Can't cope feeling like this

[phil06]

I duno were to start. I'm beginning to think I can't be helped I've suffered a few relapses however this time I can't accept it. 9 months ago it was just severe OCD I suffered got over panic attacks enough to lead a normal life. However in May last year I had a massive panic attack over failing my test sat two more and failed but gave up. I was on Diazepam for a few weeks which calmed me down. I found sitting more tests would make me feel worse desptite giving I still dwell on it and consider going back to it funny as my anxiety has got worse. The way that affects me has made me a chronic anxious wreck today.

For months my OCD has been bad, had alot of panic attacks, derealization which has made me agoraphobic at tims, insomnia, depression, hypochondria the list goes on. The doctor has gave me a few self help guides, I've bought books, went back on propranalol, paid for a counsellor had three sessions so far. However I'm sat here still as bad or making myself I'll. I can't help it so maybe I'm crazy?

I'm fed up hearing it will pass. To be honest all week I've been at my parents saying I need a doctor to give me a full examination as in still worried they think in okay.

I Duno why Im posting as it some how eases my anxiety. I've been feeling weak so I had to rush to get some chocolate or I felt I'd die. Im sat dwelling on this depersonalization feeling and I hate the fact I can't go out today from worry. :weep:

[jillyb]

Sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. Hang on in there and keep on with the counselling. Can you get any help from the NHS? I self referred myself for cbt and I am finding them really good ... my therapist is excellent. I am, at last, beginning to feel a bit better. I am realistic enough to know that I will have bad times but am learning not to beat myself up (mentally that is!) when I do as it only adds to the anxiety. I have had years of training in being a worrier (would have a PhD if they did them in anxiety!) so I guess it will take some time to retrain myself. I know it's exhausting, but don't give up, you will get better! Take care x