Horse
24-01-11, 23:36
Great!
That's all I bloody need!
After over 40 years of suffering Anxiety, the panic attacks, the endless (and pointless) visits to A and E, the constant trips to the GP, the fears, the phobias, the worries, the stresses, the embarrassing and intrusive medical procedures and two failed marriages, it's finally happened!
I've started sodding dribbling when I talk!
Lord almighty only knows where all this saliva has started coming from. All the days when I would have trouble swallowing or speaking properly owing to a dry mouth, endless packets of mints, the regular 'swig' from a small bottle of 'Campsie Spring' and nothing but a mouth as dry as the desert. On one occasion I looked in the mirror to see if I had a mouth ulcer coming, but my mistake, the discomfort was caused by a cactus beginning to grow instead!
Obviously, all this excess has been storing up over the years in a dark and forgotton place of my anatomy that's not used too much, and to the best of my limited medical knowledge, that certain 'place' is not known for its saliva glands!
I give fair warning to fellow sufferers of Anxiety that this particular evil symptom will hit without any warning and of course, manifest itself at the most inconvenient and embarrassing of times.
My first experience of this was fortunately whilst I was at home and on the telephone. Nothing to worry about (I presumed), just a little breakdown between brain and mouth!
However, apart from a few minor further mishaps, namely while dozing off infront of the TV and waking to find the inevitable 'wet' feeling on the chin, nothing to write home about........until this evening!
I had reason to visit my local Pharmacy and was informed by the rather attractive lady who dispenses the medication that she would be leaving soon and therefore would no longer be seeing me. I found this to be both sad and upsetting. Sad because she was leaving, and upsetting because this meant I would have to cross her off my list of 'sexual fantasies'!
Anyway, after discussing her career move and me doing fairly well in the art of suave and sophistication or 'crawling' in a gentlemanly manner, all was going well until a sample of Horse 'Chateau Gob' suddenly projected itself and landed on my overcoat lapel!
Fortunately, no one saw it!
I froze in panic and shock that it had happend again, only this time in public. My feet were welded to the floor and my stare was fixed upon the phamacy counter, totally helpless and unable to avert my gaze. To make matters worse, I was completely unaware that for a good two minutes I was being observed by the other members of staff who were wondering not so much about my 'trance' like state of consciousness, but more at why for a solid 120 seconds.......... I was staring at the condoms!
Needless to say that my chances of romance has taken another turn for the worse.
I look forward to next week when I shall be going to Waitrose.......in my slippers!
Horse.
PS. Aplogies for the swearing.
That's all I bloody need!
After over 40 years of suffering Anxiety, the panic attacks, the endless (and pointless) visits to A and E, the constant trips to the GP, the fears, the phobias, the worries, the stresses, the embarrassing and intrusive medical procedures and two failed marriages, it's finally happened!
I've started sodding dribbling when I talk!
Lord almighty only knows where all this saliva has started coming from. All the days when I would have trouble swallowing or speaking properly owing to a dry mouth, endless packets of mints, the regular 'swig' from a small bottle of 'Campsie Spring' and nothing but a mouth as dry as the desert. On one occasion I looked in the mirror to see if I had a mouth ulcer coming, but my mistake, the discomfort was caused by a cactus beginning to grow instead!
Obviously, all this excess has been storing up over the years in a dark and forgotton place of my anatomy that's not used too much, and to the best of my limited medical knowledge, that certain 'place' is not known for its saliva glands!
I give fair warning to fellow sufferers of Anxiety that this particular evil symptom will hit without any warning and of course, manifest itself at the most inconvenient and embarrassing of times.
My first experience of this was fortunately whilst I was at home and on the telephone. Nothing to worry about (I presumed), just a little breakdown between brain and mouth!
However, apart from a few minor further mishaps, namely while dozing off infront of the TV and waking to find the inevitable 'wet' feeling on the chin, nothing to write home about........until this evening!
I had reason to visit my local Pharmacy and was informed by the rather attractive lady who dispenses the medication that she would be leaving soon and therefore would no longer be seeing me. I found this to be both sad and upsetting. Sad because she was leaving, and upsetting because this meant I would have to cross her off my list of 'sexual fantasies'!
Anyway, after discussing her career move and me doing fairly well in the art of suave and sophistication or 'crawling' in a gentlemanly manner, all was going well until a sample of Horse 'Chateau Gob' suddenly projected itself and landed on my overcoat lapel!
Fortunately, no one saw it!
I froze in panic and shock that it had happend again, only this time in public. My feet were welded to the floor and my stare was fixed upon the phamacy counter, totally helpless and unable to avert my gaze. To make matters worse, I was completely unaware that for a good two minutes I was being observed by the other members of staff who were wondering not so much about my 'trance' like state of consciousness, but more at why for a solid 120 seconds.......... I was staring at the condoms!
Needless to say that my chances of romance has taken another turn for the worse.
I look forward to next week when I shall be going to Waitrose.......in my slippers!
Horse.
PS. Aplogies for the swearing.