harasgenster
30-01-11, 13:55
Hi
I think this one might sound a bit pathetic...
I know you're not supposed to rely on external praise to decide whether something you do is good but I tend to.
I write comedy in my spare time and its what I want to do as a career. I put it off a lot because i don't want to fail at it but my boyfriend encouraged me to finish editing a sketch I filmed a while ago and put it on the internet. I already draw cartoons on the internet and for a local magazine.
I wasn't really sure about this sketch. I wrote it ages ago and thought it was funny then but, either through overexposure or because it's just not that good, I don't find it funny now. So I kept asking for reassurance and he kept telling me it was good. He tells me that about everything I do.
But here's the problem. He also does some things in comedy. Not to the same extent as me, but he is funny and he writes a lot of jokes on Twitter that have encouraged some of my comedy heroes to follow him. But he never shares any of my stuff on there. He tells me its really good and then he doesn't show anybody it. When he's done things that are funny before I've shared it with all of my friends - like you do anything you find funny.
He shares all sorts of funny things with his friends, on Twitter and Facebook etc, but never my stuff. People he doesn't know ask him to share things of theirs on Twitter and he'll do it. Some of its really rubbish! But when he didn't share the film I finished last night with anybody, despite going on at me to finish, I asked him why he never showed anybody he knew what I did or mentioned it. He said he'd considered tweeting about a cartoon I did that he found funny and I asked him if he wouldn't mind doing it. He said yes but he's avoided doing it ever since.
I now this all sounds so trivial but because of the way I am, if I'm not funny, or I'm not good enough at this, then my life is totally pointless. So it means everything to me. Because he will happily show his friends some complete rubbish that I can't even imagine him finding funny but he's never even thought to mention that I write comedy I feel like he's lying to me about thinking it's good and he'd be embarrassed to show people, or he's trying to protect me from criticism by not letting anyone know because he actually thinks I'm rubbish. This is really upsetting me.
Sorry about the massive post. I didn't expect it to be that long! I know this is totally trivial but am I jumping to conclusions here? Could his actions actually mean something else? Surely if he actually thought what I did was good he'd be proud of me and want to show it off to others? That's the way I feel about him.
I think this one might sound a bit pathetic...
I know you're not supposed to rely on external praise to decide whether something you do is good but I tend to.
I write comedy in my spare time and its what I want to do as a career. I put it off a lot because i don't want to fail at it but my boyfriend encouraged me to finish editing a sketch I filmed a while ago and put it on the internet. I already draw cartoons on the internet and for a local magazine.
I wasn't really sure about this sketch. I wrote it ages ago and thought it was funny then but, either through overexposure or because it's just not that good, I don't find it funny now. So I kept asking for reassurance and he kept telling me it was good. He tells me that about everything I do.
But here's the problem. He also does some things in comedy. Not to the same extent as me, but he is funny and he writes a lot of jokes on Twitter that have encouraged some of my comedy heroes to follow him. But he never shares any of my stuff on there. He tells me its really good and then he doesn't show anybody it. When he's done things that are funny before I've shared it with all of my friends - like you do anything you find funny.
He shares all sorts of funny things with his friends, on Twitter and Facebook etc, but never my stuff. People he doesn't know ask him to share things of theirs on Twitter and he'll do it. Some of its really rubbish! But when he didn't share the film I finished last night with anybody, despite going on at me to finish, I asked him why he never showed anybody he knew what I did or mentioned it. He said he'd considered tweeting about a cartoon I did that he found funny and I asked him if he wouldn't mind doing it. He said yes but he's avoided doing it ever since.
I now this all sounds so trivial but because of the way I am, if I'm not funny, or I'm not good enough at this, then my life is totally pointless. So it means everything to me. Because he will happily show his friends some complete rubbish that I can't even imagine him finding funny but he's never even thought to mention that I write comedy I feel like he's lying to me about thinking it's good and he'd be embarrassed to show people, or he's trying to protect me from criticism by not letting anyone know because he actually thinks I'm rubbish. This is really upsetting me.
Sorry about the massive post. I didn't expect it to be that long! I know this is totally trivial but am I jumping to conclusions here? Could his actions actually mean something else? Surely if he actually thought what I did was good he'd be proud of me and want to show it off to others? That's the way I feel about him.