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Alexandra
30-03-06, 10:41
Hi All

Chris's friend is getting married Saturday & we are going to the evening reception ( because i said to Chris i didnt feel i could manage the whole day)
Anyway i have my outfit already to go but as the weekend draws nearer i feel im getting more anxious re getting there then doing my best to mingle with Chris, other than him i will know a few other people there just can't help feeling worried.

Really wish i could take my own advice & not get so anxious about this.

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

heths
30-03-06, 11:07
Hi Alex,

I understand how you feel, I would feel like this too.

My advice would be to try occupy your mind doing other things and try not to think about it. I'm sure you'll be fine on the day. :)

Take Care,


Heather

Piglet
30-03-06, 11:44
Try where possible Alex to live only in the day you are in!!!

This is especially good advice for us anxious lot. I wonder if you have ever looked at affirmation cards www.holisticshop.co.uk do some lovely ones. I now have about 4 sets of these and keep ones that really mean something to me dotted about and in my handbag and I use them as bookmarks.

I figure we say enough crap to ourselves and look how that makes us feel so if we start saying uplifting stuff then that should have the opposite effect.

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

Alexandra
30-03-06, 11:55
Thanks Heather & Piglet.

Thankyou Piglet for the link i have put it on my favourites & have ordered some cards.

Much appreciate the advice both. :)

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

sillymoo
30-03-06, 12:29
hiya alexandra i know exactly how u feel ive been in this situation alot but believe me hun no matter how anxious and panicky u feel u will relax and enjoy urself.just think to urself if i feel to bad i can always go home!that usually gets me through it!!hope it goes well and enjoy yourself!!!! luv mooxXx

clickaway
30-03-06, 12:42
Hiya Alex,

I would agree that being busy in the run up to the event will help you no end. Try and get a timetable going so you are not wandering aimlessly over the next couple of days.

Now, you've got a new outfit, so put it on in front of the mirror and see yourself looking good with pride. Just being dressed up will give you an air of confidence when you get to the reception.

Take Care,


Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

Quirky
30-03-06, 12:52
Hi Alex,

Sorry I don't have any good advice on this topic but I will be thinking of you.
I bet you will deal with this just fine once you are there, the anticipatory anxiety is the worst bit.

Hugs,

Lisa x

Alexandra
30-03-06, 13:02
Thanks Moo, Click & LJ.

I know once we get there i will relax & be fine. Think im gonna find i got myself in a knot for nothing LOL.

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

darkangel
30-03-06, 13:27
Hi Alex

You go for it girl on Saturday and enjoy yourself !:D

Im like you, good at giving out advice but sometimes dont respond to it ourselves.

Anyway, I will share something with you, I got a phone call this morning from Louise's school as she had started her periods and would I bring a change of underwear - she was mortified and embarrassed and really upset cos what would people think !
Because I had no option and no time to think things through, I jumped in care, drove to school, met nurse at reception who then led me through endless corridors to get to the sick room. It was also a changeover of classes so there were people everywhere. (nightmare) But I managed to do it for Louise and by concentrating on her I soon began to relax.

It proved that when we don't have time to think things over in our mind we find ourselves able to do it - so on Saturday, think of it as excitement rather than anxiety and you will be fine.

Take care

Darkangel

........life is for living not just for surviving

katyfitz
30-03-06, 13:30
Alex i went to see my mate in a show last saturday and i dint think id enjoy it but it was wicked as soon as i was mingling and then watching my mate on stage ikt was as if i was back to the old katy, think positive do positive and know that nothing is gonna happen like it always says u are the only one whp can make the choice to do what we used to and thats called FIGHTING. I bet sunday ul post in success stories. well at least i hope u do

chin up chicken
x

Alexandra
30-03-06, 13:36
Thanks Dark & Katy

Excellent Dark, Glad to hear you over came the anxiety & got to the school to take care of your daughter.

Take Care



Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

Karen
30-03-06, 13:51
Hi Alex

This is the anticipatory anxiety that gets to most of us. Try to remember that you can take yourself off for some quiet time if you need it.

Often I find the occasions like this that I dread the most actually turn out to be fine.



Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

Alexandra
30-03-06, 13:55
Thanks Karen

Yes i definantly think its the build up to to these things too that raises the anxiety.

After all that i will let you all know how it goes.

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

Two heads
30-03-06, 18:33
Hi Alex!I no how you feel for sat,ive got to go out for the frist time in months and i feel the same way!Just try not to think to much about it,like silly moo said we can always go home.Let me no how you get on.Good luck you will be fine!x

india
30-03-06, 20:00
Hi Alex, i know how you feel! Last saturday i had to drive to Newquay to watch my hubby zip wire off a cliff, i was more nervous about being there watching than he was about jumping off a cliff!! Managed it ok, (he said it wasn't scarey enough- can you believe that?!) Then i had to take my daughter to a party and stay with her (shes 4) i managed to get talking to the other mums and soon relaxed. Then we had to go to a posh restaurant with some people he wanted me to meet, i decided to drive so i had an escape route (bad i know! but at least i couldn't drink) i made a real effort with my appearance, and that made me feel really confident. Also i find asking people questions and getting them to talk about themselves takes the emphasis off your own feelings. We're off to another meal this Sat night, so i'm hoping for repeated success.
I'll be thinking of you, India xxx

Alexandra
30-03-06, 21:07
Thanks Bong & India

Good luck with your outing Bong.

Wow India re your hubby doing the jump would have definantly been the same as you if id been there. Im glad you got through the birthday party.

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

feege
30-03-06, 22:49
Hi Alex

Sometimes I think our silly bodies can't tell the difference between excitement and anxiety! I know exactly how you feel, but every time we do something like this we get further along on our road to recovery and you have been doing brilliantly!:D:D:D

Focus on all the mundane things of day to day life as much as you can - and the cards piglet recommended look great - I'm going to try them too!

I bet you will have an absolutely fantastic time once you get there and I can't wait to hear all about it!

(yes giving out advice is much easier isn't it lol;))

Loads of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!

Trev
30-03-06, 23:30
Alexandria,

Couple of things. Firstly, many people get a bit nervy about these things, not just anxiety and panic sufferers!!

Secondly, anxiety and excitement are the same mechanisms. We feel anxious because we are putting a negative slant on the anticipation. Change that anticipation to a positive approach and you will be simply excited!!

For example, think of all the great new people you might meet rather than thinking that you don't know anyone. Apply this to all your pre day thoughts.

Enjoy getting dressed up and if you do have a wobble, so what? Get a bit of air and carry on. Maybe print off some stuff from this site that you like and stick it in your bag. Try not to look at what might go wrong and have a great time :D:D

Cheers,
Trev

alexis
30-03-06, 23:57
Hi Alex, you have pmd me over the last few weeks with wonderful advice so listen her (lol) I too am going out on Saturday..... I hope, I dont suppose you have read any of my posts from before you arrived but prior to my present problem I had/have social phobia, I missed out on so many things, I have had a lot of help to get me to places and one thing I have, which was my own doing is a safety kit. In it I have Blu Tac, as big or as small as you wish, roll it, shape it, no one can see it, but believe you me it is wonderful.It is the best thing ever. I also have other things, a squeezy ball, elastic band to twing.
Like so many have said it is the anticipatory.
put on your glad rags, your tutty and go and enjoy (lol, says me, hope I can too)

sal
31-03-06, 00:28
Hi Alex

Sorry missed the start of this. You can do it hun and will wow the lot of them. We are all here supporting and thinking about you. Sending you big hugs and i know you can do this hun.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

dawnym
31-03-06, 08:46
Hi Alex I agree with everything that has been said,I would be in a total tangle but if you don't know anyone to me that says no-one to judge you on past indescresions.
You have the outfit,so tonight I would have a bath and totally pamper yourself so you feel great as well as look great.
The perfect place for you to be yourself.:D:D
Enjoy I'm sure you will once you get there and inside.
xxDawn

W.I.F.T.S.
31-03-06, 09:37
Hi Alex,

I was in pretty much the same boat last Saturday. It was an evening do and I was expecting people to be there that I had had a really bad falling out with a few years ago, which only added to my nerves.

Waiting for the taxi to arrive I was wringing my hands and getting quite nervous, but when I git there I was fine and caught up with a whole host of people that I hadn't seen for ages and had a good chat with a few new people.

One word of advice though, don't over do it with the alcohol. I had much more than I normally do and the next day I felt really horrendous and more panicky than i have done in ages. Alcohol is a depressant afterall.

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

sal
31-03-06, 09:39
Hi Al

Wont be on line this weekend as going away today, but i will be thinking about you.

Sending you lots of positive vibes.

Take care and enjoy!!!

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

Alexandra
31-03-06, 10:39
Hi Everyone

Thankyou you all for your great advice its all much appreciated.

Im now feeling quite excited about Saturday & meeting new people as well as the ones ive previously met.

LOL Thanks for the warning re the alcohol Wish, do'nt worry im going to be good ( i remember the last time i got a hangover oh my poor head & tum LOL)

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

feege
31-03-06, 21:25
Hi Alex

I just wanted to wish you good luck for tomorrow - not that you need it because you are going to have a really fantastic time[8D]

I love a good wedding reception me - I'm a party animal at heart (if I can get there!!).... hope you have your high heels and glitz sorted!!!

Loads of Love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fee xxxxxx
www.like2like.com

Why live life anticipating the bad things when you could be anticipating the good?
Good and bad things WILL happen!

Karen
31-03-06, 22:51
Hope you have a good time tomorrow Alex.

Remember that it is true anxiety and excitement actually are the same mechanisms at work, it is just the way we interpret the feelings. An example is people who take part in extreme sports or go on rollercoaster rides!



Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

Quirky
31-03-06, 22:53
Hi Alex,

Hope tomorrow goes well, I have a feeling it will :D. Will be thinking of you.

Lisa x

Chardonay
31-03-06, 22:59
Hi Alex,

I know how you feel I had Hubbys posh black tie do last december.I was panicky and Anxious but then said to myself, fears you will not spoil this for me so leave me alone for one night.
And I had a really good time.
And you will be fine once you are there.
Remember you are in control and enjoy it.

Tall dark and mysterious was his name,
magic love and money was his game.

Beauty is a real thing, not just a reflection in the mirror

Alexandra
31-03-06, 23:10
Thanks, Fee. Karen, LJ & Chardonay.

Your good wishes are very much appreciated.

Take Care

:)

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

alexis
01-04-06, 11:11
Thinking about you today Alex.xxx

Alexandra
01-04-06, 12:52
Thanks Alexis

:)

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

Quirky
01-04-06, 23:02
Hi Alex,

Been thinking of you, hope today went well.

Lisa x

Two heads
02-04-06, 00:30
Hi alex!How did you get on?I have had a great night,met up with loads of people i havet seen in months.I didnt feel bad once all night,thanks to citalopram and my thought process!!xx

Karen
02-04-06, 07:49
Hi Alex

How did the evening go? I hope you were able to enjoy yourself and have a good time.


Karen



Happiness is not a state to arrive at but a manner of travelling.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough ~ Christine Cagney, Cagney & Lacey

darkangel
02-04-06, 11:50
Morning Alex

How did it go last nite?

Thinking of you

Darkangel

........life is for living not just for surviving

sillymoo
02-04-06, 12:27
i want to know how it went to!!!!but im sure it went well!take care mooxXx

Quirky
02-04-06, 12:47
It went so well that Alex has put a post in success stories :D

Well done Alex,

Lisa x

Alexandra
02-04-06, 22:52
Hi All

I managed to get throught it & had a nice time. Thanks ladies for you messages it means alot.:D

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart