Hope it turns out well :yesyes:
Nigel

[allergyphobia]

Thanks heavenly :hugs:

Hi Nigel sorry I didn't see this before. You're totally right, and I think whilst volunteering out of work hours is available it's a great option because it gives you a chance to dabble in different things without all the commitment and risk I suppose...

I'm just looking forward to having some new interests and finding my "passion" again cos I feel like i have totally lost the direction I used to have. It's okay though.. just time to find a new path I hope :D

Take Care
Amber xx

[heavenly]

I'm just looking forward to having some new interests and finding my "passion" again cos I feel like i have totally lost the direction I used to have. It's okay though.. just time to find a new path I hope :D

Take Care
Amber xx

Same here, I am re-doing my CV today, I have a list of all the primary schools in the area, about 25 in all, and am going to write off to them, see where it takes me! Keep me posted hun. :D

[allergyphobia]

Yayyyy nice one!!! Keep me updated too, you're being really proactive - well done, don't lose the motivation :yesyes:
xx

[ditzygirl]

mmm i think you are the inspiration hun, for being so positive.

Thank you for sharing with us - Im gonna have a look myself on this site.

Well done and let us know how you get on xxx

[allergyphobia]

Dahlia!!!! So interesting!!! I will PM you. Thanks so much x

[harasgenster]

Hi
Just in case this makes you feel better:

I'm 24 and do not know ONE PERSON who doesn't feel the same way as you :)

Don't worry about the flitting careers thing too much. It won't work against you too much as a young 'un - its almost expected among "gen y" (I used to work in recruitment).

I hope you find something you enjoy. Dahlia said about the freelancing she has done - freelancing is stressful but SO GOOD if you're a bit of a flitter or feel like you need direction (me and friends of mine have found anyway!)

Good luck with it all :)

[allergyphobia]

Thanks so much for your reply harasgenster!

I'm definitely a flitter - but the way you put it almost sounds like it's not a bad thing... do you do freelance now then??

:)