Bridesmaid dress shopping........ panic attack!!!

[fairyclairy]

Hi,

Im being a bridesmaid for my brother in August - im absolutly terrified but determined to do it because il only have that one opportunity!!

Its time to sort out the bridesmaid dresses and we had an appointment this morning at one dress shop... there was me, the bride and 3 other bridesmaids... and i was terrified!!

I was having hot sweats, chest was tight, legs felt numb and wobbly, felt weak and tense, heart was pounding, dry mouth, chest pains.... the lot!!

It came to me trying on the dress we all liked and thats when it got worse because i knew i was trapped - i was trapped in the dress (because the lady was tieing me in at the back) and i knew i couldnt run out... it was horrible! I actually said 'can you undo it please im panicking' and i felt like such a freak!! The bride knows i have panic attacks but the others dont... i felt like such a failure - i just wanted to enjoy it like everyone else but i hated it.. i felt so ill!

Anyway, iv done that this morning and to make matters worse we have another appointment at another dress shop this after at 3pm - to do it all over again!! Im so scared.... i was just wondering if anyone has any tips to get through it? I had my water and was gulping that :blush: and i was trying to tell myself i was fine but i was that worked up that it all went out the window...

Iv got to do it! I want to do it!

Can i please just have the reassurance aswell that nothing will happen.. no matter how panicky/worked up i get.. nothing is going to happen to me?! I know it wont, but its good to hear it from others too.....

Thanks guys, wish me luck! xx

[margaret jones]

Bless you Fairy you did it even though it was not easy and nothing happened to you .
Good luck for this afternoon deep breaths and maybe ask to be first in the try on then you can relax a bit what colour are you having ?? and what style ?? how exciting have a lovely afternoon well try will be thinking of you xxxxx have a :hugs:xxx

[smb25]

Ah bless you... I promise nothing will happen. You have got to try and keep yourself calm, deep breathing techniques that you may have been taught. Try and focus on something that makes you really happy.

I somethimes get over these feelings by repeating over and over in my head "I will not let the devil in my head!" sounds strange but it does help me.

NOTHING will happen, NOTHING will happen.

x Let us know how you got on.

[smb25]

Minds think alike on the "blesses" there Margaret! x

[fairyclairy]

Thanks guys - i really appreciate it!

We had a favourite this morning and it was gorgeous... floor length, straight down, strapless and roushed (sp?) around the stomach with a little jewel on the centre on the chest under the bra... deep purple colour.. its lovely! Im just hoping i can enjoy the day in August and not be like this!!

Im gona try and calm down now and try not to think about it later... iv done this morning so i can do this afternoon - positive thinking and all that! lol :yesyes:

Nothing will happen to me and if i do need to sit down or pop outside then i will do.... i know i shouldnt feel ashamed of them but i do! I try and fight against them which probably makes them worse!!

xx

[smb25]

It sounds beautiful, you WILL be fine, both today and in August, I got married last year and felt the same as you are with the "what ifs". Funny enough, on the actual day, I was probably the most calm!

Try and stay nice and relaxed, you know you can do it x

[ditzygirl]

Get some rescue remedy pastilles - they have helped me out on many an occasion.
And try to enjoy the shopping, all those lovely dresses, you will look beautiful. Listen to that lovely Imeda May song now - its catchy and you can hum it all afternoon by way of distraction.

Just remember - its an honour to have such a role in this important event - don't let panic stop you!!!

Go and enjoy trying on these dresses - you can do this and it will be funxxx

ps let us know how you get onxx

[joans60]

Good luck you will do it Enjoy it
Have you got any rescue remedy if so take that
If you havnt got any just slip into a chemist and get some they say they are very good you can have pastilles or spray



Joan

[willitstop]

i could be writing your post as im being a bridesmaid for my sister in may and i have a dress fitting in 2 weeks,,, im crapping myself but trying to stay positive xx

[fairyclairy]

Well, i got through it xx

Really dont know how but i did... the room where we were was absolutly tiny and full of dresses everywhere - you literally had to push by someone to get past, it was also very hot and stuffy and just awful! I panicked like mad.. but i had my water with me and took my rescue remedy pastills.... i feel awful, i really did.... but i didnt run out and managed to stay there which i guess is good!

I feel absolutly drained now so having a chilled night in and will hopefully feel better in the morning!

Im determined to do this for my brother, whatever it takes so i need to continue trying to get better - iv got till August! lol

Willitstop - good luck for your dress fitting - im sure it will be fine! Take some water with you and do whatever works for you to keep yourself relaxed... i think i got myself so worked up today because i didnt really know anyone (apart from the bride... but we still dont really go out together etc) so i did feel abit alone and also i didnt have anyone to talk too to get my mind off things which always helps in the past so atleast its your sis which you know and i persume she knows about your panics etc? Let us know how you get on xx

[ditzygirl]

Hun - you should be really really proud of yourself. I appreciate how hard that was but you have done it.

Now you need to keep testing yourself and I KNOW how hard it will be, believe me.
You can do it and you have time to practise.

We are here to support you any time at all.

Did you find a dress ???xx

[fairyclairy]

Thank you... I know itl be hard, but il do it :D
We do have a favourite! We keep going back to the same one... think the bride is going to look in another shop first and if she see's anything nice then we'll all go there to try on.. if not, itl be the dress we all loved today! xx

[jothenurse]

Congratulations for getting through that. You did fantastic.

[amandainuk]

Hi there

I can relate. I was bridsemaid for best freind a few years back and on the day I just started to sweat and had to blast myself with cold hairdryer. I never normally recommend pills. BUT for me, 20mg propanaolol twice a day for a few days before the big day and on it could make the world of difference for you. You still feel "yourself", but you just can't panic or shake. I couldn't have passed my driving test without it!

Good luck and I am sure you will be fine.

[REBECCAP]

Fairy I am in the exact same situation as u right now. Bridesmaid for a friend in July and dread every single trip to try on dresses. I too panic and feel trapped. Not like u can run out the shop wearing a dress is it. I take my bottle of water and try desperately to distract myself. I am so concerned about the wedding day itself. I'm not sure I will be able to cope! I feel so bad as this is a friend and an honour to be a bridesmaid and I'm so frightened.
Let's hope we can both be strong enough on the day. X

[fairyclairy]

Im sure we can be strong on the day RebeccaP... i just dread getting half way down the aisle and completely freeking out!! Also, i have my bag with me all the time - it has my water in it and rescue remedy etc, but being a bridesmaid.. i wont be able to have my bag!! I wont be able to have it with me for any of it because i cant carry a big bag with me down the aisle!! lol

I just dread it..... im doing hypnotherapy at the moment and im just praying that il be better, or atleast a little better by August... i agree that its such a honour being asked to be a bridesmaid but i just feel like everyone will be better if i just stay at home on the day so i cant ruin it by panicking... im sure we'll be ok :)

We'll have to stay in touch and get each other through it lol x

[REBECCAP]

You sound the carbon copy of myself Fairy!! I too like to have my bottle of water and rescue remedy to hand at all times and im freaking because i wont be able to carry it. Also i dont wanna let her down. Would love to stay in touch to see how we get on.
How are you finding hypnotherapy?? I have just started a CBT course. Its not going to bad actually have had a reasonable week this past week so fingers crossed. I have suffered with anxiety and panic for 15 years though and never really dealt with it. So am just starting to now! x

[fairyclairy]

Iv had it 11 years so not far behind you :)
Hypnotherapy is going really well - im starting to feel alot better, sleeping better, feeling more relaxed etc so its all positive so far!
Defo like to keep it touch.... im sure we can do the day! We'l hav to swap pictures of us on the day smiling away (which im sure we will be!!)
xx

[REBECCAP]

Sounds like hypnotherapy is really working for you hun. I would love to try it but im not sure i could relax enough to go under.
Yeah lets keep in touch ..... and post some pics.

I have got another dress trying on session on Saturday so wish me luck. My friend that i am bridesmaid for doesnt even know that i suffer with panic attacks so im thinking maybe i should tell her?? What do you think? x

[fairyclairy]

Yeah id definitly tell her if you think she would understand and not make you worse?
Because if she knows and understands, itl make you feel better and more comfortable with things on the dress fitting day and on the wedding day...

Good luck for Sat!! Im waiting for hear back from the bride to see if we're looking at anymore or having the one we liked, in which case, itl then be going back to be measured... xx

[willitstop]

ok so its d day tomorow i have to go and have dress fitting for my bridesmaids dress and im so scared already :( :(
any tips greatlly taken xx

[fairyclairy]

You'll be fine... i know its hard to believe and i wouldnt believe it myself when i was on my way to my dress fitting but you will be - even if you panic like mad, NOTHING will happen to you... panic DOES NOT harm you! Keep this in mind tomrrow..

Also, have a bottle of cold water with you, that helped me as i go warm and stuffy trying on the dresses.

If you've got rescue remedy.. take that too!

I know its scary and i understand you'll be extreemly anxious about going but try and not give in to it... stay in the moment and try and go with the flow... and know at the back of your mind that if you did need to leave or go out for some air, you can do! You are not trapped anywhere and you can always escape a shop...

Deep breaths, positive thinking, distraction techniques and im sure you'll have a lovely time :)

Let us know how you get on x

[willitstop]

Thank you will keep your advice in mind :)
i no that i will be ok but i hate the thought of having panic attacks :( :(

[REBECCAP]

Good luck for tomorrow you will be ok. I had my first measurements taken last Sat and honestly it really doesn't take that long. Just always remember .... your in control if u need a break u can have one. Nothing will happen to u ..... panic is just a feeling. Remember to breath .... normal breath in slow one out. Let us know how it goes x

[willitstop]

well im back home safe and sound and guess what happened..... NOTHING i was anxious but manged to control it so i didnt have a panic attack :yahoo::yahoo::yahoo:
dress fitted perfect so no alterations needed :yesyes:.
thanks for your support :bighug1:

[fairyclairy]

WELL DONE!! I bet you feel so proud of yourself and so you should!! You've done really well... not only to push yourself to go but to control it and not let it escalate into a panic attack... :hugs:

Glad the dress fitted too x

[willitstop]

thank you :bighug1: