victoria_s
26-01-11, 08:01
Hey guys long time no post. I've been doing so well this last year I havnt been on here. Panic has been few and far between. The odd palp here and there but nothing to have an episode over. Anyways its been a funny old year. I was made redundant in april and spent a couple of months travelling and got a new job. However where I live you can only compare to emmerdale and I have or had decided to move to a city an hour away. I'm sick of this small minded negative environment I live in and feel like I'm not living just working a crappy exhausting job for almost minimum wage. So, I went to leeds on my own last fri and never had one negative thought about moving and making a better life til about 30 seconds from getting off the train and then WHAM. It hit me. Dizzy , red hot, out of breath and all that jazz. So being the first one in an extremely long time I thought not today pal I have an interview to go to and eventually walked it off. But it was a bad one and it took me a good hour to calm down. Anyways day went well and I felt goog by the time I went home. But yesterday at work it happened again. A big big one. I had to sit next to window I was burning hot and dizzy. It was a bad day and I had the bubble strange feeling all night. Pains in head etc. So I'm sat on bus to work now praying its not going to happen again and more to the point what the hell am I going to do about moving?! My mam and dad aren't going to be 2 minutes away anymore but I'm so desperate for a new better life , the job is very well paid, the city full of things to do, I'm gutted infact devastated at the thought of having to call this off over panic and anxiety hitting me like a ton of bricks again. And be stuck here in this crap job in a crap environment forever and ever and ever. Plus I now have Asthma so I can't take propanolol if I feel and episode coming on. God I hate you anxiety. Any advice would be appreciated guys.