Nice to find you lot

[bing]

Hi guys, just googled my way here and very pleased I am too. :)

Me, well I'm a 31 year old guy from North Scotland and have suffered with this damned Panic/Anxiety/Agoraphobia for about the last 9 years.
I'm in a happy long term relationship with no particular worries or problems. But, no matter what I've tried I just can't seem to "fix". I've tried all sorts of prescription drugs and also tried easing myself into situations where I know I'm uncomfortable but, even after all these years, I still find myself "losing myself" (if that makes sense to anyone) and running for the door in supermarkets etc.

I feel so frustrated with myself at times. I haven't worked for about 8 years because of these problems. The very thought of being in a crowded office terrifies me. Every place I go to has to be thought about in advance and planned ahead.
"What day is it? Will the shop be busy on this day? Where's the shortest queue? What excuse can I make if I have to leave somewhere quickly?"

In a nutshell, I'm exhausted and want my life back. I feel so crazy at times. I feel I'm "sinking", kind of like I'm disappearing inside myself. My confidence has all but buggered off somewhere I can't find it.

Sorry for my rambling. If anyone can offer any "tricks" (if there is such a thing) to dealing with this stuff, I can't tell you how much I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

Bing.

[Shaz]

Hi Bing,
Like you I've also just joined this site to look for advice and support, but I think doing something positive like this, and hearing other peoples' stories helps to take away some of the isolation and the feeling of being the only one.
I hope you get the help you deserve.
Shaz

What cannot be fitted into your day, cannot be done - forget about it!

[Karen]

Hi Bing

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like although you have been challenging yourself to face the situation which cause you anxiety, you are still thinking about these situations with the same scary thoughts. Therefore you are viewing these places as somewhere to get to, survive and then escape as soon as possible. This keeps the fear cycle going.

It is important to very slowly start to challenge these fears by going to the supermarket, for example. Concentrate on breathing exercises to help calm the anxiety and stay until the anxiety recedes (which it will). At the same time reassure yourself that you are fine and safe.

You might find the following information helpful:

First Steps (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/default.asp?t=cms&c=firststeps)

Symptoms (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/default.asp?t=cms&c=symptoms)

Links post: Links to posts about Common Problems (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7784)

Starting on recovery/Agoraphobia Agorophobia (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6184)
im back now! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6310)
Agoraphobic - how did that happen? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6745)

You will find a lot of help and support here.


Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

[Meg]

Bing

Welcome .

What sort of help have you had so far to deal with this .

Please have a good read up on the home pages and learn as much as you can which you can implement to help yourself.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress

[bing]

Thanks for your quick and welcoming replies. I know the things you mention are the right steps to take but are ones I've already attempted to take. When I mentioned this to my GP she said that it's not necessarily so important to defeat my problems but, as she feels I have done, to learn to live with it. ie: Going to the supermarket late at night etc.

Meg, in answer to your question. In the beginning I was pretty much immediately put onto pills by my GP. I've bounced from one type to another over the years until last year I decided that I wouldn't take any more drugs. They always made me feel a bit woozy in one way or another. Not myself. The GP I had when all this began was (and here's where I 'out' myself) very homophobic and said some pretty unpleasant things. I've since changed GP and, while she is very nice and sympathetic, doesn't really have any solutions or advice other than to suggest a different drug. I've only had dealings with my GP and no-one else regarding this.

I think the trigger for it was when my mother died when I was 21, 10 years ago. I don't recall having any particular "event" as such. Just the beginning of "events". Things like feeling frozen to the spot and about to pass out when I was at work one day. My heart pounding about and sweating and shaking for absolutely no reason.

I fainted at a friends wedding about 5 years ago. Granted, I was VERY hungover. The bride was coming down the isle and I was in the middle of the rows and felt totally trapped. I was desperate to get out but didn't feel I could leave. So I just fainted right there and then and woke up to find everyone standing round me.

One of my biggest fears is the checkout queue. I pray that my card will go through ok, that the person in front won't take long and that my hand won't shake too much to sign the slip. And I dread going to the bread isle because it's about as far and as deep into the shop as you can go, and hence it's a long way out.

My Other Half is so understanding. He's supported me all these years, both financially and emotionally. I suppose I'm just having a dodgy week and will just have to learn to get on with things.

Maybe I need to give myself a kick up the you-know-what.

Bing.

[Alexandra]

Hi Bing

Welcome to the forum.

You will find lots of help & support on here.

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart