crazyhayz
01-02-11, 18:54
hi guys, ive not been around for few weeks, decided to stop using no more panic as i felt it wasnt actually helping my anxiety (even though i believed it was). My bf said it was exacberating my problem always posting things about my health, waiting for replies etc. He said it wasnt helping me move forward. So i started using it alot less. I am waiting to go back to CBT, but tbh I dont even know if i truly need it now. Im not saying ive beaten this, as i havent, but i go to college everyday qwithout anyt problems, i havent had a panic attack in ages, i rarely get anxiety symptoms now but if i do then i immediately tell myself its anxiety coz im stressed and it goes.
I just dont think like i used to anymore, like ''oo what was that symptom, wonder why thats happening, probably a serious illness, wonder what people will say if i ask the health anxiety board'' its all i used to think about. I dont believe i have any serious medical condition anymore, i get chest pains everyday but i know its muscle related coz ive had a echocardiogram! my lumps were checked and told they didnt think they were cancerous, now i could of thought 'oo so you dont THINK they are cancerous, and so the cycle the continues..' but i didnt, i just dont care anymore, ive had enough of feeling like this, if its guna happen its guna happen, im living my life and finally feel normal, i dont care if i have cancer or heart problem, or stroke, i just cant be bothered to worry anymore and it literally clicked about 4 weeks ago. since then i rarely even think about anxiety or anything medical atall! I just feel sooo much better!
I believe if u constantly think about or are reminded of illnesses and anxiety ur never everrrr get over it. its about changing ur thoughts and what u let yourself see or read.
I am starting a work placement in A&E in two weeks! i would never everrr have been able to apply for sumthing like that a while back! and im actually excited about doing it too. Im not guna sit here n say ive beaten it, as i will always get anxiety/stress symptoms (bit of dizziness, bit shakey, palps) but what is it honestly guna do to me?? ive suffered for over a year now and ive had every test going, im sick of it. i said to my doctor ive always been a naturally anxious person, as a kid i had to sleep with the light on, i also wouldnt get in another persons car without checking how long theyd been driving, and thats crazy for a child of 10 or younger to be worried about that sorta stuff!
i have just accepted that its natural anxiety that everyone gets and im susceptible to physical symptoms due to either genes (my mum, gran, and great gran have had anxiety, panic attaks and nervous breakdowns, and i had mine last march!) , or stress (being lone parent). and ive also accepted its not anything physical, its all mental. not coz im ill. sure i still lay in bed thinking 'what if i die tonight and my 2 year old has no mumy' and it freaks me out, but used to set me into panic, but not now. i just think well if its guna happen then it will, naff all i can do about it so get to sleep lol.
I wanna say thankyou to every single person whos helped me through all my troubled months, especially to Ella-Jayne who helped me massively with my 'heart phobia' lol. Just to everyone, uve all helped me in some way shape or form. But i do believe that constantly being reminded of anxiety and other peoples physical symptoms just isnt helping me so il pop in every now n then to say hi but thats about it lol.
just start changing ur thoughts, its the first thing to do, cbt only worked for me for about 2 months as i hadnt convinced myself that i wasnt ill deep down.
i have a neurology appt tomorrow, im guna tell him i think its all anxiety as i havent had any of the symptyoms ive been to my doctor about in the last month so if i had anything wrong neurologically, i wouldnt of felt better all of a sudden, but we'll see how it goes, i went for a 'cancer' check-up today LOL, based on lumps i had in groin n neck. they wanna see me in 4 months incase they are growing but twice ive been now and they arent growing, i asked to be discharged but they refused lol, i cant blv how much ive changed, its like the old me, last time i woulda been beging them to biopsy lol. I just hope everyone can start to rebuild their lives on here, u can do it, its all in the mind.
good luck to everyone one of you xxxx
crazyhayz xxxxxx :) xxxxxx
ps. has Eggy been diagnosed with anything yet???? :)
I just dont think like i used to anymore, like ''oo what was that symptom, wonder why thats happening, probably a serious illness, wonder what people will say if i ask the health anxiety board'' its all i used to think about. I dont believe i have any serious medical condition anymore, i get chest pains everyday but i know its muscle related coz ive had a echocardiogram! my lumps were checked and told they didnt think they were cancerous, now i could of thought 'oo so you dont THINK they are cancerous, and so the cycle the continues..' but i didnt, i just dont care anymore, ive had enough of feeling like this, if its guna happen its guna happen, im living my life and finally feel normal, i dont care if i have cancer or heart problem, or stroke, i just cant be bothered to worry anymore and it literally clicked about 4 weeks ago. since then i rarely even think about anxiety or anything medical atall! I just feel sooo much better!
I believe if u constantly think about or are reminded of illnesses and anxiety ur never everrrr get over it. its about changing ur thoughts and what u let yourself see or read.
I am starting a work placement in A&E in two weeks! i would never everrr have been able to apply for sumthing like that a while back! and im actually excited about doing it too. Im not guna sit here n say ive beaten it, as i will always get anxiety/stress symptoms (bit of dizziness, bit shakey, palps) but what is it honestly guna do to me?? ive suffered for over a year now and ive had every test going, im sick of it. i said to my doctor ive always been a naturally anxious person, as a kid i had to sleep with the light on, i also wouldnt get in another persons car without checking how long theyd been driving, and thats crazy for a child of 10 or younger to be worried about that sorta stuff!
i have just accepted that its natural anxiety that everyone gets and im susceptible to physical symptoms due to either genes (my mum, gran, and great gran have had anxiety, panic attaks and nervous breakdowns, and i had mine last march!) , or stress (being lone parent). and ive also accepted its not anything physical, its all mental. not coz im ill. sure i still lay in bed thinking 'what if i die tonight and my 2 year old has no mumy' and it freaks me out, but used to set me into panic, but not now. i just think well if its guna happen then it will, naff all i can do about it so get to sleep lol.
I wanna say thankyou to every single person whos helped me through all my troubled months, especially to Ella-Jayne who helped me massively with my 'heart phobia' lol. Just to everyone, uve all helped me in some way shape or form. But i do believe that constantly being reminded of anxiety and other peoples physical symptoms just isnt helping me so il pop in every now n then to say hi but thats about it lol.
just start changing ur thoughts, its the first thing to do, cbt only worked for me for about 2 months as i hadnt convinced myself that i wasnt ill deep down.
i have a neurology appt tomorrow, im guna tell him i think its all anxiety as i havent had any of the symptyoms ive been to my doctor about in the last month so if i had anything wrong neurologically, i wouldnt of felt better all of a sudden, but we'll see how it goes, i went for a 'cancer' check-up today LOL, based on lumps i had in groin n neck. they wanna see me in 4 months incase they are growing but twice ive been now and they arent growing, i asked to be discharged but they refused lol, i cant blv how much ive changed, its like the old me, last time i woulda been beging them to biopsy lol. I just hope everyone can start to rebuild their lives on here, u can do it, its all in the mind.
good luck to everyone one of you xxxx
crazyhayz xxxxxx :) xxxxxx
ps. has Eggy been diagnosed with anything yet???? :)