OCD into panic and anxiety

[dc100]

hi,

ive been really stressed for the last few weeks and this afternoon i was having a cigarette and thought this taste funny and i started worrying there was something wrong with it which would cause me to go mad - now im just obsessing and testing my thoughts to make sure im not going mad

one of my common obsessions is contamination

[loveletter]

Thank God for your post.
I have had this for about 10 years now.
It is so very embarrassing but I had to tell my therapist a few years ago as I thought this really meant I was mad.
I still have this now, I smoke about 15 a day and have to look at the cig before I smoke it to see if it looks right, is it a funny color are there bits in it.
So many cigs I put out as have thought they never tasted right.
Have had a few panic attacks over the years and have cried thinking something was in the cig.
Wish I could give up smoking as this is with me every day some days being much worse then others.

Although I am a christian and have never took drugs in my life I was married to someone who did although he never did in my house and he died of a drug overdose a few years back.
Also my son about 10 years ago was very heavy into smoking dope until he nearly had a break down over this and thank God does not go near it now.
My therapist things I have a fear of being drugged which the world in which we live in today we do have to be careful as you hear so many bad things happening.

Is this the first time you have had this happening to you

[dc100]

been suffering for such a long time with OCD about contamination it moves about and when im low it just gets worst i know it a crazy thought but its so hard to overcome, we not the only ones